


Voices Of Silenced Cities

by GhostDayZ



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Complete, Drama & Romance, Emotional, Established Relationship, F/M, Japanese Character(s), Japanese Culture, Kagoshima, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Original Character(s), Other, Rabies, Realistic, Sad, Survival Horror, Teens, quarantine blues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 45,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostDayZ/pseuds/GhostDayZ
Summary: After a mutation of a rabies virus strand, four teens get stuck together and try to work their way through their small countryside city, now transformed into a still and silent world. While given the daunting task of reaching their prefecture’s border to reunite with their families, the Ministry of Defense closes in and has no intentions of letting the infected leave.
Relationships: Bunji Sasaki/Takumi Morita, Taniko Oku/Itsuki Kinoshita





	1. Liminal Rooms

**Author's Note:**

> ⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️: This story contains graphic material not suitable for individuals under the age of 14, or those struggling with mental illness, and or sensitive to the following content — Mental health themes, LGBTQ+ topics, Homosexuality, Minor gore, Strong language, Death to minors/animals, Suicide, Bodily illness, and Unhealthy family relationships. 
> 
> ATTENTION: This is a work of fiction. Any references to real life names, people, places, organizations, events, literature, or objects is purely coincidental and or done on the grounds of fiction. The fictional events do not reflect the real life association with any real places or organizations mentioned. Do not attempt to recreate any acts of violence depicted in this work. 
> 
> AUTHORS NOTE — I am looking to improve my writing and English. Please feel free to comment writing tips, any incorrect grammar, more natural dialogue alternatives, and fixed spelling. Any feedback is helpful.
> 
> Thank you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four Azaleas are left alone in their once charming city after a horrific tragedy.

COVER IMAGE INFO - The cover image above was done using art assets from Irene Gatteschi (Flowers) and DJARN on Tumblr (Character Models). The cover itself was made in the app Pics. Please understand that this and other artwork is subject to change.

**PROLOGUE**

It’s nice here...

In this room that has no outside.

A place that exists only to me.

I’ve been coming here a lot recently.

Maybe it’s to preserve us; both me and you. In this liminal place where time and situation mean nothing.

I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. But I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

The only thing that matters, is that here we’re together.

You all laugh and lay around as if you didn’t have a single care in the world. You’re at peace, like flowers swaying in the wind in an open field; stretching out into a vermilion sea of azaleas. It’s not how things were, but the way things should be. No one is hungry, or dirty, or in pain, or sad, or scared. We’re happy, all of us.

I don’t think it’s a place I’ve ever been before, but as long as you’re all here with me then the place itself is irrelevant.

Although as much as I want to stay...

There’s a voice screaming I can’t.

That I have to leave the room.

To find out what lies beyond the border of the door.

I don’t want to.

But I know I have to.

。

。

。

**CHAPTER 1**

Takumi Morita touched his own face so as to confirm that he indeed was still alive; his heart still beat, lungs still breathed, and he continued to exist.

He sat upright, pushing himself up from the worn-out foam tumbling-mat that had been repurposed as a bed. He’d been in this stuffy and humid gym storage room for three days now, and the reality of waking up on the floor surrounded by his friends was becoming somewhat normal, comforting even. It reminded him of those vague memories he had of when he was a toddler. Being left by his mother on a futon with his older sister, Saori, where they would eventually fall asleep side by side.

He opened his eyes slowly to give them time to adjust to the stark whiteness of the walls, which was only made more intense by the sunlight that poured in through the window. A few origami figures made of textbook paper stood on the windowsill. A dog and butterfly, accompanied by an airplane and boat.

“Go-good morning.”

Takumi turned his head to the right only to find Bunji Sasaki sitting against a ball-rack. He was a boy of average height, although the way he talked was anything but. In fact, he hardly spoke at all.

Reaching upward to the rack just above his head, Bunji grabbed a basketball before bringing it forward and placing it in his lap, all while keeping eye contact with Takumi. Bunji always seemed to have an energetic quality to him, always fidgeting or playing with something. This along with the fact he had a wide yet flat nose which gave him a uniquely endearing face cemented the nickname Bunny in Takumi’s mind.

“Glad to see you’re up before me for once.”

Bunji nodded and then began to slowly stand up with the ball still in his hands.

“Wait, where ya goin?” Takumi asked in a hushed voice. Bunji switched the ball completely over to his left hand and then pointed to it with his right, before gesturing over to the opposite side of the room. This was nothing out of the norm. Bunji, along with the rest of the group would periodically bounce a ball against the wall throughout the day to keep away boredom. Takumi stretched and then looked back up to Bunji.

“Nah come on, it’s too early. They’re still sleeping.”

‘They’, being Taniko Oku and Itsuki Kinoshita. The two were sound asleep. Itsuki placing his arm around Taniko as if spooning her. Taniko’s round glasses almost sliding off her face.

Bunji quietly placed the basketball on the ground next to the mat and knelt down to get a closer look at the pair. “Ta-Tani, for-got about her glasses.” He said as he carefully removed the silver frames from her face.

“Look at you bein a gentleman.” Takumi stated as he crawled over and took a seat next to Bunji. “Why aren’t you like that with me huh?” He said jokingly. Bunji smirked and handed over the glasses to him.

”Yo-you make me sound li-like I don’t care a-bout you.”

”I know ya do.” Takumi replied as he folded the arms of the glasses inward. “I am getting kinda hungry though. Should we wake them up?”

A devilish grin stretched across Bunji’s face.

”Okay, I’ll take that as a yes.” Takumi set the glasses off to the side and both boys got into crouching positions. “One, two, three.” They then lunged forward and pounced onto the unsuspecting sleeping couple, creating one big dog-pile. ”Rise and shine!”

”Takumi what the hell!” Itsuki yelled still half asleep.

”We were hungry so we needed to consult the keeper of the food.”

“Dude get off! You smell like a—“

“Butt. He was going to say butt.” Taniko interjected as she pushed Bunji off. “Itsuki I thought we talked about the swearing.”

“So? No one else’s here. It’s just us, I don’t need to be polite.”

“Be like Bunji, he’s never rude or swears.”

“Bunji doesn’t talk in general!”

Bunji stood up once again before jumping and flattening himself on Takumi and Itsuki. The boys groaned under his weight as he made impact.

“Okay that actually hurt!” Itsuki said through bated breath.

“We demand there be food in our bellies, Almighty Food-Keeper!” Takumi roared.

“Alright you win, you’re crushing my ribs! Here Taniko, you get to have the two ass-smelly dudes all over you.” Itsuki huffed as he pushed Takumi and Bunji off and onto Taniko. Taniko snorted. “I probably don’t smell any better.” She wrestled with Takumi before pushing him off. Bunji too was eventually defeated and laid back-first on the tumbling-mat. Taniko sighed as she sat up and felt her hair. Running her fingers through she could tell it was drenched in grease. Even the natural upward flip of the ends was beginning to sag. “The first thing I’ll do when I get home is take a bath.”

“I’m pretty sure we all need one.” Itsuki said as he propped himself up and reached into his pocket. “I can’t wait till I can charge my cell again.” He then pulled out his Android phone and brought it up to his face. Using the black reflective screen as a mirror he began examining his reflection. His usual well-kept appearance and clear skin was starting to falter. Acne had begun to dart his cheeks, while on his upper lip hints of whiskers sprouted up.

Taniko looked over to her boyfriend, somewhat frustrated by his vainness. “Mind if I borrow your phone?”

Itsuki turned skeptical as he glanced over to her. “What for? It’s dead.”

“Same reason you’re using it.”

“Taniko you look fine. I think you look beautiful no matter what. Looks don’t matter.”

“Says the guy staring at his reflection.” Taniko quipped before snatching the phone. As she examined her face, she squinted her eyes into focus, bringing the phone screen progressively closer. “Here.” Itsuki stated as he reached over to retrieve Taniko’s glasses and placed them on her face. “These might help.” He then fixed bits of her hair to where they framed her face. “You really do look fine.”

“Are we going to have breakfast or what?” The quiet moment between the two was interrupted by Takumi, who was now laying on his stomach as he reached for the basketball that’d been left by Bunji. As soon as Takumi had the ball in his grasp he sat up before tossing it to Bunji. Bunji was still lying on his back in defeat. Stretching his arms upward he managed to catch the ball. Itsuki rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I hear you.” He then begrudgingly stood up and stretched his arms above his head, his shoulder joints making a popping sound in the process. “Let’s see what we got.” Grabbing his navy blue and black CoolBell branded messenger bag from on top of a pommel horse, he tossed it down to the mat as the group began to make a rough semi-circle. A small metal Sumikko Gurashi keychain of Tokage jangled from the bag as it hit the matting. Getting down on his knees, Itsuki then unzipped the bag. A disappointed look filled his eyes as the only thing he pulled out was a small bag of slightly salted potato chips.

“That’s all?” Taniko said in disbelief. Takumi quickly reached over and pulled the messenger bag closer to him. Peering in, all there was, was a few paperback textbooks, empty water bottle, cleaned out bento, and Itsuki’s wallet. “Well shit.”

“What!? You guys already had my bento and water. I don’t have anything else. I didn’t think I was going to end up in a stupid storage closet for days!”

Taniko placed a comforting hand on Itsuki’s back. “It’s fine. We’ll make do with what we have. We’ll figure something out.”

“She’s right.” Takumi added. “I think we’re all just frustrated and hungry. Let’s eat and after we can come up with a plan.”

As he took in a deep breath, Itsuki put his hand up to his forehead as if calming himself. “Yeah.” Picking up the bag of chips, he opened it and divided the chips equally among the four of them. As he doled out breakfast, Takumi eyed Bunji’s share. “Itsuki, do you mind handing me Bunji’s?”

Itsuki was caught off guard by the question. “What?”

“Please hand me Bunji’s chips.”

“Uh...” Itsuki looked from Takumi, to Bunji, and then to Taniko. Taniko shrugged. “Sure, why?” He asked as he handed the chips over to Takumi. Takumi didn’t answer. Instead, he took one of Bunji’s chips and ate it. Bunji, feeling absolutely confused, reached for the small pile of chips in front of Takumi. Takumi quickly swatted away Bunji’s hand and then proceeded to cup his own hands over the pile to block it from view. “Takumi what the fuck! Give him his chips!” Itsuki demanded.

“He needs to ask for them.”

Bunji paused before reaching once again for the chips, which he was met with Takumi batting him away.

“Come on he’s clearly hungry! Just give him the chips.”

“If he’s hungry then he’ll say it.”

Bunji sighed as he watched Takumi continue to eat away. “This is stupid! Here Bunji, you can have some of mine.” Itsuki said as he gestured the bag to him. Takumi intersected and quickly yanked the bag.

“Let him ask.”

Bunji waited a moment as he gritted his teeth. Two parts due to nervousness, and one part anger. He then leaned in close to Takumi’s ear to whisper. “Ca-ca-can I—“

“You need to be louder. Let Taniko and Itsuki hear you.”

Bunji furrowed his brow before picking up the basketball in his lap and moving to the other end of the mat. He turned his back to the group as he bounced the ball.

“You can be a real dick sometimes.” Itsuki mumbled in reference to Takumi.

Taniko, being the moral compass quickly reined in Itsuki’s statement. “Itsuki!”

“Sorry!” He paused. “Right, look Takumi, I know what you’re doing, and I get you’re trying to help him, but you can’t just force him. And now’s definitely not the time to stir up drama. We need to think about what we’re going to do.”

Taniko nodded. “He’ll talk when he’s ready.”

Takumi sighed deeply and pushed Bunji’s portion over to where he used to be seated. “Bunji, I’m sorry for being a jackass.” Although even after the apology the basketball still thumped against the wall.

“Bunji?”

Looking back, Takumi could see Bunji continuing to give the cold shoulder. “This is just sad.” Taniko said a matter of factly. Itsuki reached forward to take the chip bag from Takumi. “Looks like you really upset him.”

“I’m such an ass.” Feeling his heart sink, Takumi got up and walked over to Bunji. Stooping down, he put his arms around him as he perched his chin on Bunji’s shoulder. Catching the ball one last time Bunji placed the ball in-between his knees.

“Bunny, I’m really sorry.”

Bunji smiled. Takumi knew exactly how to push his buttons to get him to laugh. One way being, calling him Bunny. It always seemed to put a smile on his face, although if you called him Bunny out in public he’d pretend not to hear.

“I’m sorry if I pressured you too much. I just wish ya shared your voice with Itsuki and Taniko, cuz I think it’s nice. They deserve to hear it. I know you think your stutter’s bad, but I love it. But it’s okay if ya don’t wanna talk.” Takumi then buried his face into Bunji’s neck, feeling the warmth from his skin. “Kay Bunny? You don’t have to talk.”

Bunji leaned his head on Takumi after nodding to let him know he understood.

“You two done cuddling? Did you make up yet? Can we eat?” Itsuki asked from across the room. Takumi pulled away and unfolded the embrace. “Your chips are waiting for you.” He then got up and made his way back over to his spot. Bunji followed suit, albeit very slowly. Putting the basketball under his stomach to mimic a yoga ball, he eventually rolled himself to the other side of the tumble-mat where the others were seated. As the group finished up the handful of chips they called a breakfast, everyone grew silent at the inevitable discussion that loomed overhead.

“Okay everyone, what are we gonna do about this?” Itsuki then shook the empty chip bag to emphasize his point. No one said a word till Taniko made a proposal. “Well we could—“ She went quiet once all eyes were on her.

“What were you going to say? There’s no bad ideas.” Coaxed Itsuki. “Um, well...” Taniko continued as she adjusted her shirt collar. “We could go out to the main building. We’ll probably find other people and get more food and water.”

“I guess we can do that.” Takumi agreed.

Itsuki grew concerned. “We can’t just rush into anything though. We don’t know how bad things are. Let’s go check out the gym first, stretch our legs, make a plan, and think things over.”

“Okay, so who’s going to open the door?” After Takumi’s question all eyes fell to Itsuki. “Guess, it’ll be me.” Itsuki then rose and walked over to the large sliding door. Putting his fingers in the handle, he pulled and slid the door to the left. It was a lot heavier than he remembered, but closing a door was a lot easier to do than opening it, plus he no longer had the aid of adrenaline flooding his body. After pushing the door open Itsuki stepped aside. The door opened out into a large basketball court. The only light being from the narrow windows that traced the left and right walls of the gym. To the right of the closet door stood a stage closed-off with thick wine curtains. To the left, the gym’s front door entrance. “It looks fine.” Itsuki then walked over to his bag and took a seat back on the matting. “You guys go stretch your legs. I’ll be a minute.”

Bunji was the first to get up and leave, rushing out the door with ball in hand. “And there he goes.” Taniko’s tone was one of an older sister trying to rein-in a hyperactive little brother. ”I’ll go walk a few laps around the gym.” And soon, it was just the two boys left in the storage closet. Neither of them spoke, letting the air be filled with the sounds of a dribbling basketball hitting the oak flooring of the court. Itsuki, wearing an apprehensive look, slowly gathered up his things. As he picked up his phone he stared at the screen.

“Yeah, I miss the internet too.”

Itsuki looked up to Takumi.

“No, that’s not why I’m -“

He quickly stared back down at his phone. ”I’m just, worried. All I want to know is if my family’s okay.”

“I’m sure they’re fine. I think it was just the school that was locked down. Someone’ll come to get us once they know it’s safe and we’ll go home.”

“If that was true then don’t you think someone would’ve come by now?”

“Yeah but—“

“Be logical about this, we all saw how much of a shit-show it was in India. If that stuff starts spreading here then...” Itsuki sighed as he put his phone into the bag. “I read the news ping before my cell kicked the bucket. If it was accurate, then three of the eight escapees came here. Which means there’s probably a lot more people, and places effected other than just the school.”

Takumi got down to Itsuki’s level and took a seat next to him. “Come on, don’t be so pessimistic. The police or defense are probably taking care of it right now.”

“It’s not being pessimistic. It’s realistic.”

“Itsuki, look at it this way. This is a crappy situation for everyone and we’re all scared. But if we sit around talking about how bad or hopeless things are, then we aren’t going to get anywhere. We need to stay positive right now. Your parents and Hina are probably just stuck at home waiting for you. And you even have Taniko here. Things’ll be fine.”

Itsuki bobbed his head. “Yeah, I get it.” He then zipped up his bag before laying his head down on it. “Can you go out with the others, please. I need some space right now.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you be.” Takumi said. He then gave Itsuki a quick pat on the back before picking up both his and Bunji’s dark navy-blue slipper indoor shoes and leaving the room. Once outside the closet Takumi took a seat on the floor near a wall and slipped on his shoes. “Bunji, shoes!” He called as he tossed the other pair on the ground. The rubber soles of the open-toed shoes making a loud slapping noise as they hit. Bunji rushed over, dribbling the ball as he came. He quickly took a seat on the floor and placed the basketball beside him. As the two put on their shoes, Takumi spoke. “Try pacing yourself okay? You need to conserve some energy.”

“Yeah-yeah.”

As Bunji adjusted his right shoe, Takumi reached and tapped the wide foot-band of his friend’s shoe with his pointer finger to get his attention. “Bunny, I’m still really, really sorry.”

Bunji stared at Takumi for a moment before giving a cheeky side smile and passing him the ball.

“Why’d ya—“

He then stood in a block stance, placing himself in front of Takumi. His gate wide and arms stretched out.

“Ah okay, I get you hot shot.” Takumi got to his feet as he started bouncing the ball. “Think you can kick my ass, huh?”

Bunji nodded enthusiastically.

“Show me what ya got then!” Takumi quickly side-stepped around Bunji, almost knocking him over. As he ran across the court Bunji followed quickly behind. Picking up speed and moving in front of Takumi, Bunji snatched the ball before aiming to take a shot. Just when he was about to shoot, Taniko swooped in. “Suck it!” She shouted as she grabbed the ball. Holding the ball tightly, she slid onto the wooden floor on her knees. The three of them caught their breath as Itsuki exited the storage room with his bag over his shoulder and a blue metal baseball bat in his hand.

“What’s with the bat?” Takumi asked.

“In case we run into a monkey.”

“Chimpanzee.” Taniko corrected.

“What?”

“They don’t do bio-med tests on monkeys.” She continued as she got up from the floor.

“So, we’re just going to beat a mo-chimp if it comes at us?” Takumi butted in. “Isn’t that a little risky? What if we have to split up, who gets the bat? What if there’s more than one chimp? What if we’re not all strong or fast enough to kill it?”

“Takumi has a point. Plus W-H-O said you’re supposed to keep your distance with animals or people that have RALYVI. A bat doesn’t allow that much distance.”

Itsuki took a deep calming breath. “Alright, what about...” He peered around the gym when he caught sight of the aluminum sasumata that hung on the right wall. He walked over to Bunji and handed him the bat before unhooking the catchpole from its fixture.

“Do you even know how to use it?” Taniko asked as she approached him. Takumi along with Bunji followed behind. “Yeah only the teachers know how.” Takumi stated.

“You guys have seen samurai stuff before. It’s not that hard.”

“Dude, Itsuki, a feudal man-catcher isn’t the same as, that. We’re not in the Edo Period.”

“No no, it works pretty much the same. Here, step over here with me. Time for a man-catcher lesson.” Itsuki said as he gestured for Takumi to come closer. Takumi stepped forward, however nervously as Itsuki pointed the pronged jaws of the sasumata in his direction. “Alright, so if you have a person coming at you, or you want to keep someone away or restrain them, there are three main areas you want to aim for. Neck, torso, and uh...that joint place that connects your upper and lower leg; like the back of the knee.”

“The popliteal fossa.” Taniko corrected once again.

“And the pople, poplet, pop— I give up, I’m saying kneepit!”

“Why kneepit?”

“Your arms have a pit, why not your knees?”

“Clever.”

Itsuki focused once again. “Okay, you guys take note of this. Neck, torso, kneepit. He then directed the jaws up toward Takumi’s neck. “Aim for the neck if you want to restrain the person’s head movement, or you can’t get a grip on their torso.” He then lowered the catcher to Takumi’s waist. “The torso should be your number one spot most of the time. It restricts the person from running or getting too close to you.” Finally Takumi’s knees. “If you want to restrain the person’s kicking, or you want to trip them, aim for the kneepit. Now once you grab the person-“ He then quickly moved the man-catcher up to Takumi’s lower chest and lunged forward. Takumi quickly backed up out of reflex. Even Bunji let out a small gasp of surprise.

“No it’s fine, it won’t hurt, promise. It’s just going to lock in place. Here, lift your arms.”

Takumi hesitantly took a step forward and lifted his arms upward. Itsuki lurched forward once more, placing the metal jaws around Takumi’s waist. “Now, if you release the button.” Takumi could feel the jaws tighten and snap into place around him. “Alright Takumi, try to pull it off.”

Takumi then reached for the metal arms that gripped around him and tried to pull, but nothing. The only thing pulling did was cause him pain as the metal brushed against his skin. “Damn-it, Itsuki!” He shouted out of frustration.

“That’s enough, you’re doing great. Now lay flat on the ground.”

Working as a team, Itsuki lowered the catchpole as Takumi squatted down before finally sprawling himself on the ground. Applying more pressure as he raised the catcher to a 75-degree angle, Itsuki pinned Takumi to the floor. “Once you have the person locked in, the key is to pin them either against the ground or a wall. Step in with your left leg, and use your back leg for support when you’re trying to keep the person in place. And when you’re ready to release.” He pushed up the button at the end of the long handle and the jaws opened. “Alright you’re free to go.”

Takumi stood himself up as Taniko tucked the ball under her arm and began to clap. “I’m impressed! That was a pretty good demonstration.”

“You wanna give it a try?” Itsuki then gestured the catchpole out to her.

“Sure, why not.” Taniko tossed the basketball over to Takumi and then took the catcher in her hands. Adjusting her grip on the handle, she took a few steps away from Itsuki and then turned back to face him.

“Now remember, neck, tor—“

Itsuki’s reminder was cut short. At full force, Taniko took a running start before snapping the metal arms around Itsuki’s mid-section and slammed him into the wall. He coughed as he felt the wind get knocked out of him. “G-good, practice.” He managed to chuff out.

Taniko wore a coy smile. “A reminder not to get on my bad side.”

Itsuki chuckled. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Glad to hear it.” Taniko then walked up and kissed Itsuki tenderly on the cheek before freeing him. Itsuki took a moment to catch his breath as he bent over with his hands on his knees. As he composed himself he gestured to Bunji who held the bat over his shoulder. “Bat’s for chimps.” Then to the catchpole. “Man-catcher, people.”

“I didn’t mess you up too much, right Itsuki?” Taniko said jokingly. Itsuki huffed. “No I’m fine.” He cleared his throat as he readjusted his bag’s strap over his shoulder and stood up. “Okay so, we have the bag, bat, man-catcher. If things get bad we can always head back here. Did I miss anything? Everybody ready?” Everyone nodded and let out cheers of agreement and excitement at the prospect of being able to go outside for the first time in three days. “Alright, let’s blow this popsicle stand!” As Itsuki leaded the way out the gym, Takumi turned to Bunji. “Time to say goodbye to your friend.” He teased as he traded Bunji the ball for the bat. Bunji took a moment to hold the basketball steadily in his hands before turning himself away from the doors. Taking a few steps forward, he launched the ball into the air before drop-kicking it across the gym and turned back to the group, all while trying to keep in a laugh. He then rushed up to his friends before the quartet made their way out the gym doors.

The sunlight pierced Takumi’s eyes, blinding him for a split second as he walked down the gym’s walkway that faced the school’s parking lot and bike cover. The lot sat almost completely vacant, the exception being a few abandoned bikes and cars. Itsuki turned left, leading the group down the sidewalk toward the three-story building. As they drew closer the silence became increasingly more concerning. Even though no one said a word, the friends braced themselves for the best, and worst outcome. Making a right and continuing straight to the school’s front entrance, they could see the main building’s shadow overcast the walkway as the morning sun gleamed. Within the shadow, just before the short three steps leading up to the entrance, laid the disfigured bloated body of their P.E. coach, Mr. Totsuka. His now yellow tinted skin being blotched with blackish spots, left eye gouged out, deep lacerations on his cheeks, and missing both his middle and index finger, he was left almost unrecognizable. Itsuki stopped first and quickly looked away from the body, directing his gaze downward. “Let’s go back!” Taniko screamed as she turned around to see Bunji and Takumi, Itsuki and Taniko obscuring Mr. Totsuka from view. Itsuki took a few rugged breaths that were so violent, the rest of the group could see his whole upper body rise and fall with every breath. “This is why I said I wanted to prepare for the worst. Just don’t look. There’s probably people inside and we still need the water, and food, bathroom breaks, supplies. I’ll go in first, you guys just look down.” Takumi and Bunji quickly complied out of fear. They couldn’t see whatever it was, but they could smell the hard to pinpoint scent of death. Taniko on the other hand kept her eyes fixated on the gym building as she stared past the two boys. She then tightened her grip on the catchpole before replying with. “Alright.”

Art done by — InktMasht (Thank You So Much Buddy!)

NOTE— Please open picture in new tab to see full illustration

  
Itsuki took one last breath before holding it and focusing his sight to the school entrance doors three meters away. Once he had his fingers on the metal handle, he pulled the door open and hurried inside. As expected, the mud room which was typically filled with the hurried shuffle of students changing shoes was now empty. It would have been pitch black if it weren’t for the glass door and windows letting in light. Rows of shoe-lockers stayed stagnant, some being left open as the outcome of fleeing students, others still kept locked. After glimpsing around the entrance, he propped the leftmost door with his foot and poked his head out to the others. “Okay, it’s fine. You guys just keep looking down and follow my voice, don’t look up.” Taniko turned slowly around to face in the direction of the doors with her head lowered. She hurriedly jogged inside as the other two boys followed after.  
  


  
As the four of them gathered inside they all rested against the steel grey shoe-lockers. Takumi spoke with shaky breath. “That was Coach.” Everyone was eerily silent as they let Takumi’s statement linger. Although the silence was eventually broken when Taniko began looking up and down the row for her nameplate. After stopping at the top row, third to last column of lockers she exhaled with relief as she set the catchpole down. “What are you doing?” Itsuki asked somewhat hushed.

“Putting on my regular shoes. I’m not staying in these things anymore! My feet are killing me and if I need to run I don’t want to worry about slipping out my shoes.”

“You make a good point.”

“But what if we get in trouble?” Takumi asked as he set the bat against the lockers.

“I don’t think normal etiquette applies right now!” Taniko snapped.

“Right...”

Soon the four students began searching for their respective locker and putting on their everyday shoes, bringing more life to the room. It took Takumi sometime to lace up his blue, orange, and black basketball shoes to where they hugged his feet, although ironically, despite owning a pair of Nike sports shoes he never actually played sports; buying them only for the look. Being active and playing things like basketball were more of Bunji’s strong suits. Looking over to the right, Takumi could see Bunji slipping on his pair of white high-top Converse. Seeing the shoes brought back a fond memory from the year prior. While visiting Bunji’s house on the weekend, the boys sat around the living room playing on the PlayStation 5 as Bunji’s cat, Ham, would occasionally bat at the screen. Mrs. Sasaki instructing the pair to turn down the sound because it might wake Shouta from his afternoon nap. As they were about to turn off the game, Bunji’s father came home from running errands, giving his son a new pair of sneakers since the current pair were practically falling apart. However, unlike the old shoes, the new ones were blank, nothing but pure white. Seeing his other half somewhat unhappy with the bland look of the Converse, Takumi thought up an idea. The shoes were a canvas for them to draw on. Sitting in the mudroom with sharpies, the two drew random doodles on the shoes’ fabric. Takumi topping his off with a big smiley face on the side of the left shoe.

There was a loud clang on the opposite side of the lockers that echoed throughout the school’s mudroom. Takumi almost reached for the bat but then paused once he realized he no longer had it. “I’m okay!” Taniko reassured everyone. “What was that?” Itsuki asked as he rushed over from his locker to Taniko, shoes only halfway on his feet.

“I just knocked the bat over.”

Itsuki took the bat from Taniko and helped her up. Takumi stood as Itsuki walked over to give him back ownership of the bat. “You left this.” Taniko came up behind him with the catchpole back in her hands, her bright sky blue and neon pink sugar skull printed converse with BITE ME in black English lettering became more apparent as she stepped into the light. As Takumi took the bat from Itsuki he looked down to see Itsuki wearing the typical uniform shoes, black loafers. Takumi found this odd. The Kinoshitas were well-off. Why not wear flashy high-end shoes, boast a little, at least that’s what Takumi would’ve done if he was in Itsuki’s position. Buying the school uniform shoes was like saying you were too embarrassed to show your unfashionable or old shoes in Takumi’s eyes. Although once they got to school the shoes didn’t matter since everyone would switch into their slip-ons anyway, but if Takumi were seen walking to and from school he made sure to put his best foot forward when it came to his choice of footwear. Even if it was something minor, it was something people picked up on. And Itsuki being big on appearances, Takumi assumed he’d wear something at least a little flashy.

“You bought the school shoes?” Takumi asked curiously.

“Yeah, why? They look fine right?”

“Nah they look fine! I was just wondering beca—“

“My mom made me buy them. It wasn’t my choice, trust me. She said she didn’t want me wearing my good shoes to and from school every day.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah well, my parents are about good appearance, not showboating.”

Taniko snickered. “But you are a showboat.”

“Not funny.”

Now that he mentioned it, Takumi began to realize how apparent that good appearance statement was. Itsuki always wore his uniform to the T. Shirt tucked in, collar all the way buttoned up, belt, short sleek haircut. The epitome of a model looking student.

“Okay so, now what’s the plan? What do you guys want to do?” Itsuki said as the group became more serious once again. Taniko took a moment to think. “What if we split up? We can cover more ground that way.”

“Hell no!” Takumi said loudly. Everyone was taken back by the sudden shout. He himself was even surprised by how harsh it sounded. “Splitting up sounds dangerous. What if one of us needs help? What if one of us finds a teacher or another student but the others don’t?”

Itsuki sighed with frustration as he brushed his greasy hair over. “What about a compromise. We split up into teams of two, and we all stay on the ground floor, no one goes up till we get back together. Me and Taniko can take the south side, and you and Bunji take north. We’ll meet up here if we find something or need to regroup.”

“Ehh, I guess that sounds doable. What do you think Bunji?”

Bunji, who sat on the floor with his back against the lockers, arms folded on his knees, looked up and gave a quick nod. He seemed like an odd mixture of terrified and detached toward the situation.

“Well it’s settled then. You guys keep the bat, and me and Taniko get the man-catcher.”

And just like that, the two boys were left alone.

“Guess we should get goin, huh Bun?”

After walking down the dim hallway, Taniko and Itsuki found themselves in the school’s chemistry lab. As Itsuki slid the door open he was hit with a wave of humidity. Long black topped science tables with white basin sinks built into them, were lined with beakers filled with small amounts of what looked like foggy water. Eye goggles and thermometers had been left hastily strone about. On the blackboard, the chemical formula for sodium acetate was written in white chalk. Against the back wall were pinned photos of students holding a teacher’s pet tarantula from the semester prior, and a large periodic table poster. A small group of sapling plants took up the very back science table that had gone unused, a water bottle left beside them. “No one here.” Itsuki stated as he walked down the rows of tables. As he walked his shoe hit a pile of broken glass. He stopped instantly. A beaker had been knocked off the table and subsequently broke onto the floor, the cloudy liquid pooling around the shards. Out of fear of the unknown substance, Itsuki quickly jerked his foot away and winced. “Relax, it’s just baking soda and vinegar mixed together.” Taniko reassured from the front of the room.

Itsuki turned back to see her standing by the blackboard. “How do you know?!”

“Na is sodium, NaHCO₃ means specifically baking soda, and CH₃COOH is vinegar. it’s not harmful.” Taniko explained pointing at the board.

Feeling embarrassed by his overreaction, Itsuki replied with a bashful, “Oh.” He then continued to explore the room, settling himself over to the saplings. Seeing the sunlight strike the evergreens, he paused. Memories of his mother flooded his mind.

‘Mommy, why don’t you play with me?’

He had asked this at the age of four. It sprouted from how his busy father was hardly around, and with a mother, while good and attentive at heart, was still gripped by the grief of loss. She took comfort in talking to a potted tree that she planted a year prior to Itsuki’s birth.

“Aw no, Sweetheart.’

His mother picked the four-year-old up and placed him in her lap. Itsuki was able to get full sight of the small tree sitting on the table.

“Mommy loves you.”

“You always play with the tree, not me.’

“It’s not just a tree. It’s Kenta.’

Itsuki stared, trying to find what his mother saw.

“Mmm, it’s a tree.”

“It lets us know that, when old life dies, they’ll always be new life.”

His mother then sighed slightly with a smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around him.

“You’ll understand when you’re older.”

And she was right. It was not until the age of twelve did he realize that the tree his mother spoke to and took such care in, even before Itsuki was born, was a sentiment to the potential older brother he never knew he had.

Itsuki excitedly picked up the Clear Water branded water bottle and smiled. He was going to shout over to Taniko about his finding but he stopped himself. As he turned his head he could see her walk over to the collage of student photos on the back wall.

“They look so happy.”

Itsuki’s smile then faded into a frown. He stuffed the bottle into his bag before walking over to Taniko and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Wow that guy’s massive! I bet one day we could get to hold one.” He said in reference to the spider. Taniko was quiet as she stepped away from him, placed the catcher against the wall, and unpinned one of the photos. It was of two girls. One girl with a short pixie cut held the tarantula on her arm as she made a terrified face, while her friend, the other girl with her hair loosely up in a messy bun stood in the background laughing.

“Do you know them?” Itsuki asked. Taniko stared down at the picture in her hands. “No. I just want to look at it. I might keep it, like a souvenir.” Itsuki looked down slightly out of uncomfortableness, unsure of what to say. “Alright. I think I’m going to head to the bathroom. Do you need to go?” Taniko shook her head.

“Okay, well try to go while we’re here. I’ll be right back. Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Yeah. You go do what you have to do. I’ll be here.”

“Alright.” Itsuki stepped over and gave Taniko a soft kiss on the forehead. “Cheer up, don’t let this stuff get to you. We’ll be fine.”

“I know.”

“Empty.” Takumi said disappointedly. All the classrooms they’d come across were vacant, however as Bunji stepped into the room he could tell something was very different. All of the desks had been placed around the back-right corner, almost like a barricade. Past the blockade of desks lied a white heap on the floor. Papers and textbooks were randomly scattered around. “Careful.” Takumi warned.

“The-there’s som-thing over there.”

As Bunji went further in the room, Takumi kept himself planted in the doorway. Moving two of the desks, Bunji could now more clearly see the figure. It was a boy draped in a white window curtain. The fabric near the face caked in brown dried blood. The only part of him that was visible was his ankles and outside gym shoes. Bunji bent down and stared at the body. He was hesitant, but eventually he went to go reach to peel back the curtain till.

“Don’t!”

Bunji lurched back and turned to Takumi.

“Just, don’t.”

A cockroach weaseled its way from under the curtain as the room stayed quiet. Both boys stared back at each other till Bunji decided to get up and walk over to the opposite side of the room to sit down.

“Hey it’s okay. I just think it’s better we don’t see who it is. Things like this, sometimes, it’s better you not know.” Takumi then walked over and gave Bunji a hand up. “Come on, let’s keep looking.”

Itsuki’s footsteps echoed off the bathroom walls as he entered. Looking around the bathroom seemed normal, stalls to the right, urinals to the left, followed by the porcelain sinks, the one exception being one closed off stall door. Being the first sign of other human life he’d come across, Itsuki was hopeful and intrigued, well, as intrigued as one could be by an occupied bathroom stall.

“Hello? Is anyone else here?”

He wasn’t met back with any verbal response, although the confirmation he did get was a very faint gurgling groan,

“Hello?”

Itsuki knocked on the stall door, however he was surprised to find that the door creeped open. It’d only been propped closed, never actually locked. As he peeked in the stall he found a boy laying propped up against the wall, sunken eyes, pale skin, and frothy drool dribbling down his neck.

“Wa-wat...”

“Water? You want water?” Itsuki asked frantically as he pulled the water bottle from his bag and knelt down. “Here!”

The boy quickly jerked away as if terrified of the water. He let out something that resembled a scream, however the only thing that managed to come out was a gargled gasp.

“No it’s alright! I won’t hurt you.”

The boy, being almost animalistic, spat in Itsuki’s face before scrambling over to the corner of the stall. Itsuki shouted with shock as he wiped the spit from his face. “What the fuck!” He said this more to himself out of aggravation, and less in regard to the boy.

“Itsuki, you okay? I heard a scream.” Taniko yelled from the hall.

Itsuki turned his head in the direction of the doorway. “Yeah I’m fine! I just fou—“ His sentence was cut short as the boy rushed over, attempting to tackle him and began digging his nails into the fabric of Itsuki’s uniform shirt.

“Get off! Taniko, help!”

Taniko rushed in, catchpole at the ready. Using all her strength, she used the blunt handle of the catcher to hit the attacker repeatedly in the head as Itsuki pushed him off. The boy fell over to one side and began seizing on the floor. “Leave him!” Taniko screamed as she hurried Itsuki out the bathroom. In an instant the two stood in the hallway, backs glued to the wall as they caught their breath. “You okay?” Taniko asked.

“Yeah, yeah I think so.”

“What even happened?”

“I don-don’t know. I heard him in the bathroom and he asked for water. So I offered him some, and he freaked out and spit in my face. Then you asked if I was okay and he fucking attacked me.”

Taniko backed away from Itsuki wide eyed. “Itsuki why!”

“What?”

“Why did you!” Taniko’s face was now red. “Why’d you do that! Why’d you let him spit on you!”

“What was I supposed to do?! Oh sorry dude begging for water, I’ll just ignore you!”

“Do you even know how RALYVI is passed on!”

“He didn’t bite me, calm down!”

“It’s a rabies virus!”

“Exactly, did you not hear me? He, did, not, bite, me.”

“It’s not about the bite! It’s the saliva!”

“Woah, what’s going on?” Takumi yelled as him and Bunji approached the quarreling couple. Taniko and Itsuki were both quiet as Takumi tried to observe the situation. Looking to Taniko, her face boiling over with anger as she held the catcher so tightly her knuckles were white. Itsuki was another story, his face ghostly pale, and looking at his pants Takumi could tell itsuki’d wet himself.

“Holy shit, what happened?”

Taniko turned to Takumi and pointed at Itsuki. “There was another guy in the bathroom, and Itsuki was attacked!”

Takumi glanced back and forth between the two. Taniko red hot and Itsuki being in horror. “Itsuki, please don’t tell me you...” There was no response. “Shit...”

“This wouldn’t have happened if Itsuki wasn’t such a moron!” Taniko screamed trying to keep herself from crying. Now even Takumi was beginning to get heated from Taniko’s statement. Afraid of what he might do, Takumi handed the bat over to Bunji and began yelling in her face. “You’re the moron! If you listened to me then this wouldn’t have happened! But no, we had to go with your idea and split up because Itsuki only listens to his morbid know-at-all girlfriend who strokes his huge-ass ego like his cock!”

“You absolute asshole!”

“Shu-SHUT UP!” Bunji screamed as he swung the bat at the wall to get everyone’s attention. The group fell silent. “Le-le-let,s, just, ca-lm down.”

Itsuki and Taniko looked over to Bunji in surprise. Taniko was the first to speak. “Did you just ta—“

“Yes, he did!” Takumi interrupted. “But that doesn’t matter. Right now we need to figure out what we’re going to do about Itsuki!”

Taniko took in a deep breath and counted to five before exhaling. “Okay. Well, he may not even be infected, but we won’t know till a few hours. That’s when people usually start showing symptoms.”

“Just to be safe, no one touches Itsuki.”

“What about the nurse’s office.” Itsuki spoke up. “We can isolate me there till we find out. Plus there’s medical supplies.”

No one disagreed, coming to the unanimous decision to head to the nurse’s office.

Taking a seat on the floor outside the office door, Taniko sat next to Bunji as she loosened her blue bow around her neck, keeping their distance from Itsuki. Taniko looked a mess, tears falling down her cheeks as Bunji offered her his shoulder. She took her glasses off to wipe her eyes. “I’m going to be fine.” Itsuki assured. “Okay I’ll go in first and scope things out. You guys stay out here.” Takumi then went to go open the door and stepped inside.

Closing the door behind him, he froze at what he saw. It didn’t quite register in his mind at first, but after a few moments his brain finally caught up with his eyes. To his horror, the nurse was suspended motionless in the air, an electric cord around her neck. He turned to his right to look away from the hanging body, only to see the two infirmary beds, one of them being used. It was a girl Takumi recognized. Emi Kaihatsu, she was a popular girl, although it wasn’t due to her looks or even accomplishments. She was good looking, but she was cute rather than sexy, often causing guys to be uninterested. And of course she was in the girls’ tennis club but she was an average player at best. The only reason for her notoriety among the student body was the fact her mother was the nurse. Although none of that seemed to matter now. Now, she laid dead, eyes wide, her hands tied down with ace bandages, and dried saliva coated her face. He wanted to do something for her. Untie her hands, or close her eyes, or even just simply putting a blanket over her, but out of fear, all he could manage to do was say, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” as he closed the privacy curtain. He then wrapped his arms around himself and buried his fingernails into his shoulders; feeling the nails dig through the fabric of his uniform shirt and down to his skin.

“Hell...okay, it’s okay. I just need to stay calm. What would Itsuki do?”

After a moment Takumi went to go look back over to the nurse. “You probably did your best to save her, and everyone else. You were a good mom to Emi, and the rest of us.” Takumi said as he lowered his head in respect. Mrs. Kaihatsu was a very nurturing lady, always being hospitable and tender to anyone who came into the office. Her bright smile greeting every student, no matter if it was taking a prescription, bumped head, or feeling sick, she was always there to help. But for Takumi it went beyond just that. She was the first adult he’d ever completely confided in when, at the time in his first year, he had trouble even admitting his feelings to himself. And all because she wore a rainbow pin. He found it kind of arbitrary, but when he did finally sit down and talk with her, it felt freeing. As if her actually taking the time to listen and handing him that pamphlet screamed out to him, saying ‘You’re Not Alone Anymore’.

After the kind words, he began to examine the area. If he stood on the table in the middle of the room, he would be close enough to untie the cord and get Mrs. Kaihatsu down. Although once he did untie the body, Takumi knew he wouldn’t be able to pick her up.

Takumi poked his head out of the nurse office’s door and into the hallway. He looked over the group. He couldn’t ask Itsuki to help, and Taniko was incredibly distraught, who knows what seeing the nurse’s body might do. That left Takumi with only one option.

“Bunji can I see you for a minute.”

Bunji looked up at Takumi a bit confused but never the less got up.

“Wait!” Takumi quickly hushed his voice. “Before you come in, close your eyes. I’ll tell you when you can look once you’re inside.”

Bunji now looked more confused, but not wanting to argue or ask questions, he complied and was guided in by Takumi.

“Okay, so before you open your eyes, I want you to prepare yourself. I’m going to try to put this as gently as I can.”

Bunji nodded.

“So, the nurse, took her life. She’s hanging and I need help getting her down and moving her over to the open bed, okay?”

“Wh-What!” Bunji snapped open his eyes. The first thing he saw being the nurse’s dangling feet. He screamed and backed himself up to the wall, and then sinked himself down to the ground, curling into a ball.

“No, no no, it’s okay I promise! Don’t freak out! I just need your help.”

“A-a few minutes ag-ago you said na-not to look! Now yo-you’re say—“

“This is different Bunji. We have to do this so we can let the others in here without them freaking out. We can do it, don’t worry. We’re just carrying her. Just think of it as, helping her to her bed for a nap.”

“No!”

Takumi crouched down and put his arms around him. “I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. But this needs to get done. Do it for Itsuki, and Taniko, and me. I promise I’ll be right here with you.”

After some time of coaxing, Takumi managed to convince Bunji to help. Takumi stood up on the table trying to untie the cord from a ceiling fixture, while Bunji stood waiting to help carry the body. As Takumi loosened the knot he put an arm around the nurse’s abdomen. “Okay, get ready to catch if I end up dropping her.” He then untied the knot completely before lowering the body slowly as he got off the table. To Takumi’s surprise, the body was stiff and not nearly as moveable as he expected. As he let down the body he sprawled out Mrs. Kaihatsu on the floor. Stooping down, he then began to undo the cord from around her neck. As he removed it he could see how tightly it had been wrapped, leaving deep red marks and bruising. After the electrical cord was completely off, the boys then took hold and lifted the body up, Takumi taking the upper body, and Bunji grabbing the legs. Gradually making their way over to the bed, Bunji let out a huff as they finally laid her down, covered her with a blanket, and closed the curtain. The two boys both in shock, Bunji turned to Takumi and reached for a hug. Takumi obliged and they stood interlocked as they comforted each-other, the only sound being their own racing heartbeats.

“You-er sha-shaking.”

“Am I?” Takumi hadn’t noticed. Bunji took hold of his hand in his.

“Hey, le-let’s play shi-shiritori.”

“Yeah, good idea. Shiritori sounds fun.” Takumi took a quick breath. “I’ll start.” He took a moment to think of a word.

“Apple.”

“Ela-elaphant.”

“Tank.”

“Ki-kite.”

“Textbook.”

Bunji let out a slight chuckle. “I sa-said kite.”

“Yeah, T.”

“Ki-kite ends i-I-in E, silly.”

“Oh yeah! Man, I’m stupid.” Takumi smiled as he parted from the hug. “Come on, let’s let the others in.”

After switching on the light, they invited Taniko and Itsuki into the room. The pair looked around. To them, all seemed normal, unaware of what the other two had just endured. Taniko carried in the bat and catcher before leaving them against the wall. Itsuki walked around the office, coming across the small bathroom towards the corner of the room.

“I could stay in here.”

The rest of the friends looked over. “You sure? It’s cramped in there.” Takumi said. Itsuki strongly nodded. Everyone was quiet once they realized what this now meant. The group gathered around the bathroom door. Taniko was the one most clearly upset. She wanted to give Itsuki a kiss, or a long hug at the very least, but due to the potential virus she couldn’t even do that. Itsuki had to show restraint. Taking off his bag, he sat it on the floor and kicked it over to Taniko.

“Watch it for me while I’m gone.”

Takumi opened the bathroom door, waiting till Itsuki was ready to walk in. To everyone, they all held out hope that he’d be alright. That he wouldn’t be infected and they’d get to go home together. Because of that, there was no dramatic goodbyes, only see ya laters. No crying. No sadness. Only hope. Although, Itsuki was never one to cry, Takumi could have sworn he saw a tear roll down Itsuki’s face as the door closed.

Because deep down...

He probably knew he’d gotten his death sentence.

。 。 。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOREIGN WORD GLOSSARY 
> 
> Futon — A futon is a Japanese quilted mattress rolled out on the floor for use as a bed.
> 
> Bento — A bento is a Japanese-style packed lunch, consisting of such items as rice, vegetables, and sashimi (raw fish with condiments).
> 
> Sumikko Gurashi — Sumikko Gurashi is a set of fictional characters produced by the Japanese company San-X. The name roughly translates to “life in the corner”.
> 
> Tokage — Tokage, the third Sumikko character created. Tokage (とかげ) is an aquatic dinosaur who poses as a lizard to avoid being captured.
> 
> W-H-O — World Health Organization (WHO) is a part of the United Nations that deals with major health issues around the world. The World Health Organization sets standards for disease control, health care, and medicines; conducts education and research programs; and publishes scientific papers and reports.
> 
> Sasumata — Samurai police in the Edo period used the sasumata to restrain and arrest suspected criminals uninjured. The head of the sasumata would be used to catch around the neck, arms, legs, or joints of a suspect and detain him until officers could close in and apprehend him. The sasumata had a long hardwood pole usually around two meters in length with sharp barbs or spines attached to metal strips on one end of the pole to keep the person being captured from grabbing the pole. The opposite end of the sasumata pole would often have a metal cap, Today, a modern version of the sasumata is still occasionally used by the police and as a self-defense tool. These modern sasumata are often made of aluminum, without the sharpened blades and spikes found on their medieval counterparts. They have been marketed to schools due to a growing fear of classroom invasions. 
> 
> Hioki City — Hioki (日置市) is a city in Kagoshima Prefecture, Japan. The modern city of Hioki was established on May 1, 2005, from the merger of the towns of Fukiage, Higashiichiki, Hiyoshi and Ijūin (all from Hioki District).
> 
> Edo Period — The Edo period (江戸時代) or Tokugawa period (德川時代) is the period between 1603 and 1868 in the history of Japan, when Japan was under the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate and the country's 300 regional daimyō. The Edo period was characterized by economic growth, strict social order, isolationist foreign policies, a stable population, peace time, and popular enjoyment of arts and culture.
> 
> Shiritori — Shiritori (しりとり) is a Japanese word game in which the players are required to say a word which begins with the final kana (letter) of the previous word. "Shiritori" literally means "taking the end" or "taking the rear".


	2. Rainbow Dragonfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three remaining Azaleas are given shelter by a kind young lady, but a change of scenery won't keep their pasts from creeping up to them.

**CHAPTER 2**

  


Artwork done by — InktMasht (Thank You So Much, love ya buddy) 

NOTE - Please open image in new tab to see full illustration

“Hey Little Dragonfly.”

Taniko jumped slightly as she heard Itsuki whisper from behind her back. She looked up from her book, Shizuko’s Daughter by Kyoko Mori, and smiled.

“Ssh don’t call me that at school.”

“Why not? I thought you liked it when I called you Dragonfly.” Itsuki said softly as he took a seat across from his girlfriend.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in gym?”

“Coach let me out early so I could work on my English assignment.”

“You just came to see me didn’t you. You’re not going to get any work done.”

Itsuki placed a hand over his heart and put on a somewhat dramatic act. “I’m hurt. Me, ditching class, do I look like a delinquent to you?” He then smiled coyly. “Well you’re right.”

Taniko put a finger up to her mouth. “Can you cool it with the dramatics. Library, remember.” She then went back to reading. “This is why you didn’t get into Ikueikan.”

“Alright, alright. But seriously, I’m working on my speech.” Itsuki set his bag on the ground next to his chair after taking out a single sheet of paper. “I’m doing it on a poem.”

“Oh boy, what is it.”

“It’s originally in English, but it reminded me of you. So I found a translation online. Still need to memorize the English though when I read it in front of the class, which is going to be a big pain in the butt.” He cleared his throat. “Okay, just listen...”

Taniko kept the palms of her hands tightly pressed to her ears as she was snapped from her memory. She had no other choice than to try to muffle the sounds of her boyfriend’s screams. He’d been screaming nonstop for the past thirty minutes, whether it was out of pain or fear of a hallucination, the remaining three couldn’t tell. Every few minutes the group could hear Itsuki throwing himself at the wall or door, but even then, after some time the initial shock of it softened.

Takumi stopped scratching his shoulders and looked to Bunji, who apathetically laid his head in his knees, then to Taniko, who was sobbing as she covered her ears. As Itsuki’s screams mixed together with Taniko’s cries, Takumi could feel a ball of anger well-up inside him. He wasn’t sure what pushed him over the edge. Was it the situation itself? The fact he’d seen his fellow students and teachers dead? Was it that he was hungry? Was it that he missed his family? The constant never ending shrieking? Was it knowing his friend was in pain, but he couldn’t do anything to help? Whatever the case, Takumi snapped.

“That’s it!”

Quickly getting to his feet, Takumi stood and rushed over to Taniko. Gripping her by her underarms, Takumi raised her to her feet. “Enough!” He shouted as he looked at Taniko’s tear stained face. “Just be quiet for two seconds, please! I can’t think! You crying your head off isn’t helping anything! And staying here isn’t helping either!” As Takumi went to guide his sobbing friend over to the door, her cries turned to shrieking.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

Then what followed was a sudden blow to the face. As Takumi’s smell was filled with iron, he was knocked back onto the floor of the infirmary, Taniko rushed out the room, slamming the door behind her. While Takumi laid on the floor he could see Bunji stand over him and look down with a concerned expression. Bunji then turned his attention in Taniko’s direction. His face was coated with worry, while a sense of conflictedness wrapped itself around his heart. If he checked on Taniko then he would be abandoning the guy he loved, but if he stayed and comforted Takumi, who knows what Taniko could do being that distraught.

“Tani!”

He ultimately chose to chase after Taniko, leaving Takumi on the tile floor. It took a moment for Takumi’s mind to become cohesive once again. His vision was filled with the bright yellowish glow of the ceiling light, however his peripheral was engulfed in tiny specks of white floating orbs. Puting his hand to his nose he could feel blood run down his cupid’s-bow. As he brought his hand up to block the light, he could see the tips of his pointer and middle finger stained red. For a moment as he closed his eyes he contemplated staying on the cold flooring. If he stayed he wouldn’t have to deal with anything anymore. No more rabies, no more fighting, no more dead bodies, just him lying on the floor till the end of time. He found it strange how easily things could fall apart. Just a few hours ago they were goofing off in the gym together. Did those days they spent in the storage room comforting each other mean nothing now? But then thoughts of his parents filled his mind. “Look at it this way. This is a crappy situation for everyone and we’re all scared. But if we sit around talking about how bad or hopeless things are, then we aren’t going to get anywhere. We need to stay positive right now. Your parents and Hina are probably just stuck at home waiting for you.” His own words echoed in his head. His mom, dad, and Nagisa would all be at home wondering where he was. And Saori, where was she after all this, held up in her university’s dormitory, or maybe she wasn’t even effected at all? And what about Bunji and Taniko, what would happen to them?

Itsuki’s screaming came back into focus as Takumi sat up. Pulling the bottom of his white shirt up to his nose as he stood revealed his bright blue undershirt. He could feel his head throb as he straightened up and began walking out the door. Peering out into the hallway’s right, he could see the light from the entrance cut through the darkness. Bunji’s and Taniko’s silhouettes casted in black, as Taniko snatched the catcher-pole, leaving Bunji with the bat and bag as she walked towards the light of the entrance.

“Where are you going?” Takumi yelled out to her as he held the shirt fabric to his nose. “Home!” She replied sharply without turning back. She then walked into the mudroom and out of view.

Bunji and Takumi eventually caught up to her as she stared down at Mr. Totsuka’s body that was still sprawled on the pavement. She couldn’t help but stare. About a week ago when she last had gym, she could remember seeing Coach as well as ever.

Taniko sat on the gym’s stage watching her classmates play volleyball from the sidelines. Her bobbed hair pulled back in two ponytails and dawning her gym uniform, even though she had no intention of joining them.

“Alright Oku, what’s wrong.” Mr. Totsuka asked as he walked over. His voice had a sort of assuring yet authoritative quality to it, like the way a father would talk to his daughter. For a moment Taniko didn’t say anything, instead continuing to look over at the rest of the class, until she said her usual answer.

“Just...Girl stuff.”

Mr. Totsuka sighed disappointedly. “Well I know that ain’t true.”

Taniko looked over at him somewhat shocked. She’d been using that excuse to get out of doing anything she didn’t want to do sense middle school, and never once had any teacher said anything in defiance to it, especially not a male teacher.

“You used that excuse last week.”

Taniko scooted back further on the stage, pulling her legs up and crisscrossing them.

“Do, you wanna talk about anything?”

She did nothing other than give a simple shrug.

“You know you can talk to me. What’s eatin you up?”

Truthfully she could’ve simply replied with, “I’m too tired.”, and that wouldn’t have been too far from the truth. She really was just tired. Too burnt out. She saw it unproductive and irresponsible if she wasted her already limited energy on gym. Not when she had things waiting at home; dishes, laundry, making dinner, studying, tending to her mother. Her energy was needed elsewhere.

“If something’s bothering you, and you don’t feel comfortable talking to me about it, you could always go talk to the counselor.”

“The counselor can’t fix my mom.”

Mr. Totsuka pondered a moment as he stuffed his paper-back book under his arm and leaned against the stage, observing his students to make sure all was well. It was a book he’d read numerous times before, Living by Eichi Kei, although always found himself returning to it. The two were quiet as they took in the excitement of the yelling and darting teens spiking and reaching for the ball. Sounds of the squeaking rubber of the indoor gym sneakers echoed off the walls.

“Yeah. I know it’s rough.”

A girl let out a sharp, “Ayea!”, as she jumped up and hit the ball.

“I know you probably don’t care, but take some advice from an old coot. One of the things that amazes me about my wife is how strong she is, and I’m not just talkin about physical strength. She’s resilient. She has every right to say, ya know what I’m done, I’m going to stay in bed all day and do nothin, but even though she’s sick she still gets up every morning. I wake up and there she is, already dressed and making coffee, wheeling around her little oxygen tank. And I think, wow, she’s awesome. She doesn’t give up. And I know you’re strong like her.”

The odd quirk he had of reading the same book. Or how he talked about taking his wife to Hawaii over the summer break to celebrate her remission. All that reduced to a lifeless broken body.

“You forgot Itsuki’s bag. You weren’t seriously going to leave without it, were you?” Takumi said as soon as he caught sight of her. Bunji, being closest to Taniko, approached her, hesitantly walking down the steps and gestured the bag out to her. Taniko scowled at him before taking the bag. She turned away from Bunji as she directed her gaze back to the body. It took a few seconds, but her scowl contorted into a face trying to hold back tears. “We can’t just—“ She dropped the bag and catchpole as she squatted down with her knees to her chest, covering her face with her hands. “We can’t just leave him.”

“Well I don’t know what you want us to do! We know he’s infected and there’s nothing we can do about it except let things take their course.”

Bunji, with his eyes still fixed on Taniko, spoke up. “But, h-he’s suf-suffer—“

“Alright Bunji, you go in there with that bat and put poor Itsuki outta his misery. But I know you won’t do it, you wanna know why, because none of us could! You, me, Taniko, we can’t physically or mentally handle doing something like that! And yeah, it sucks to see Itsuki like that, but this whole situation sucks! None of us wanna leave him, but that’s our only option at this point. Maybe eventually things’ll go back to normal, but normality isn’t the reality right now.”

As Taniko took in those words she removed her hands away from her glasses, looking down at the cement she could see groups of ants making their way to Mr. Totsuka. A few outliers crawled their way onto Taniko’s sneakers. One ant struggled to grip onto the rubber lining. It oddly reminded her of herself. No other ant turned back to help it, left all alone to struggle. She’d struggled for so long. Cursed with seeing her own father’s framed portrait stare back at her. Having to grow up too fast; one part due to loss, two parts neglect from a depressed stricken parent. No one seemed to care enough to actually do anything, only giving out phrases like “I’m so sorry”, “I guess it can’t be helped.”, or “Oh man, that must suck for you.” All, except for Itsuki. He’d treated her like a princess because he knew how much she deserved it. She could replay reading over Itsuki’s confession text in her mind.

‘I Love You Taniko’

“I don’t want things to go back.” Taniko mumbled from under her breath. As she stood she kept her eye on the struggling ant before scraping it into the pavement. She turned her back to the boys, as she reached for the man-catcher with her right hand and wiped her tears with the left. “I, I uh, usually take the train.”

“Then we’ll walk you to the station.”

“What about you guys?” She asked as she turned around to look at them.

“We’re fine, we live close enough to walk.” Takumi replied as he reached down and picked up the bag. He quickly brushed a few ants off and turned his attention to Bunji. “You brought your bike, right?”

A few minutes later the group found themselves by the bike cover, Bunji searching up and down the almost empty rows of bike racks for the familiar vibrant orange color. It eventually caught his eye and he gestured for the others to follow. The bike frame itself was an eye catching sunset orange, while bits of white and black acted as accents. Bunji traded the aluminum bat for Itsuki’s bag, and then set the bag on the bike’s back bag-rack. Soon the trio was off, departing from the school and taking a right. Bunji took the lead on his mighty steed, while Taniko and Takumi walked at a brisk pace. Walking down the road they found the streets alarmingly quiet. As they approached a small bridge with white metal arching sides Bunji didn’t make the left turn towards the station. Instead he headed straight across the bridge.

“Where are you going!?” Takumi shouted. Bunji didn’t reply. Takumi sighed as he stood at an impasse watching Bunji ride further down the road. Taniko opted to turn left.

“I’ll go catch up with him. You’re free to follow us.” Takumi pointed the bat in the direction of the bridge, “Or you can walk yourself to the station.” He then pointed it over to the left turn. “Choice is yours.”

After some brief silence he began to follow Bunji’s lead. For a moment Taniko had planned on just standing by the street-mirror and waiting for the two boys to get back, but she couldn’t handle being alone. Being alone only gave her thoughts a chance to spiral into the darkest depths of her mind. She ran to catch up, the catcher-pole clanking as she did so. The three headed straight through a right-turning intersection. As Bunji headed down the road, Takumi tried to get him to stop once there was a fork in the street that gave them a chance to turn back. Them coming up from one road, and the opposite road running somewhat parallel to theirs, 37th Street, led to another bridge that would take them in the direction of Ijuin Station. Both roads merging into one.

“Bunji! Where the fuck are you going?”

Bunji pushed on his breaks and snapped his head around to meet Takumi. “Shouta!” He screamed as if it were obvious. For Takumi it made perfect sense.

“Okay, I get it. Ya wanna swing by the school?”

Bunji continued in the direction of the elementary and middle schools instead of giving any sort of verbal response. Taniko felt left out the loop. Being dragged around every which way instead of being given an explanation or being walked to where Takumi said they’d go.

“Hello! I’m still ‘f’ing here! I need to get home!”

“He wants to go check on his little brother.”

As they made their way to Hioki City Elementary School it was by far the most off-putting scene. The white three-story building being desolate.

“Shou-Shouta!”

Oddly enough it hurt more seeing the elementary school vacant than it was their high school. Perhaps it was because Bunji hoped to see his little brother, or at the very least another young boy or girl rush out the front door shouting “I’m okay!”, to give him hope that the three of them weren’t alone.

“Maybe...he’s with your mom and dad.”

Takumi said this out of reassurance to Bunji that all was fine.

After a few minutes of standing outside the elementary school building they pressed on, going back the way they came. Once at the crossroads they took a right, going up 37th Street and walked across a wider bridge with short dark brown guarders, and continued straight to the train station. They caught a glimpse of Shimazu Yoshihiro’s statue before making a left into the Ijuin Station’s side lot. The station’s main two-story building being coal black. A bridge-like structure connecting the north and south sides. On top of the building read Ijuin Station in silver-ish lettering. White overhangs provided shade in the front parking lot as two cars sat abandoned. A banner outside the main entrance read, Ijuin Station now closed. A group of silver, and white and blue passenger cars sat unused and gated off. As the group turned in, they could see a side entrance along the side of the building. Benches sat empty next to a vending machine. To the right of the machine stood a set of white doors taped over with yellow ‘do not cross’ tape. Up on the overhang hung signs reading, “Celebrate our station’s 113th birthday!”, and “Come see the 51st Ijuin Middle School U-13 soccer tournament, 7/6/26”. Taniko rushed up to the doors, throwing the catcher down and banging on them with her fists. “Hello! Is anyone there!? We need help!”

Takumi sighed as he walked up and placed the bat against the building.

“Face it, no one’s here.”

Bunji followed suit and rested his bike on the wall before taking a seat on a bench, bringing the bag with him. Taniko continued to pound at the door as Takumi rolled his eyes. “What station do you usually get off at?”

Taniko, with frustration in her voice, replied with “Higashi-Ichiki.”, before stepping away from the door and storming off past the benches.

“I know where a police box is, I’ll try there.”

Bunji gave her a concerned look as she walked away. Once out of sight, he turned towards Takumi. “D-do, you, see a-anyone?” Takumi peered through one of the windows. Only being met with darkness, he responded with “No.” Bunji exhaled and slumped into the seat. Takumi glanced sympathetically at Bunji before taking a seat next to him.

“I’m surprised you’re not as upset as she is.”

Bunji cracked a side smile. “Tani, cri-cries an-da, screams for the, both, of us.”

“Ah I get it. So she does all the waterworks and yelling so you don’t have to?”

Bunji nodded a matter of factly.

“Well I guess I should be thankful I only got one emotional mess instead of two.”

Bunji playfully nudged Takumi, which in turn made him laugh. After that the two were quiet. Takumi took a moment to let the soothing silence sink in, which was interrupted by Bunji tapping on the wood of the bench. The rhythmic tapping peeking Takumi’s interest.

“What song is that?”

“To, kyo, Flash. It-ts kinda, old.”

“Who’s it by? I might know it.”

“Vau-Vaundy.”

“Yeah, nope never heard of it.”

“That’s cu-cuz, all you, li-listen to is, Eng-English music.”

“Hey that’s not true! I listen to—“

“Gaaaah!” Taniko groaned as she stomped over and squared up to the vending machine. “So, how’d it go.” Takumi said, it was less of a question, and more of a comment.

“No one was fucking there!”

Taniko searched her pockets in frustration and then looked at Bunji. “Pass me Itsuki’s bag!” Bunji quickly did as ordered and handed over the bag to Taniko. She hurriedly got on her knees and unzipped the bag, frantically looking for something. After a few seconds of digging around she pulled out a dark green leather wallet from one of the bags interior side pockets. Effortlessly taking out a 200 yen bill, she tried ramming it into the money slot. “I just want a freaking soda!”

“It won’t work. There’s no power.”

Taniko furrowed her brow at Takumi, picked up the catcher-pole, and began hitting the machine with it.

“Ta-Tani—“

“Just let her get it out of her system.”

After a few attempts of hitting it with the pole were unsuccessful, she resorted to shaking and kicking it, before finally giving up. In defeat she got onto her knees and stared at the machine’s take-out port. No one said a word. Takumi stayed quiet as he kept eyes locked on Taniko.

“Poor machine, being abused.” Bunji said softly.

The unexpectedness of the statement and the clarity of it coming from Bunji made both Takumi and Taniko laugh. Taniko tried to hold her laugh in till she eventually broke down and chuckled. “That was so stupid.” Her tone was surprisingly playful. She looked up at the boys. It was the first time she’d noticed Takumi’s nose. Dried blood streaking from his nostrils to his lips.

“Takumi, I’m really sorry about the...”

Takumi raised his hand up to his nose. “Oh, this? Nah, don’t apologize. I deserved it. I was being pretty douchey.”

“I thought I heard voices.”

An unfamiliar voice shot through the air. Taniko turned her head to see a young college aged girl. Her hair was black for the most part, all except a small vertical streak of bleach blonde, She wore a plane T-shirt with pink jogging pants. As she dismounted from her bike her ponytail swished ever so slightly. She took a moment to look over the group.

“You guys are from the high school, right? Where are your parents?”

Everyone’s faces went solemn, but it was Takumi that spoke. “We don’t exactly know. That’s why we were trying to get home.”

The girl looked shocked. “You’re just now trying to get home? Where were you three all this time?”

“It’s a long story.” Taniko said wearily.

“Well, if you’re looking for your parents, there’s a good chance I might know where they are. My parents helped arrange a safe haven at the AZ. That’s where everyone who didn’t make it out of the city before they started shutting everything down are. We have a lot of food, and we have a generator.”

Bunji’s face lit up at the prospect of getting to sleep in a bed and eat an actual meal.

“Oh, you mean the gay hotel?” Takumi asked.

“You only think it’s gay because there’s a rainbow on it.” Taniko replied as she reached for the man-catcher and stood up.

“I’ll wait for you guys around front while you get your stuff. But uh—“ The girl eyed the man-catcher. “You really won’t need the catch-pole.”

Taniko’s eyes went wide once she realized what that meant. She froze with the man-catcher still in her grip. Bunji tentatively came up behind her and placed his hands on hers. “Yo-you, have to let, go.” Taniko’s eyes began to swell with tears again. “Please don’t make me. I can’t—“

“It-its just a, th-thing. Your, memor-ory of him, is greater, th-than, anything phu-physical.”

The girl stood confused as Takumi, with bag over shoulder, walked alongside with Bunji’s bike. “Are they, okay?” The girl asked in reference to Taniko.

“Yeah, just been through a lot today.”

“I can tell.”

A minute or two passed and eventually Taniko was able to leave behind the pole, although not without sobbing. Bunji walked with her, the bat in his left hand, and with his right, placed a comforting arm around Taniko’s shoulders. The two leaded the way, as Takumi and their savior made up the rear, walking the bikes along. The early evening sun beckoning from the west.

“He’s so good to her.”

“Huh?” Takumi looked over to the girl.

“Your friend. He’s very good to her....it’s a her, right? She’s a girl?”

“Uh...yeah?”

“Okay, I just wanted to double check because I saw the pants and didn’t want to assume. The only students I’ve seen do that androgynous uniform thing were LGBT kids, and I didn’t know if she was trans or non-binary.”

“Don’t worry, she’s a girl.”

“Yeah I understand. I just want to make sure, ya know? You never know these days, and some of my friends are LGBT so I know how impor—“

“It’s fine, really. The only reason why Oku wears pants is because she feels more comfortable in them. None of the teachers said anything, so she just kept wearing them.”

“Ooh, so her name’s Oku?”

“Well, her last name. Her first is Taniko.”

“I like sticking to first names. It makes things a lot friendlier. Especially in times like these, it’s important for people to feel a deep bond between one another, being kind and helpful to fellow humans, that sort of stuff....Alright, so if she’s Taniko, who’s he?”

Takumi was completely caught off guard by the girl’s over-forwardness. Was she normally this friendly and excitable? “That’s, Bunji.”

“Bunji must be a really good boyfriend.”

A small smile crossed Takumi’s lips as he heard those words. “Yeah he—“

“She’s lucky to have him.”

Takumi drew back his smile and gave a flat obligatory “Uh-huh.”

The two were quiet, however the girl didn’t seem to like the stillness, so she continued on talking.

“So what’s your name?”

“Takumi, and yours?”

“Kiara.”

Fourteen minutes in and they came across a creamy white colored five floored building. The first floor being highlighted by a dark sandy color. And up at the very top was its signature rainbow. Hotel AZ, 4800 yen. A herd of cars were parked around the parameter of the hotel.

“Over here, you can park your bike.” Kiara instructed as she gestured to the left of the main entrance. Takumi complied, propping the bike near the side of the building.

“Alright so, everyone’s a bit busy, so when you go in there’s going to be a lot of people. I’ll go talk to my mom and get you guys a room, and see if anyone registered under your last names. My mom, dad, or me, will give you guys the card once we get it sorted out. Morita, Sasaki, and Oku, right?”

The three nodded.

“Okay, just checking. Want to make sure I have the names correct.”

Kiara then held the front door open as the group entered. The large room, to the friends’ amazement, had power. Even though orange-tinted lamps lined the walls, it took a second for their eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, the scenery being made darker by the room’s wine red carpet. However the only thing on Takumi’s mind was his parents. Scanning the room, he dug his nails into the side of the bag as his body began to tingle with a burning itch and muscles tensed. There were people to his right, there were people to his left. Anywhere he looked he saw a person. There was a woman, who vaguely looked-like his mother, huddled in the left corner nearest the door, sobbing and being consulted by what Takumi assumed to be her husband. A pair of middle schoolers, one still in her disheveled school uniform, sat by the right wall playing hand games. A group of little kids played tag as they weaved in and out of groups of people. An old man sitting amongst the seating area centered in the middle of the room spouted nihilistic skepticism.

“We can’t just sit here with our thumbs up our asses doing nothing! We need to fight back! We need to march up to the border, look those defense officers in the eyes, and demand retribution! We’re stuck here because the people who were supposed to protect us trapped us here to die! They think if they isolate the problem then it supposedly goes away, but at what cost, our lives? It’s not even just Hioki, its Kagoshima! I bet it’ll be all of Kyushu next! Blocked off, no power, no one comes in, no one goes out! We need to show the Emperor, or prime minister, or whoever gave the god-damn order, that we will not be silence to this injust—“

“You’re scaring the kids!” A man shouted.

The old man slouched and folded his arms. “All this cuz of some half-brain scientists and crazy monkeys.” He then lifted himself slowly from the chair before walking towards the back of the room. “What is this world coming to?”

The sounds were overwhelming. Takumi’s vision began to blur as his head pounded. A sharp ringing in his ears grew in volume as he came to a standstill in the midst of the crowd. “Don’t run, you’re okay, don’t run, you’re okay, don’t run, you’re okay, don’t run, you’re okay.” He thought to himself. Suddenly he felt a slight jab in the stomach. Looking down, Takumi caught sight of the end of the bat. It was Bunji, reaching through the crowd. He used the bat as an extension of his left arm, as he kept his other hand firmly around Taniko. Takumi took hold of the bat and was guided out the mob and over to the open space near the elevators.

Once in the clear, he let go of the bat and looked over to Bunji. Bunji hastily whispered something to Taniko before releasing his grip on her, then his full attention was centered on his partner. Lowering the bat, Bunji ran up to Takumi, wrapping his arms around him. “Yo-you, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I saw yo-you, start to, fre-freeze up.”

“I know. I’m fine now, really.” Takumi then returned the embrace. As the two stood interlocked, a couple caught Takumi’s eye. A woman dressed in a black bird print baggy shirt and loose fitting grey capris, sat near an elevator with her toddler, who was playing with a sippy-cup. A taller man in a light thistle colored button-up and khaki pants walked up to join them. However, their appearance wasn’t what shocked him. It was the fact Taniko approached them. Due to the noise Takumi couldn’t make out any words, but he could tell the conversation was somber. Taniko took a long bow before she spoke to the woman. As she talked she paused for a brief moment and got on the woman’s level, kneeling on the carpet. As she went on, the woman nodded and placed a hand over her mouth, silent tears streaming down her face. The man too crouched down and pulled both his wife and Taniko into a hug, as the toddler tugged at her mother’s sleeve. After parting, Taniko bowed once again, this time taking off her glasses. Even now, Takumi could see she was crying. Gravity pulling the tears down like skydivers as they plummeted to the floor. Straightening up, she dried her face with her arm as she walked back in the direction of the boys. Her complexion was pale as she held herself back from sobbing.

“What, what happened?” Takumi whispered over to her as he departed from Bunji’s hug. Taniko glanced back at the now distraught family before looking to her friends. “It was—“

“There you guys are! So I talked to my dad. He didn’t see anyone with your last names, but I got the room card for...” Kiara’s voice trailed off as she laid eyes on Taniko. “Hey, sweetie, you okay?”

“Ca-can I, have the key, please.” Taniko sobbed as she adjusted her glasses back on her face. Kiara gave her a sympathetic nod. “Sure thing, you definitely sound like you need your own space right now.” Kiara then looked at the boys. “I’ll go take Taniko up to the room, help her get settled in and calmed down. On my way back down I’ll find you guys and give you the key card, so try not to wonder off. Dinner should be served soon, that’s why everybody’s congregating in here.”

“Will do.”

After Takumi’s reply, Kiara was already guiding Taniko towards the elevator. As Takumi watched the silver doors close, Bunji slumped down by the wall, laying the bat on the ground. “I, so-so, exhausted.”

“You so exhausted?” Takumi said as he took a spot next to Bunji. His tone was playful yet empathetic. The way one might speak to a child learning to talk. “I know you exhausted cuz you can’t even make sentences right.” He continued, still poking fun at Bunji’s verbal slip-up in an effort to make him laugh. Although his efforts were in vain considering Bunji didn’t even give a pity laugh. Takumi turned serious. “Yeah, I’m exhausted too.” An awkward silence hung over them until being broken by Takumi’s deliberate slow exhale. “This sucks balls.”

“Agreed.” Bunji then unbuttoned one of his top shirt buttons to cool himself off and unwind from the long walk. “But, a-at least, we ge-ta food.”

Takumi smirked as he wiped the blood from his nose. “Man, I see where your priorities lie.”

“Huh?”

“You’re not like, aw I’m glad we’re together through all this, or, I wonder where my family is. You’re just like, me hungry, me want food, ooga ooga!”

“Pretty much.” Bunji let out a sort of breathy chuckle. “I, can-can’t think without, food.”

A few minutes of waiting and Bunji’s wish was soon granted. An exceedingly tall woman handed out bowls of white rice and yellowtail. For dessert, slices of mango were doled out. Takumi, striking up a deal with Bunji, traded his mango slice for Bunji’s fish.

“You guys finishing up?” Kiara asked as she bent down to look at the pair. In her left hand she carried her meal, while in her right she held out their key card. Bunji gave a nod, as Takumi placed his bowl aside and looked up at her. “Your card.” She said in a coy voice as if dealing out a business card. Takumi took the lime green card from her fingers and looked at the back. Room 504.

“Is, Ta-Tani okay?”

Kiara took in a breath and planted herself cross legged on the ground across from the guys. “I calmed her down a bit, but she didn’t say much. She probably didn’t want to be open around a stranger. You guys are her friends, can you go up there and see if she’ll talk to you about what’s bothering her? You need to put your things away anyways. I came back down to eat and give you the card. Once I’m done I’ll be up there to check on the three of you. Oh, and!” She picked up a bit of yellowtail with her chopsticks and quickly shoved it in her mouth before continuing. “The room is a bit small. All of the double rooms are taken by the families with young kids. I made sure to put a futon on the bed so one of you can sleep on the floor. I hope you don’t mind.”

Gathering up their things, the couple made their way up to the fifth floor.

“508...508, ah, here we are!”

Takumi inserted the card into the slot before hearing a faint “beep”. Taking a few steps in the room, Kiara’s statement about the room being small for the three of them became more and more fitting. A narrow entrance acted as the mud room, Taniko’s shoes already residing near the door, while the open room itself was about 13 meters squared. To the right of the entrance stood the door to the bathroom. A singles bed with gold sheets, along with the folded up futon, was placed to the wall nearest the door. A large window faced opposite that, and a long light oak colored table was placed against the left wall. On top of the table sat a white lamp and small black TV. Taniko sat on a stool which was the same style as the table. She stared into a mirror hanging on the left wall just in front of her. Her glasses and blue uniform bow laid on the tabletop. Looking from her side profile, her shoulder length dark brown hair hid her face. Bunji followed behind Takumi, however was halted when Takumi stopped just outside the narrow walkway. Quietly, Bunji set down the bag and bat by the door as Takumi spoke.

“We need you to talk to us.”

“About what?” Taniko’s voice was flat.

“What are you so worked up about?”

Taniko slowly turned to face them with a look of pure astonishment. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I spent days in a small room with three other people after running for my life. Because I saw one of my teachers dead. Maybe because my boyfriend died today! Because I had to lie to my boyfriend’s own parents and say that he had a quick and painless death, instead of telling them how we left their son screaming! And you want to know something!” Taniko’s face was red with rage. “You keep saying how we should look on the bright side and stay positive because things’ll eventually go back to normal, but that’s not the case for everyone! Not everyone has something good to go back to! For people like me everything is shitty! My life was shitty before this, it’s shitty now, and it’ll be shitty after!”

Takumi and Bunji looked at her in disbelief. She stared at them before turning back to the desk and casting her gaze downward. “It’s like everything’s repeating, like a cycle. When I was ten, and my dad got sick, that’s when things got bad.” She paused to mentally prepare herself. “When he stopped...when, he wasn’t there, anymore, we moved, and then my mom never wanted to do anything. All she did was cry and lay in bed. I had to be the mom, she relied on me, and things just stayed that way. And at this point, I want to give up. It feels like the world is playing this cruel joke on me. Like, let’s see how many viruses can ruin Taniko Oku’s life. First COVID, now RALYVI. First dad, now Itsuki. It doesn’t matter if there’s a cure and we go back to school, things won’t go back to normal, not for me. And all I can do is sit here. I literally can’t do anything. There’s nothing I could do that would result in a good outcome for me. So can you blame me for...giving up?”

Takumi was at a loss for words. Silence settled in the room, and as her words worked their way into his mind, Takumi was brought back to six months ago.

“This is going to sound really messed up, but if she’s so suicidal and mentally unstable as the doctors say she is, then why doesn’t she just do it?” Takumi asked as he set down a white cardboard box. Mrs. Morita looked up from her place on the floor sorting a box of clothes. “Takumi, you know she’s sick. Sometimes sick people, hell, even normal people don’t always make sense.” She replied as she tossed an old sundress into the recycle shop pile. “I think, on the outside she feels like she wants to die, but there’s something in her heart that tells her she can’t. You, me, dad, Saori, we’re what’s keeping her here. So it’s our job to keep her here with us for as long as we can.”

Takumi raised an eyebrow. “How is that my job? I never asked her to be crazy and move back in. Or this, this is her stuff, shouldn’t she at least be helping?”

“And you think Nagisa asked to be mentally ill?”

“No.”

“Well see, question answered. Somethings are the way they are, just because. You didn’t ask to be her little brother, and you didn’t ask to be her support. Just like she didn’t ask to be the way she is. Things just turn out that way, and the Universe doesn’t care if you like it or not. If I could take away all the mental illnesses on my side, I would. It skipped me. It skipped you and Saori, but it got Nagisa and that’s why we have to be there to support her.” Mrs. Morita raised up a baby blue baseball-cut shirt with a picture of a small yellow cartoon bird. “Do you think she’d want to keep it or should I pitch it?”

“Pitch it, I haven’t seen her wear that in years.” Takumi answered as he picked up the box cutter and worked the blade along the tape line. “But, about being there for Nagisa, I’m not sure I know how to be there for her and help her.”

“I said support, not help.” His mother corrected.

“What’s the difference?”

“Helping someone is when you help a stranger carry their stuff. You do it because you feel bad, or you feel like you have an obligation. But support, support comes from a place of love. It’s saying that you’ll be there for someone. You’ll never give up on them, no matter what.”

“I-I’d, want to give up, t-too, if I was in your, position.” Bunji’s statement snapped Takumi back to the present. It took a second to let Bunji’s words register in his brain.

“I’d want to give up too if I was in your position.”

Takumi turned to look at Bunji. “Did you really just say that!” He snapped.

“I was, just, em-empathizing with he-her.”

Takumi became defensive and got in Bunji’s face. “You’re basically encouraging her to kill herself!”

“No!”

“Yes, you are! You saying, you’d do the same thing is like saying, that way of thinking and behaving is okay, when it’s not! If I felt like Taniko and was telling you how I wanted to off myself, I hope to god you wouldn’t say, oh golly jee that sucks, ya know I don’t like living either, let’s go put a toaster in the tub and jump in together!”

“L-liste—“

“Taniko’s your friend, right!? You don’t just give up on her!”

“Taku, mi.”

“Is that how you treat friends, huh!? You want her to die!?”

Bunji, feeling threatened, forcibly pushed Takumi away, knocking him a few steps back. “Listen!” Bunji demanded. Takumi was stunned. Despite what most people would think, being slightly taller didn’t give Takumi an advantage. Physical stuff was Bunji’s expertise. Basketball, jiu-jitsu, double dutch club, his parents seemingly put no restrain on energy outlet activities for their son. It was fitting. Bunji’s hyperactivity lended itself to exercise, so Takumi was well-aware Bunji knew how to fight, that’s not what shocked him. What shocked him was that he’d never thought that Bunji would actually be confrontationally physical with him. They’d rough-played before, but never had Bunji actively egged on a real fight. All Takumi could do was react by instinct. Out of anger he went to go push Bunji back, but as Takumi raised his arms to shove him, Bunji shot his arms out straight forward toward Takumi, hands flat like knives, creating a wedge between them and shedding Takumi’s force. With upper arms and hands now on Takumi’s shoulders, Bunji locked his hands around Takumi’s neck, bringing him in a neck-clinch and whiplashing him to the floor. As Takumi’s back pressed to the ground, Bunji brought himself into a high mount, straddling himself on Takumi’s lower chest and pinning his wrists down. “Ple-se, listen.” Bunji said once more as he looked down at Takumi’s face. Takumi could see Bunji take a few breaths before speaking again, behind him was the white backdrop of the room’s ceiling.

“I do, not wa-wanna fight.”

As Bunji finished his statement there was the sound of breaking glass. For a split second the ceiling was speckled with white and rainbow fractals of light. Bunji looked up from Takumi and over to the window. Taniko stood holding the now dented TV monitor in her hands. Using the corner of the screen, she’d rammed it into the glass, shattering the window from the lowest left corner up to the middle. Cracks raced throughout the remaining window pane, made more noticeable by the sunlight. As Bunji met eyes with Taniko, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She threw the TV down and clambered onto the bed. “Tani!” Bunji yelled as he rushed to his feet, but it was too late. The sound of breaking glass sounded for the second time as Taniko leaped from the bed and threw herself at the window.

As shards pierced her skin and her body broke through, for some odd reason she recalled the poem Itsuki read to her in their first year of high school.

“A dragonfly accepts it’s brevity of life. With its gossamer wings feeling the breeze. Full of freedom, it watches our joy and our strife. Its wisdom learned flitting from water, to air, to trees.”

And as she felt herself start to plummet, echos from her past began to chime.

“The only thing I wanted for my birthday was to watch a movie with you, you couldn’t even get out of bed to do that!?”

“With wings that shimmer showing purpose and duty. Obedient to all of life’s changes in flight. Modestly it shows us its outer beauty. Always gracious, mindful and full of delight.”

“Taniko can you go find something to eat for dinner at the convenient store, Mom’s not feeling too well sweetie.”

“So whether what life gives you is good, bad, or sad. Show others that inner beauty counts and matters. Make your actions amount to many smiles and be glad.”

“Why don’t you just go get help!? You’re ruining my life!”

“For the dragonfly knows it lives a brief life this way. So I learn from this creature to live wisely each day.”

“Your Dad’s gone and there’s nothing either of us can do about it! Sometimes bad things happen to good people, what else do you want me to say?”

“And make every minute special to those that you love.”

“I wish you died instead of him!”

”As the dragonfly watches our actions from above...”

And then she hit the ground.

。 。 。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOREIGN WORD GLOSSARY 
> 
> Hotel AZ — Hotel AZ is a hotel chain owned by Amaze Co., Ltd- a hotel management company headquartered in Oita City, Oita Prefecture, Japan.
> 
> Yen — Yen is the monetary unit of Japan similar to a dollar. 100 yen being roughly equivalent to 1 USD.
> 
> LGBTQ — LGBTQ is an acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer or questioning. These terms are used to describe a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. A related expression is SOGI, standing for Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity. 
> 
> Kagoshima — Kagoshima Prefecture (鹿児島県) is a prefecture of Japan located on the island of Kyushu and the Ryukyu Islands. Kagoshima Prefecture has a population of 1,599,779 (as of January 2020) and has a geographic area of 9,187 km2 (3,547 sq mi). Kagoshima Prefecture borders Kumamoto Prefecture to the north and Miyazaki Prefecture to the northeast. The prefecture has strong agricultural roots, which are reflected in its most well-known exports: green tea, sweet potato, radish, Pongee rice, Satsuma ware, Berkshire pork ("kurobuta"), and local Black Wagyu beef. 
> 
> Kyushu — Kyushu (九州), literally "Ninth Province" is the third largest island of Japan's five main islands and the most southerly of the four largest islands (excluding Okinawa).
> 
> Shimazu Yoshihiro — Shimazu Yoshihiro (島津 義弘, August 21, 1535 – August 30, 1619) was the second son of Shimazu Takahisa and the younger brother of Shimazu Yoshihisa. Traditionally believed to be the seventeenth head of the Shimazu clan, he was a skilled general during the Sengoku period who greatly contributed to the unification of Kyūshū.


	3. What Do You Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two Azaleas find themselves wandering through memories to the tune of Dreams. Finding out that somethings are better unseen.

**CHAPTER 3**

(221x3 + 154x2 + 228x + 41) / (17x + 4)

Takumi’s eyes stared down at the paper, however he indulged his mind to wonder. He’d never understood the point of algebra or trigonometry, let alone math as a whole. It was a foreign concept, like reading hieroglyphics. To him, he had the mind of an artist, not a mathematician. If he could do adding, subtracting, multiplication and division, then that was good enough in his eyes. After all, life was short and he had better things to do with his Thursday than to sit in a crowded classroom being, what he considered, “tortured”.

Out of a mix of boredom and frustration, Takumi drew his attention to the blank area under the equation meant for scratch work, and began to doodle. Using his yellow mechanical pencil he drew a crude drawing of Shin-Chan with exaggerated tears pouring down his face. Below the doodle Takumi started to write “My brain’s too stupid for this.”, at least that’s what he was going to write till the beep of an alarm cut off his train of thought.

“Fire. Fire. The alarm on the first floor is indicating fire. Please evacuate quickly.” The automated male voice spoke from the school’s fire alarm system, being followed by three low sirens on repeat. Takumi jerked his head up instantly and looked to his teacher for guidance, who was already motioning for the class to stand.

“Everyone stay in an organized li—“

“Stay inside! Stay inside!” A girl screamed from down the hall.

The class turned their attention in the direction of the hallway, hearing the girl run past and shouting for everyone not to leave. Although despite the girl’s warnings, students from other classes began to exit and make their way down the stairs. Takumi’s class stayed in place as their teacher thought of what to do. Riku Yamazaki, a heavier guy who sat in the back of the class, turned and looked through the window which faced out to the back of the school. Gym students who were out running laps around the baseball field rushed across the dirt to the main building, scrambling for the back and side entrances. One boy, whose face looked like a bloody-pulp from the nose down, was carried on the back of a fellow student. “Something’s going on at the field! Everyone’s coming back in!” Riku spoke up. The majority of the class rushed over to the windows. Some stared perplexed while others gasped. Takumi, being one of the few students staying at their desk, sat trying to collect his thoughts. The mixture of the alarm, rush of other students in the hall, and comments from his classmates all congealed inside his head into incoherence. As the teacher tried to get the students near the window to calm down and remained seated, the ones who were sitting made the choice to leave the room.

“We have to remain calm, everyone sit down! We don’t know what the situation is so it’s best to stay in the room.”

Takumi chose to leave, the deciding factor being that he saw Bunji walk past and down the hall from the left open classroom door. Takumi quickly stepped out the room, ignoring his teacher’s order, and merged in with the crowd.

“Bunji!”

He felt like a fish being pushed forward by waves. Bunji was ahead about four meters. Throughout the crowd rang murmurs of confusion.

“Is it a drill?”

“Who pulled the alarm!?”

The two were directed down a flight of stairs by the flow of people. As Takumi rushed to catch up to his friend, he started to push students out of the way, causing him to lose balance and tumble down the stairs. As he laid at the base of the staircase, he could see a girl on the ground with him as well. She cried while covering her face as people started to trample her. Takumi placed his arms over his head and braced for the onslaught of stampeding feet, but instead he felt someone take him by the arms and pick him up. As Takumi turned to look up, he saw Bunji’s face.

“What’s going on!?” Takumi yelled.

“I-I-I don’t, there’s a fire, I th-think.”

“Attention all students and staff.” A teacher’s voice rang out over the fire alarm from the intercom. “There are wild animals on the premises, if seen, do not approach. Classes on the first floor only, take shelter on the second and third floors. Teachers, allow any student to take shelter in classrooms. Remain inside and wait for further instructions.”

This message only caused more chaos. A new wave of students coming from upstairs began to fight their way against the ones who were still trying to make it down.

“Let me through!”

“It was a false alarm, go back up!”

“Everyone go up!”

“I’m leaving! I’m going home!”

Bunji took Takumi by the hand and pulled him through the crowd. Making their way downstairs they could see students and teachers running in all directions. Some for the front entrance, while others headed for the stairwell. Takumi could hear people scream. A group of students formed in front of the nurses’ office as they carried in the boy with the bloodied face. Being closer revealed his missing lower lip, exposing his teeth and gums where there used to be flesh and skin. As the boys hurried past and into the mud room, two sisters fought as more gym students filed in, and a boy filmed the chaos with his phone.

“Where do we go?”

“We’ll, g-go get, the bi-bike.” Bunji replied as he opened the front entrance door. From the front sidewalk the two could see a guy running back from the school’s gate.

“Go back! Go back in! There’s one out front!”

Bunji saw the boy hold his arm as he ran by and back into the building. Bunji, turning his attention over to the gate, could make out a small dark humanoid figure scaling the bright blue metal frame.

“In here!” A male voice called over from the gym building. It was Itsuki Kinoshita. Takumi wouldn’t have considered them friends, more like acquaintances. Although the only reason Takumi knew him was due to his money. Itsuki may not have been the most popular at school, but he was certainly the richest, giving him a quality of coolness among the student body. His lack of need to boast offered him an unexpected down-to-earth air. He even could’ve attended a private school like Ikueikan or Josei, a fact Takumi was well aware of due to his own sister’s, Saori’s, constant nagging about how she wanted to go to Josei High for high school. A dream that came true for his sister, but not for Itsuki. No, Itsuki was held back by a single poor score. But perhaps it was better that way. Itsuki’s nature didn’t lend itself to upper-class values. Next to him stood his girlfriend, Taniko Oku. A girl often seen as withdrawn and macabre. Two qualities that made her off-putting to the majority of her peers; her taking refuge in teachers rather than those her own age. She gestured the couple over to the gym. Bunji, seeing it as the safest option, pulled Takumi up the gym’s sidewalk.

And the four of them headed into the gymnasium without looking back.

“Takumi!”

Takumi’s eyes shot open. The room was dark and silent. The only sound being the ticking of the wall clock. In the darkness he could see the faint outline of Bunji’s face looking down at him.

“It-it’s okay, you we-were having, a nightmare.”

Takumi could feel his hands pinned to the bed. “I....I don’t...” To his surprise his voice was dry and raspy as if he had a lump caught in his throat.

“Sshh, it’s alright. You-you’re safe. I-I’m go-in to take my hands, away, okay?”

Suddenly Takumi could feel the tight grip around his wrists loosen as Bunji moved away from him and flopped back on the bed. The boys laid side by side on the singles bed that was engulfed by the inky blackness of the hotel room. Takumi wanted to say something, anything, but his own shock restrained him. In a display of comfort, Bunji took Takumi’s hand in his till Takumi regained his composure. Once calmed down, Bunji asked, “What, was, I-it about? You were fre-fre-freaking out, and screaming.”. Takumi turned over on his side to face Bunji.

“The school, when everything happened.”

“You o-okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You, sure?”

“Yeah I’m fine, really. Remembering it just sucks is all.”

Takumi then reached over and placed a hand on Bunji’s cheek.

“Are you okay?” He asked, placing extra emphasis on the ‘you’. He could feel what felt like warm water roll down Bunji’s face.

“Have you been crying?”

Bunji nodded.

“Bunny, what are you thinking about?”

”I-I, um” Bunji took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I keep, seeing her ever-every time, I close my eyes. Like jum-jumping-ing out the window, over and over.”

“I know, but it’s going to be alright. Tomorrow we’ll go home, and our parents will be waiting for us. You’ll get to be in your own bed and our families will figure out what to do. You’ll be able to take your mind off stuff.”

There was a small tremor that reverberated throughout the room for a few seconds. This was something the couple was accustomed to. It wasn’t out of the ordinary to feel a sudden short quake from time to time.

“Earthquake.” Takumi whispered. Bunji tighten the hold on Takumi’s hand. “Shouta mu-must be so scared, with a-all this going on. He-he’s probably wonder-wondering where I am.”

“Aw no, Shouta’s a tough little man. He’s one of the bravest six-year olds I’ve ever met. When we were at Daguri Cape, and he rode the Rock N’ Roll ride with me, after it ended he straight up told me, my brother’s a pussy for not riding. He loved it, but I thought I was going to puke, so you had the right idea not going on it. But what I’m trying to say is that, it’s going to take a lot more than a virus to make him scared. He’s a COVID baby after all. He’s probably just happy he doesn’t have school.”

Bunji smiled for a brief moment but it quickly dissipated. “I wi-wish I could, give him a hug.”

“I know. I’m no replacement, but do you wanna hug me to tide you over?”

Bunji nodded before wrapping his arms around his partner and burying his face in his chest. “I’m so-so-sorry for fi-fighting.”

“Bun, its fine. I was the one who got in your face.”

“I-I-I could’ve, hurt you.”

“Bunji, you didn’t hurt me, promise.” Takumi then ran his fingers through Bunji’s short black hair as they embraced. “I promise. “

The two stayed that way till sunrise. The gradual light being their alarm. As the sunlight seeped in through the window, the boys were up and beginning to get ready. Bag packed, clothes on, ate breakfast. Eventually they stood at the front entrance as Kiara saw them off. Bunji mounted his bike, hanging the bag from the handle bars, as he waited for Takumi, who was talking with Kiara.

“I’m, really, truly sorry about Taniko. “ She said as she came up from a bow.

Takumi said nothing in reply, only giving a simple nod.

“If there’s anything, anything at all that I can do for you, please tell me. You could stay a little longer and wash your clothes, or I could give you some more food for the trip. Something?”

Takumi shook his head no. “We’re fine, really. Our houses aren’t that far, and if are families weren’t here then they’re probably cooping themselves at home.”

Kiara’s face sunk. “Well, okay, if that’s what you want to do.” She paused. “Oh and, her things.” She held out a folded up white bathroom towel. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted back, if you wanted anything...”

Takumi took the white bundle from her and gave a deep bow. “Thank you, it means a lot.” As he rose to meet Kiara’s eyes, he could see an older man, in his late sixties, exit the front door. He was clearly upset. Shaking as he sobbed quietly. Takumi wanted to say something to Kiara, but he’d been completely caught off guard by the situation. Never in his life had he seen an elderly man look so emotionally vulnerable. The only thing he could manage to say was, “Uh.”. Kiara turned in the direction Takumi was staring, the man catching her attention.

“Mr. Ogawa, what’s wrong?”

She stepped away from Takumi and placed a comforting hand on the elderly man’s back.

“I, I can’t control, my feelings. I keep thinking bout my, poor cats. T-they’re all alone.”

“Aww, I know. It’ll be alright. Did you talk to your wife about this?”

“Yes, she, um, she said they’d be safe at home and to go walk around outside, to calm my-my anxiety. But they’re, my children, and we just left em.”

“It’s going to be okay Mr. Ogawa. You’re wife’s right. Your cats are safe and sound at home. We’ll go take a walk, chat a bit, and after we can go get you some breakfast, yeah?”

As Kiara guided the old man over to the side, she turned to look back at the boys.

“You two stay safe.”

Takumi watched her go inside as he placed the folded towel in the bag and took his place on the back of the bike, using the bag rack as a seat with the bat placed on his lap. As Bunji began to pedal, Takumi wrapped his arms around his waist.

“She might be a bit too friendly for my taste, but she’s definitely very sweet.”

Bunji nodded his head in agreement.

They passed a group of boxes that were used to close off the area where Taniko hit the ground, before heading out the parking lot. Some kind soul had left an arrangement of origami flowers by one of the boxes. Takumi could hear it now, Kiara’s dad asking him if he wanted to go with a couple of the adults to burn the body so they could have a sort of funeral, but neither he nor Bunji wanted to go. They couldn’t bring themselves to see their friend not as she was; with now broken body, unrecognizable. Or seeing the crowd of people prepare and wrap Taniko’s body in bedsheets.

“Do you th-think, it’s my fault?” Bunji asked quietly. Takumi’s face softened. “No of course no— look, Bunji I didn’t really mean what I said. I know you weren’t telling her to go kill herself, you were being sympathetic. And I let my own personal issues and emotions get the better of me when I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have, said what I said.”

Bunji was quiet for a moment till he worked out a response. “The-e, suicide isn’t what’s, bo-bothering me. It’s like....For me-me, suicide isn’t more, tra-gic than any other de-th. People tend t-to think of suicide differently, when com-compared to other, deaths. But to me, suicide is-is the same, as losing someone to-to cancer, or car crash. Just a-another way, of going. I-in the end, a loved one is go-gone, it does-doesn’t matter how they died. Bu-but, the pa-art that does, bother me is that, I-I was there. It’s different, than, he-hearing your grandma di-died. Sure, you’re sad, but hear-ing-ing it, is different than, seeing it ha-happen. I keep, replaying, over and, over, th-thinking I ca-can grab her, but I can-can’t.” Takumi leaned his head on Bunji’s back. “Sometimes stuff just happens, and the Universe doesn’t care if you like it or not.” The two stayed quiet, taking in the stillness of the small city. Empty streets and vacant buildings. Takumi could feel the rush of air blow past as Bunji picked up speed. The rhythmic thump of the wheels was soothing. Despite all the awful things they’d seen, Takumi could find a strange beauty in it all. The morning sun that lit up on the road’s white paint work. Dew drops clinging to grass. The sound of chirping birds and distant barking of dogs.

“Oh ya know I can’t forget. The light wind of spring, flower swayin. Lookin just like you, waving goodbye. And this new city oh, full of loneliness. Will become. A memory someday, I can assure.” Bunji sang.

“Are you singing Sakanaction?”

“The wonder-filled days go by. With the gum you chewed gettin spat out, as soon as the pretty night steps down. The boredom-filled days go by. Even the dragged out nights. Will become. Memories someday, I can assure.”

Takumi couldn’t help but smile. It was a song they’d both memorized together, I Can’t Forget by the band Sakanaction. And despite Bunji’s stutter, he was able to not only sing with ease, but sing well. Takumi had never seen this side of him before. The side of him that was loud and confident, free.

“For years, and years, I kept it locked inside. For years, long ago. Today it’s here, answers crystal clear.” Takumi chimed in. Bunji turned his head back and glanced to Takumi for a split second, flashed a smirk, and went back to the road.

“Just like a dream, this day it is, all that I need. Oh this eternity, these days have been. Yeah, even now, I think of them. For years, and years, I just gotta say…Today it’s here, answers crystal clear. Just like a dream, this day it is, all that I need. Oh this eternity, these days have been. Yeah, even now, I think of them.” Bunji sung back.

“Just like a dream, this night is...”

“All that I need.”

The boys sang the last two lines in harmony.

“Oh this eternity, these days have been. Yeah, even now, I think of them!”

Takumi burst into laughter as he leaned his head back and looked up toward the sky. “Dude that was fucking awesome!”

This fond light-hearted moment between them was cut once they rolled up to the Morita residence. It didn’t quite register at first, but as they drew closer the damage became more apparent. The bottom floor windows to the left of the door stood agape, broken shards protruding like teeth.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!”

Takumi then dismounted, ran up to the miniature wooden pergoda that marked its place at the front of the house, and over to the set of windows. The two chairs that usually sat gathered around a small table were now stacked up on one another and placed against the wall. Using the already made improvised steps, he threw down the bat and climbed onto the chairs. Peaking inside, it looked like something out of a horror movie. There was no blood or scary demonic creature staring back at him, however the overwhelming feeling of discord slinked its way to his core. The livingroom along with the kitchen looked to be in shambles. Cabinets and drawers slung open as their containments were strung about.

“Fuck!” Takumi yelled in outrage as he climbed back down.

After Bunji propped the bike on the wheel’s kickstand, he rushed over to his other half. Takumi paced back and forth under the pagoda, white landscape rocks crunching beneath his shoes. “How can this get any worse!? How!?” His question was directed upwards as if challenging the gods.

“It-it’s, going to, be—“

“No it’s not! My fucking house got robbed, who knows what they stole, I still have no idea where my parents are, and I don’t know what to do!”

Bunji was quiet for a moment. That phrase. “I don’t know what to do.” resounded in his mind. One, two, six times, before it came to ahead.

“You’re seven years old bud, you need to learn to do this stuff on your own.” He could remember his father say as he got down on Bunji’s level and picked up a miniature plastic Minecraft pig.“You have to keep your stuff clean, that includes your room.” His father raised the pig up to meet Bunji’s eyes and playfully snorted. “Yeah you don’t wanna be like me. I’m all dirty and gross and play in the mud all day.”

Bunji chuckled. “Mine-Mine-Minecraft pigs don’t ge-get dirty.”

His father rolled his eyes before lowering the pig

“Can you tell me why you’re not cleaning your room? It’s just some toys. You clean up when me and Mom help you.”

A look of frustration crossed the seven year old’s face.

“I-I, do-do-don’t know, know what to do!”

Bunji’s dad placed a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Hey, I know doing things on your own can be scary, or hard, or overwhelming, but you can do it. You just need to...” He glanced down at the small pile of Minecraft figures to the right of him. “You have to take it block by block, like Minecraft. To make a house, you need to have all the pieces. It might feel like building a cool house is really difficult, but if you break it down into block pieces it’s a lot easier to manage. So when things seem hard or impossible, just take it step by step, block by block. Do you understand?”

Bunji nodded.

His father smiled. “So what’s the first step to getting this room straightened out?”

“Put-t away th-the futon?”

“Attaboy!”

“Takumi-mi, hear me ou-out.”

Takumi’s look of anger softened as he looked to Bunji.

“I-I don’t know, what to do, e-either. I’m no-not good with-th this kind of stuff. But, I d-do know we, need to be calm s-so we can think th-things over. Getting con-control on yo-your emotions is the, fi-first step before we-we do anything.”

Takumi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, pushing back his long bangs. “You’re right.”

“Be like Itsuki. De-deep breaths.”

Closing his eyes and taking a seat on the ground, Takumi took in a big breath of air before slowly releasing it. “One, two, three.” Another breath in, another breath out. After a few reps he opened his eyes, but instead of casting his eyes up to his friend, he looked down at the rocks.

“Itsuki was a lot better at leading than I am. I think I, actually respect him a lot more, knowing that he kept us all together. I mean without him we’d be—“

He stopped himself short of finishing. Bunji stayed silent as he walked over and picked up the bat off the ground. Crouching down, he could see the back of Takumi’s head, his shaggy black hair being caught by the sun. Bunji offered a playful nudge in his shoulder with the tip of the bat.

“Boop.”

Takumi looked back at him and grinned.

“Ya weirdo.”

“That’s my jo-job.” Bunji stated as if it was an undeniable fact. A side smile making itself known. The boys looked at one another, saying nothing, as if saying something would ruin the moment, but the inevitable seriousness caught up to Bunji.

“Do yo-you know, if anyone, wo-would be home?”

“Nagisa for sure. My parents would have still been at work when all of this shit happened. Or maybe they would’ve come back, I don’t know.”

“Then, ste-ep two. Go in and see who-who’s there.”

Inputting the numbers 2-2-6-5 was followed by a faint buzz from the smart lock. Takumi went in first followed by Bunji.

“Brace yourself. They might still be here.” Takumi whispered. Bunji raised and tightened the grip on the bat.

“I-if they are, we-we’ll kick their butts.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

Leaning his head out the mudroom, Takumi could see the living room was a complete mess. Broken glass sprayed across the floor.

“Keep your shoes on, there’s glass.”

As the boys walked deeper into the house Takumi began to panic.

“Nagisa!”

While Takumi took to the upstairs, Bunji was hit with the smell of rotting food that wafted over from the fridge as he entered the kitchen. Empty packs of Zyprexa-Zydis, Quetiapine, and ABILIFY tablets sat on the counter. A mosquito perched on the mostly white Zydis box. Picking up the small bottle of soap from the sink’s side, Bunji quickly smashed the bottom of the bottle onto the bug, crushing it.

“No, why, god danm it why!”

Takumi’s scream made him jump.

“Yo-you okay?!”

There was no reply.

“Takumi?!”

Bunji quickly retreated from the kitchen and ran up the stairs.

“Takumi-mi!”

At the top of the stairs, taking a slight right led him to Takumi’s room, which was marked by a hanging sign resembling a surfboard, the English word WELCOME in blue letters. Going further right led to an open over-look that over saw down to the living room, and across from the banister was Mr. and Mrs. Morita’s bed room. To the left of the stairs was the end of the hall, an even smaller hallway that led to the toilet and another room turned into the left wall. Walking up to Takumi’s door, Bunji approached with bat raised. There was a crack in the door. Peeking in, Bunji could see his partner frantically search around the room. Slamming desk drawers, picking up clothes that had been thrown about, scanning the closet.

“Why!”

Bunji slowly creaked open the door as he stepped into the room. A sea of CDs, nick-nack’s, papers, artwork, and clothes appeared at his feet. He could hardly see the floor. He’d been so used to seeing the room so full of life, lit up by the glow of a purple and orange lava lamp and orange string lights that outlined the perimeter of the room, but now it felt like a switch had been flipped, taking all the life with it.

“Taku, yo-you o-okay?”

“No, they took everything!” Takumi stopped by the bed and faced Bunji. “They took my fucking seven million yen laptop that I paid for! They took my promise ring, trashed my room!” Takumi turned away and grabbed his iPhone off the bed. “My phone’s dead! And everything’s gone!” He then sunk to the floor as he dropped the phone onto a pile of clothes. “Everyone’s gone.”

Bunji’s heart dropped. Takumi sounded so lost and defeated. Setting the bat down and stepping over to place a comforting hand on his friend’s back, Bunji’s sneaker hit something hard among the clothes. He stopped abruptly and looked down at the rectangular object at his feet. It looked to be some sort of tape player painted a bright lemon yellow.

“Well, yo-you still, have th-this. What-whatever this is.”

Takumi turned and looked over to him. “You found my walkman! I’ve been looking for that for weeks. Give me a sec!” Takumi then got up and ran over to his closet where he began to rummage through it and pull out a box. Bunji took a closer look at the portable music player. A few black buttons and the word SPORTS walkman, along with the familiar Sony logo darted on the front.

“Ho-how old is this th-thing?”

“1970’s I think, that’s what it said on eBay. It takes cassettes.”

“And ho-how much did you pay?”

“I’m not gonna say because then you’d get mad, and start lecturing me about how I need to save my money.”

“I-I-I just don’t understand, why yo-you want to collect all this old stuff whe-when you co-could just download the same stu-stuff at a higher qua-qua-quality on your phone.”

Takumi returned with a cassette tape in hand. On the front cover of the sleeve was a group of four caucasian people dressed in all black. Above the group was white under-case letters that read “the cranberries”.

“There’s just something about putting on a vintage tape that I love. Having a physical copy of a CD, or record, or cassette just means a lot more to me than tapping on a screen.”

Bunji gave the walkman over to Takumi and waited for him to insert the tape. A quick pull of the sleeve, slide of the tape, and close of the walkman initiated a low hum. Takumi pressed a few buttons as it came to life, before placing it on the ground.

“Just listen.”

A set of drums and strum of an electric guitar kicked-off the song. Takumi looked up from the music player to Bunji and gave him a cheeky smile.

“Wh-what?”

“Ya wanna dance?”

Bunji let out a sort of breathy laugh due to embarrassment. “I-I don’t kno—“

“Come on, it’ll be fun. I’ll show you.” He offered a hand out to Bunji. “It’s easy.”

Bunji rolled his eyes as he took his partner’s hand and stepped closer to where they were seeing almost eye to eye.

“Do you want to lead, or should I?”

“Yo-you lead. I have no, idea wh-what I’m doing.”

“Okay just, put your left hand on my shoulder. And I’m gonna put my left on your waist, like this.” He then took Bunji’s right hand in his. “Just follow my lead.” As the couple began to sway to the music, Dolores O’Riordan’s voice poured out the speaker.

♫ Oh, my life

Is changing everyday

In every possible way

And oh, my dreams

It’s never quite as it seems

Never quite as it seems ♫

As Takumi guided, Bunji looked down at the floor to keep track of where his feet were. “Just look at me. It’s okay.” Takumi whispered. Bunji turned his gaze up.

“I’m ba-bad at this.”

“Don’t be silly, you’re doing great. Just loosen up a little. Be yourself.”

The song began to pick up speed.

♫ I know I felt like this before

But now I’m feeling it even more

Because it came from you

Then I open up and see

The person falling here is me

A different way to be ♫

The music cued for a change of pace, causing Bunji to take initiative to speed up the duo.

“Ca-can we do, the spin th-thing?”

Takumi smiled as he broke away from Bunji and ushered his arm up, before crouching slightly as he spun. Bunji laughed. There was something endearing about seeing Takumi make an effort to get on his level. Plus watching him try to spin was, in general, funny to watch.

♫ I want more

Impossible to ignore

Impossible to ignore

And they’ll come true

Impossible not to do

Impossible not to do ♫

To Bunji’s surprise, as Takumi came back to meet up he didn’t place his hand back to Bunji’s waist. Instead, opting to take Bunji’s left hand and place it on his own waist instead. Bunji stiffened as his fingers caressed the subtle curve of Takumi’s hip.

“Relax. I’ll go where you go.”

♫ And now I tell you openly

You have my heart so don’t hurt me

You’re what I couldn’t find

A totally amazing mind

So understanding and so kind

You’re everything to me ♫

For a few steps Bunji was stable, until he became overwhelmed. His mind rushed with thoughts as his feet rushed from anxiety. It all came to a standstill once Bunji lost his footing from a clothes pile and fell backwards onto the bed. Takumi came with him, catching himself with his hands as he looked down at Bunji.

“Guess th-this is pay-payback from yesterday, huh?”

The light from the window casted a glimmer in Bunji’s eyes while his short black bangs slid away from his round face, Takumi paying extra attention to his nose. For him, Bunji’s nose was his most unique quality. The little quirk he had of wrinkling it whenever he was nervous or excited always seemed to make Takumi smile, but if someone were to ask him why the simple act of a twitchy nose made him happy, he couldn’t give an answer. It simply just did.

The moment was quiet as the two stared at one another. And as the moment progressed, Takumi slowly lowered himself and planted a soft kiss on Bunji’s lips. He counted the seconds. One, two, three, four, five, and then he parted. After he separated Bunji looked up with a smile on his face, however Takumi’s face was the exact opposite. “I’m sorry.” Takumi’s voice was hushed. Bunji’s smile disappeared as he brought his hand up to caress his lover’s face.

“Why?”

“Cuz—“

It took Takumi a second to gather his thoughts.

“Cuz I’m such a terrible boyfriend. We hardly do stuff like this, ya know? We don’t go on a lot of dates. We don’t hold hands. We don’t do things that other couples our age do. Dude, even Itsuki and Taniko were still affectionate when we were in the gym. They’d make out and stuff. Why aren’t we like that?”

“You-you’re comparing a-apples to oran-oranges, you know tha-that. Our cir-circumstances are different-rent from theirs. They’re th-the average.”

Bunji then returned the kiss before continuing.

“Do-don’t worry about wha-what other pe-people do.”

Takumi shook his head in understanding.

“Good, no-now let me up. I ne-need to pee.”

“Too much info.” Takumi snickered as he backed up and let Bunji go.

As Takumi stayed in his room listening to music to keep himself calm, Bunji stepped out and started to make his way to the toilet. That was until something caught his eye. As he turned to open the bathroom door, a piece of paper poked from under the bedroom door that stood at the end of the small hallway. Turning his attention to the out of place paper, Bunji cocked his head to one side as he walked over and bent down. Fitting his fingertips under the door, he was able to pull the page completely out. Bringing it to his face, his heart sunk to the pit of his stomach. Written on the white page in black pen was a short four sentence note.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I’ve pushed away and hurt so many people.

Now I really don’t have anyone.

I’m so alone.

As he read over the note he could feel his body go numb. “Please be okay, for the love of god!” He thought as he brought his trembling hand to the doorhandle. Opening the door only a few centimeters he narrowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. All the curtains had been closed, the only light being from the crack in the door. A smell, which Bunji could only sight as being close to rotten eggs, flocked out the door. A figure of a young woman laid motionless on the queen sized bed, her back to the door. The white and periwinkle sheets were covered in dried blood. As soon as he saw the blood, Bunji closed the door and backed away. A wave of nausea and dizziness overtook him. Slowly he got to the ground in case he ended up passing out and slid the note back under the door, hiding it out of sight.

“No, ple-please no.”

He put his forehead to the cool wooden flooring trying to gather his thoughts. He couldn’t believe what he just saw. He couldn’t bear to tell Takumi, how could he? Mental images ran through his mind. The nurse’s dangling feet, the coach’s deformed face, watching the door close on Itsuki, Taniko’s hair as she threw herself at the window, now the bedsheet coated in blood. “Take me away! Please someone! I don’t want to be here!” All he wanted was for someone to hit him so he’d wake up. He’d be in his own bed, everyone would be okay, and things would be just like normal. It was all just a nightmare.

“Bunji?”

Bunji was snapped back to reality. He felt Takumi’s hands on his shoulders as he rested against the wall. He could hear his own heartbeat pound in his ears.

“Bunny, say something please!”

Bunji’s face was pale. His dark brown eyes staring off into nothing. Takumi moved his right hand from Bunji’s shoulder down to Bunji’s hand and clasped it tightly.

“Everything’s going to be okay, but I need you to say something! Can, can you feel my hand? Just shake your head yes or no.”

Bunji nodded.

“Okay, I need you to tell me what happened so I can help.”

“I ca-can-ca-can’t—“

Bunji struggled to get the words out his mouth as he looked in the direction of Nagisa’s room.

“Aye, no, Bun, look at me. Tell me what happened.”

Bunji shook his head no frantically.

“Alright, I’m going to get up, okay? I’m not going to leave, I’m just stepping over to look at something. I’ll be right back.” After saying this, Takumi took his hands away and rose to his feet. Turning in the direction of the room, he reached for the door-handle.

“Don’t!”

Takumi jolted his hand back and turned to Bunji, however he was too stunned to say anything.

“Do, do yo-you remember, when we we-we-were at the school, an-and you told me not to lo-look at the body. A-about how som-somethings are better no-no-not seen.”

At first Takumi’s face was blank, but as what Bunji was saying pieced together in his head, it clicked. Takumi’s expression shifted to a mixed look of shock, hurt, and anger before he slumped over to the wall. The boys set facing each other as their backs were against opposite sides of the cramped hallway. Takumi folded his arms across his eyes and held back his tears. “What the fuck Nagisa!” He leaned his head back against the wall and lowered his arms to his knees. “I‘m done! My brain can’t mentally handle anymore! Just, why? Why! I just feel so...angry! Like I want to yell at her, scream, why would you do this, things will get better. But, I also feel, kinda relieved. I feel like I’m evil for thinking that, but I do.”

Bunji frowned slightly before mustering up the courage to speak. “Yo-you’re not evil.”

“I feel like I am. What kind of person would be relieved their big sister died?”

“D-do yo-you know why, you feel, th-that way?”

“Because she was fucking crazy!” Takumi didn’t hesitate. He then banged the palm of his hand on the floor out of frustration. After a few hits he stopped and relaxed his body once more. “Sorry.”

“It-it’s okay.”

“She just...I, I know it’s not her fault, it’s the bipolar, but dude, she scared me so bad. At first, when I heard she had a mental breakdown at work I didn’t think it was that bad. But then she was fired, and sent to a hospital, and then my mom was like, oh come live with us. That’s when I thought, oh shit, cuz when she moved in that’s when I saw, in person, how bad things were. And I know my mom wanted to help, Nagisa’s her daughter and you never give up on family, and I get the feeling my mom felt like she needed her kids back. When Saori left for college last year, and me not being that far off from graduating, I could tell my mom got really, lost? I don’t think that’s the right word. But it’s just like, having her, Nagisa, here made our lives hell. My dad would just nod and shake his head to anything my mom said, but when my mom wasn’t around he’d openly talk about how much of a strain Nagisa was on their relationship. He took me out to Hashinishi’s one day, just us guys, and while we were eating he asked how I felt about Nagisa moving back in, and I said I kinda wanted know when she’d leave, then he just gave me this look like, yeah I know how ya feel. Even Saori didn’t want to come visit, she wanted nothing to do with us. And at first things weren’t that bad. It was like, when Taniko was saying that stuff about her mom, I kind of understood where she was coming from because Nagisa was the same way. She hardly ever came out her room, she was very withdrawn, she was on antidepressants, but after about, I wanna say four weeks, she changed completely, like a whole different person!”

“Wh-what, happened?”

Takumi sat up and held up his pointer finger. “One time, this was the first time something big happened, my mom went to Nagisa’s room to confront her about why she wasn’t taking her meds, cuz I guess she wasn’t. And I could hear them start fighting and shouting, and it got physical. And, you wanna know why my sister refused to take her medication. Cuz she couldn’t get off, that’s why! She made it loud and clear, and I heard her yell it through my closed door and with music playing! Like come on, I don’t need to know that! Or, another time, my dad brought a huge pudding dessert home with him, and I got the last piece. Then later that night Nagisa finally left her room and I guess realized there was no more pudding. She runs back upstairs, kicks my door in, and starts screaming at me for eating it! Like really awful things, like how I should die, how I’m selfish, a fucking liar, disgusting, confused. She wanted to get violent, but I didn’t want to hit her or anything cuz I didn’t know if I’d be in the wrong, so I just screamed for my mom.” Takumi then raised a third finger. “One other time, I was in the living room doing homework, and I see my mom run down the stairs and go out the front door. And Nagisa chases after her. They were fighting about something, I don’t know what, but Nagisa bolted down the stairs after her. And they go out into the front, and I can see them from the window.” Takumi held his hand up and pretended to hold something as he swung it downward. “And Nagisa is just bashing my mom’s face in with her phone. The screen was cracked. Mom’s face was all bloody. But, Nagisa wasn’t always like that, she had good days too, but after all that I was terrified of her. And when I tried bringing it up to my mom, she’d just say the same thing like always. Your sister’s sick, you need to support her, you can’t just abandon family. I get it! She’s your daughter, but what about me!? I’m your son! Do I not matter? Does Saori not matter? Does dad not matter? There’s a point where I just can’t take it anymore, like when she—“

Takumi shut down before he finished his sentence. His body tensed and right eye twitched involuntarily.

“Taku, de-deep breath.”

Takumi swallowed hard before taking in a gulp of air.

“She—“

He could feel his throat go dry and tighten. He couldn’t bring himself to say it to Bunji’s face. Takumi buried his face in his knees. He felt so small, like his own house was swallowing him whole, suffocating him.

“She made out with me.”

Takumi’s voice was hushed and raspy as if he were about to cry. Bunji was still for a moment waiting for his partner to continue, When nothing came, Bunji scooted himself across the wood floor and in front of Takumi.

“Ta-Takumi, I ne-need you, to look at me.”

“No.” Takumi whimpered. Bunji placed his hands up to Takumi’s face and guided his head upward to meet Bunji’s gaze.

“Sh-she didn’t touch, yo-you, right? Be-be honest.”

Takumi slowly shook his head no as a few tears slid down the side of his face. Bunji stroked his thumb softly over Takumi’s cheek, catching a stray tear.

“It’s o-okay to cry.”

Takumi’s face tightened as he used his arm to hide his eyes. Bunji sat with him in the quietness of the hall. For Bunji, he felt conflicted. He’d just seen the body of a girl who was clearly at her lowest point. He couldn’t stop visualizing that last sentence, I’m so alone. Bunji could imagine that phrase summoning up all her sadness at once. He couldn’t imagine what this situation did to her already fragile mental state. But then there was Takumi, completely broken down and hurt by his sister’s actions. From his description she sounded more like an unstable parasitic monster rather than family. Bunji didn’t know which to believe. All he could do was comfort the only person he had.

“It, it was late at night, and I’d just finished studying. I went to go to the kitchen, to grab a snack. I was sitting at the table. She just came inside from smoking in the backyard, and she sees me. She comes to sit at the table, then she starts interrogating me. Why am I still up, what am I doing, what class was I studying for. And, she goes to get up, I think she’s about to leave, but she hovers over me. She asks if I’m only into guys, I say yes. She asks if you and me are dating, I say yeah. And then she gets weird. She asks if I’m a virgin, I say yes. Then she asks me if I’ve ever kissed a girl before, I say no. And then says, well how do you know if you’re gay if you’ve never even kissed a girl? I start to get angry and I’m like, cuz I just know! I guess she could tell I was pissed because she was all like, I’m so sorry, I’ll stay out of your business. And then she tries to give me a hug to say she’s sorry, and I don’t even want to look at her. And she guilt trips me by saying, you don’t want to give me a hug, you don’t love your big sis? So then I feel bad, go to give her a hug, and then she just—“

Takumi slammed his fist to the ground.

“Bunji, it was so bad! I could feel her fucking tongue in my mouth, and her breath tasted like tabaco! And then she walked off like nothing happened! It was so gross! I’m glad she’s dead!”

Bunji wrapped his arms around Takumi, cradling him.

“I-I’m so-so sorry. Is tha-that why you did-didn’t want me over?”

Takumi managed to chuff up a faint “Yea-“. As a few minutes past, Bunji ran Takumi through another set of breathing exercises till he managed to calm down.

“One, tw-two, three, and out.”

Takumi let out a drawn out breath as he broke the embrace. “I think I’m good.” He then focused on Bunji’s face. “Did she um, leave a note?”

Bunji’s heart skipped a beat and he paused for a moment.

“N-no, I-I didn’t see, one.”

“Of course not, why would she.” Takumi sighed and ran his hands down his face. “Alright.” Once he gained his composure he stood and adjusted his unbuttoned school shirt.

“Let’s grab the bat and get outta here. This place is disgusting. “

As Takumi went to retrieve the aluminum bat from his room, Bunji stood and stretched his arms up. After a few seconds Takumi returned with the bat. Looking down as he twisted the bat in his hands, his eyes looked blank.

“Are you sure you didn’t see a note?”

Bunji lied through his teeth. “I did-didn’t see-see a note.”

Takumi looked straight at Bunji.

“Ya promise?”

“I swe-swear.”

。 。 。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOREIGN WORD GLOSSARY
> 
> Shin-Chan — Shin-Chan is the mischievous main character of Crayon Shin-chan (クレヨンしんちゃん), also known as Shin Chan, a Japanese manga as well as an animated series written and illustrated by Yoshito Usui (comic artist) and Shin-Ei Animation, that began in the early 1990s. It follows the adventures of the five-year-old Shinnosuke "Shin" Nohara and his parents, baby sister, dog, neighbours, and friends and is set in Kasukabe, Saitama Prefecture of Japan.
> 
> Sakanaction — サカナクション (Sakanaction) are a Japanese rock band from Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan. Their music is a fusion of alternative rock, electronic, pop, and new wave styles. The song featured in this chapter is Wasurerarenai (忘れられない).
> 
> The Cranberries — The Cranberries were an Irish rock band formed in Limerick, Ireland, in 1989 by lead singer Niall Quinn, guitarist Noel Hogan, bassist Mike Hogan, and drummer Fergal Lawler. Quinn was replaced as lead singer by Dolores O'Riordan in 1990. The band officially classified themselves as an alternative rock group. The song featured in this chapter was Dreams.


	4. Alone Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes being alone is best to let your true-self blossom.

**Chapter 4**

For a split moment Bunji’s heart held out hope. Hope that there’d be someone, anyone to welcome him home. His brother’s playful yet irritating singing as he replayed the same song, Animal Samurai, on loop. The smell of his mom’s chicken nanban. Or his dad’s goofy Stitch impression. He could remember the last time he’d seen them. His mother rushing to get ready for work as a recruitment consultant. She made a Spanish omelet for her youngest son; one hand putting up her hair, the right prodding up the omelet from the pan with cooking chopsticks, reminding Bunji to take his daily pill as she did so. The six-year-old, Shouta, sat at the table watching a YouTube video of Hana Kappa clips on his tablet, dreading going to elementary school. Mr. Sasaki waving his oldest son goodbye, before diving onto the computer that was his stay-at-home job. Bunji would walk in and they’d all be there waiting for him, ready with open arms. Nevemind the barren driveway, because, despite everything, he had to have some hope they’d be there. However, that hope fleeted once he turned the key in the lock.

“Mo-mom, Dad? I-I’m home.” Bunji yelled as he made his way up the short entrance hallway. The boys kicked off their shoes as they waited for any type of response. “Sho-Shouta!?” Bunji set the messenger bag on the ground, before stepping up from the mud-room and taking a look around. No answer ever came. Nothing but an empty living room and abandoned kitchen. Bunji stood there petrified. He could feel hot tears roll down his face, although instead of crying he could hear himself begin to chuff out a sort of nervous laugh.

“Th-they...”

“Bunny, it’ll be fine. Stay right here.” Takumi said calmly before brushing past Bunji and making his way further into the house, metal bat in hand.

“Bunji’s Dad?”

Takumi took a slight left and then straight ahead, past the living and dining room combo, and into the main hall that connected the three bedrooms, bathroom, and toilet. Directly across the hall was Mr. and Mrs. Sasaki’s room. Sliding the door open Takumi looked around. To the right was the married couple’s bed, still made. And to the left was Mr. Sasaki’s workstation. Takumi’s own reflection was reflected back in the large drawing tablet’s coal-black screen. Now starting to panic, he left Bunji’s parents’ room and rushed up the hall to Bunji’s room, passing up the bathroom on the right. The bright maya blue walls of the bedroom caught his eyes as the afternoon sun trickled in through the two long vertical windows opposite the door. On the left wall was a white sliding door that led into a tatami room, which Shouta called his own. “Shouta? Big bro and I are here. If you’re hiding you can come out.” Takumi said as he slid the door open. Stepping over a few toys, he made his way over to the room’s storage closet, hoping to find the little boy in his usual hiding place, but to no avail. Only a folded up futon and Doraemon sheets. Closing the closet door, Takumi took a few seconds to calm himself.

“Fuck, what do I do? What do I tell him?”

He could feel the adrenaline start to rush, his hands trembling so violently he dropped the bat; hitting the tatami with a thud.

“We—we, need to be calm s-so we can think th-things over. Getting con-control on yo-your emotions is the, fi-first step before we-we do anything.”

Bunji’s words came to mind. Takumi stared down at his shaking hands as he slowly took hold of his left with the right, stroking his thumb across the skin as a self-soothing technique.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

After about a minute or so, Takumi put on a brave face as he exited the room’s second door that went out to the front of the house, making a complete loop. As he walked past a set of windows and sliding glass door to his right and the kitchen to his left, he headed over to the mudroom entrance. He could see Bunji sitting on the step-up with his back turned. He was looking down at something. As Takumi drew closer, he could see that it was Taniko’s pink and blue sneakers. Bunji had dug in the bag and retrieved the white folded up towel, which now sat unrolled on the floor of the mud-room and set the pair of sneakers alongside their own. On the towel sat Taniko’s glasses and school uniform bow.

“They’re-re de-dead, ar-aren’t they?”

“They’re not dead Bunny.” Takumi took a seat next to his distraught friend. “Look, I know everything sucks, but at least your house is safe. Maybe your family went off somewhere to wait all this out. But for right now we can’t worry about them, we need to worry about ourselves. We’ve both been through a lot today, so let’s just calm down and settle in here for the night. We can figure out where they are and make a plan tomorrow.”

“So, the-they went off with-thout me?”

Takumi wanted to say something in rebuttal to assure him that they were okay. His mouth even opened slightly, but he couldn’t find the words. Instead he sat there completely dumbfounded for a moment before changing the subject entirely.

“I’ll go check out the kitchen. I’m pretty hungry. What about you, you up for eating something?”

He then stood and made his way over to the kitchen. The kitchen table sat in the back of the living room area, with the island that housed both the gas stove with built in grill and the sink facing towards it. To the left of the island was a rack of assorted dish-ware, cabinets, coffee maker, microwave oven, and the refrigerator. In-between the island and the rest of the kitchen supplies, on the back wall stood a glass door with installed cat door. Taking a look in the fridge, Takumi could see mainly assorted containers of leftovers, a carton of eggs, along with a few beers placed on the bottom shelf. A spoiled carton of milk making the rest of the inside of the refrigerator smell sour. He picked up a tupperware at random, cracked up the lid, and placed it to his nose. It was cooked rice with bonito flakes, however as he sniffed, he took in an off musky odor.

“Welp, that’s no good.”

“Ca-can you hand-hand me my mi-mind candy? They sho-should be I-I-in a pillbox, in th-the cabinet.” Bunji yelled over from his spot on the step.

“Sure thing.”

Takumi closed the refrigerator door and focused his attention to the penny painted cabinets. Reaching inside, he grabbed the rainbow-colored pill organizer, and hesitated. Glancing back to the refrigerator, he eyed the calendar on the front door. Going four days from last Thursday, landing on Monday, July 6th. Turning back to the pill box and lifting up the Monday tab revealed an empty slot.

“Uh, what day do you want me to take from? The only days that are full are Friday through Sunday.”

“Fri-Friday’s fine. I-I us-usually take th-them in the mornings. Bu-bu-but, I haven’t ta-taken anything I-in, days. I need som-something, t-to help me, focus.”

Takumi took it upon himself to refill the box on behalf of Bunji. Grabbing the white bottle from the cabinet and dolling out tablets for Thursday, Wednesday, and lastly Monday. He didn’t bother putting the tablet in the Monday compartment, instead opting to put it on the side as he retrieved a cup. As he began running the cup under the tap, a paper on the counter pulled his attention. As he turned off the fosset, the thick blue marker jumped out at him from the page.

“Hey, I found something!”

Takumi then picked up the note as he brought the tablet and cup of water over to Bunji.

“Wha-what is, it?”

Takumi handed the medicine and cup over before answering. “It’s a note from your dad I think. It says, went to pick up Bunji from school. Please take Shou and go to your Sister’s. We’ll meet up with you in Kumamoto. Love you, stay safe.”

After Bunji gulped down the water his expression dropped.

“D-dad ne-ne-never—“

“No, Bun don’t worry about that! Focus on the good news! We know where you’re mom and Shouta are, or, at the very least where they most likely could be. Do you know who your dad was talking about when he said your sister? Like where they’d be going? City, not just prefecture.”

Bunji took a few more sips of water before he responded. “Ye-yeah. Aun-Aunt Iroka. She li-lives, in Ashikita.”

“Dude, that’s great! Now we know where they are and we can make a plan to get to them. We can rest here for tonight, and then in the morning we can get up early, get ready, and start making our way there.”

“Ye-yeah...”

Bunji set the cup of water next to him before leaning back and laying on the floor, eyes taking in the detail of the ceiling. Takumi placed a hand on Bunji’s knee and gave it a brief reassuring pat.

“We’ll find them.”

He then joined Bunji on the floor as they laid in silence. The hot humid air encompassing them as Bunji brushed a hand over his brow to wipe away a strand of sweat.

“Man...ya know today’s the sixth.”

Bunji turned his head over to Takumi.

“Re-really?”

“Yep.” Takumi took a brief moment to think before meeting Bunji’s gaze. “Let’s do something!”

Bunji rolled his eyes. “Writing wi-wishes, i-is for-or-or little kids.”

“Nah, it’ll be good for us.” Takumi then pushed himself up, sitting up with his hands in his lap. “We could use a little fun right now.”

“N-no, I’ll pa-pass.”

“Come on Mr. Buzzkill, just listen to what I have to say. What about this, since we’re leaving tomorrow, we can celebrate Tanabata early. We’ll write out our wishes today, put them to the side, we could start a fire and just hang out, and then in the morning we can hang our wishes up before we leave. How’s that, sound like a plan?”

The only reply Takumi got was a sort of agreeable groan. Takumi let out a soft laugh that mixed with a sigh as he put a hand on Bunji’s stomach.

“I bet you’re hangry.”

A few short minutes later Bunji found himself sitting at the kitchen table, writing his Tanabata wish on a torn piece of printer paper that he’d grabbed from his dad’s work area, while Takumi fried eggs over the gas-powered stove. “Mr. Sasaki, the chef said your meal’s done.” Takumi called in a qualitative voice. Bunji snorted slightly. “Ve-very funny.” Takumi placed the glass plate in front of his beau before taking a seat. After Bunji was a couple bites in, Takumi pressed a lighthearted question as he began writing his own wish. “So, do my eggs hold up to your mom’s?” Bunji took another bite before pausing, taking in the question as if it were something he was deeply contemplating, which made it all the funnier when he answered with, “Pretty shi-shit actually.”. Takumi smiled and looked up from his writing. “Well I know if you made eggs they’d be shit too. But at least you’re honest, I’ll give ya that.” He then gestured over to Bunji’s own paper with his marker. Bunji slid over the scrap to Takumi, who in turn read it over.

Please let me be a cat in my next life, things will be simpler then.

Takumi cracked a side smile. “Dude, same.” As Bunji continued to eat his late lunch, a funny thought crossed Takumi’s mind. “Humor me on this, what if, in a past life, Ham was your owner and you were his cat.” Bunji was amused at the thought. “We-well he’s proba-probably really happy, i-I-I‘m his owner now. H-he gets, to be, la-lazy, fat, and ha-have lots of love, and food.” Takumi then drew a doodle of a Cheshire-looking cat at the bottom of the paper and then passed it back to Bunji. “There now it’s done.”

“Wha-what’d yo-you write?”

Takumi picked up his piece and read off the wish. “I wish that I wouldn’t let other people’s words or actions affect me.”

Bunji took another bite of his eggs after giving a sort of sympathetic smile. “I-I th-think that’s a go-good wish.”

“Ya think so?”

Bunji nodded after taking the last bite. As he slightly pushed away the plate, Takumi shifted topics.

“So, what are we gonna use for fire starter?”

“Oh....uh.” Bunji sat thinking till he was hit with an idea. “Ho-hold on!” Getting up from the table, he rushed over in the direction of his parents’ room and out of sight.

“Well, alrighty then.”

Takumi then reached over and picked up Bunji’s plate. As he walked over and put said plate in the sink, a photo on the sofa’s side table caught his eye. Walking into the living room, he squinted to focus his eyes on the picture frame. A thirteen-year-old Bunji, with a huge smile going from ear to ear, wore a white gi, as he held up a certificate and an orange belt in his hands. Takumi smiled as he picked up the photo and took a seat on the sofa.

“Such a goober.”

“So-sorry, I’m ba-back!” Bunji yelled as he came back into the room holding a stack of papers. He set the stack on the coffee table before joining Takumi on the sofa.

“Wha-what, you looking a-at?”

“Mini you in Ju-jutsu. Did you just get your orange belt?”

Bunji shook his head yes before Takumi handed him over the picture. “Th-that was when I, we-went to Chuuki. The-there was this ol-older boy there. His na-na-name was Iza-Izawa, but ever-ryone called him, Teru.”

“How’d he go from Izawa, to Teru? Iza I could understand, but Teru?”

“Be-ca-cause, he was bald an-and looked, li-like a Teru, Teru Bo-Bozu, an-and, his first na-na-na, name had Teru in, it, I-I think. But man, h-he us-used to kick my butt, al-al-all, the time when we sparred.”

“Did you stop going cuz he kicked your ass every week?” Takumi asked jokingly.

“Don-don’t be stupid.” Bunji replied setting back down the photograph in its rightful place. “In a-all honesty, I-I-I don’t know, why I quit.” He sat in self-reflection for a moment. “I don’t know, ma-ma-maybe, I got busy. I had, mo-more school work, I-I joined the mid-middle school jum-jumprope team. And, th-the dojo wa-wa-was all, th-the way in, Ichiki,ku-ku-ku-ku, shikino. Maybe, I go-got bored with-th-th it? Like ma-maybe, ge-ge-getting an orange be-belt was enough for, m-me? Or, I-I’m making, excuses. People, always sa-say I’m a-a quitter, be-because, I drop out of-of-of things...D-do you think, I’m a quitter?”

“No ya dingus. Maybe both of us need to stop caring about what other people say. Just because you didn’t get a black belt doesn’t make you a quitter. I’d say an orange was pretty good for someone in your situation. And I’m not using the ADHD as an excuse, but you’ve always had trouble keeping with, anything. So the fact you stuck it out with Ju-jutsu for, however long it takes to get an orange belt.”

“Th-three years.”

“See, three years is a long time to dedicate to something! That’s not a quitter! That shows you’re a fighter with integrity. Fuck, even just joining a dojo and learning a martial art is more than what I could do, ever. I mean, like, even my dad sometimes says I’m stupid for doing art, but that doesn’t stop me from drawing. Don’t let idiotic people tell you you’re something you’re not.”

Bunji propped his elbow on the sofa’s arm and rested his head on his hand. “Wh-why can’t you, gi-give you-yourself, these confi-fi-dence boost speeches?”

“Because it’s easier to examine someone else’s flawed logic than it is your own.” Takumi then leaned himself closer to Bunji, being within whispering distance. “But hey, it shows because you kicked my ass yesterday.”

For a split moment both boys laughed; Bunji playfully pushing Takumi away and Takumi rebutting with their typical rough-housing, however Bunji went quiet. Feeling that saying that may have made Bunji dwell back on Taniko, Takumi shifted gears. “What’s all this?” He asked sitting up and tapping the stack of papers on the table. Picking up the top paper, a large red 75% marked the top of the page.

“Just, so-some schoolwork.”

As Takumi scanned through more of the papers, he noticed the dates, some of which dated all the way back to 2022.

“Dude Bun, some of this is from middle school!”

“My mom wa-wanted to, keep my, sco-sco-scores to see how I-I was doing in class.”

“Yeah, but still. She could’ve thrown some of this out once you went into high school. This just makes me think she’s a crazy hoarder...Don’t tell her I said that.”

“I know, I know. Th-thats why I, wan-wa-want to get, rid of it.”

Takumi took out a vanilla colored sheet, at the top in bold black letters read Report Card - Bunji Sasaki. A side comment from his homeroom teacher being, ‘Sasaki’s written work is untidy which results in unnecessary errors, and talks out of turn’.

“Okay, ma-maybe not that. My mom pro-probably, wants it.”

After an hour of sorting through papers, gathering more fire starter and other materials, along with preparing a fire pit in the unfenced side-yard, Takumi stared into the refrigerator.

“Sorry, I-I-I took, so long. I never go-got to pee, at your house.” Bunji spoke up as he walked into the kitchen placing a pale pink lighter on the counter next to Taniko’s bow, hotel towel, and a folded-up blanket. Takumi turned to face Bunji, holding a Sapporo branded beer can in his hand.

“Are, are yo-you going to drink, th-that?”

“Yeah, you want one?”

“N-no, I’m good. I-I’d, rather no-not drink, my dad’s, beer.”

Picking up the lighter Takumi cocked a grin. “Suit yourself.” The boys then carried the remainder of their things outside to the fire pit, Takumi the lighter, beer, and bow, and Bunji with the blanket, towel, and a bottle of water. Placing the materials beside the pit, Takumi crouched down in front of the pile of papers and burnable garbage and began to flick the lighter to life. The small flame danced in the evening air as the sun began to set, coating the sky in an orange tent that faded to deep blue. The flame struck the corner of a page and the paper slowly began to go up in smoke. As his partner attended to the fire, Bunji unfolded the blanket and placed it on the ground. With the fire picking up traction, the couple took to sitting on the blanket, watching it roar. The sound of a cracking tab soon followed. The sharp bitter taste of the beer met Takumi’s lips as he brought the can to his mouth. For a split second he wanted to spit it out but he swallowed anyway.

“Oh, oh god...that’s—“

“Yo-you good?”

“Yeeah, just...really bitter.”

Bunji laughed. “No-not, what you, thought I-it would be?”

Takumi shook his head no as he went for another sip.

“Why a-a-are you, still drinking?”

“I don’t know.” Takumi managed to say as he gulped down the current sip. He then sat the can down and sighed. “This is probably going to sound really messed up.”

“Ju-just sa-say it.”

“Is it weird this feels kinda nice? I mean, I wouldn’t wish this situation on anybody, but, right now it’s pretty good. No school, no Nagisa, just hanging out with my love bud, I got to try really shitty beer, you tried my shitty eggs. Played some pretty good Cranberries songs...Fuck. Does that make me a bad person? I shouldn’t speak bad about my sister, I loved Nagisa, but sometimes she really hurt me. Some days I’d come home and just wish she was gone. I even, kinda wanted her to-” Takumi paused to find the right words. “Off herself, just to prove she really was that sick. But I didn’t really think she’d...”

Bunji placed a hand on his. “I know.”

Takumi was quiet for a moment before he continued. “Ya know, if I had to be stuck with anyone through this, I’m glad it was you guys.” His eyes went wide once he realized he’d said the wrong thing; the word, guys. Bunji however didn’t seem bothered by it. “You...” Takumi corrected. Bunji took intuitive and reached for the towel and bow. With the items in his grasp, he turned directly to Takumi. “Yo-you wanna, sa-say goodbye?”

Without any words necessary, Takumi simply nodded and the boys prepared to let go of a piece of their friend. With the bow now folded up in the towel, Bunji held it with both hands as Takumi counted down.

“Three, two, one.”

Bunji then dropped the bundle into the fire, flying embers striking in the dim light. Takumi felt like he should have cried, thoughts of sadness and regret, but tears never came. Instead only happy memories flooded to mind. Bunji sat back down on the blanket as he watched the towel be engulfed in flames.

“ I don’t know why but, for some reason I understand why Taniko did it, but with Nagisa I’m so, angry. Like I had all this built up hatred towards her. Thinking of Taniko, her suicide seems more, justified? Not justified, no suicide is justified. I just...” Takumi took another sip of beer. “I don’t know.” He looked up toward the sky. “Do you think they’ll get reincarnated together, if that’s even a thing, her and Itsuki?”

“Ma-maybe.”

“I hope so. They deserve that at least. They deserve a lot better. Taniko didn’t deserve any of the stuff that happened to her. Itsuki didn’t deserve to die the way he did. Or I guess, maybe I want to believe they’re together because imagining anything else would be too awful for me. Too painful? But even, just me sitting here, I feel, terrible. Like, why us? Why did we get off scot-free when they didn’t? But then my mind goes back to thinking that it’s just the way things are, things just happen even if it seems unfair. That sometimes people who do bad things get off no problem, and awful things happen to people who do good, without any logic as to why. It’s all, random.”

“I under-under-der-stand, but to-to me, th-th-thinking everything, i-i-is random makes me, fe-fe-feel powerless. It’s like saying I can-can-can’t control anyth-th-thing so why both-th-ther.”

“Maybe we’re both right. There’s some stuff out of our control. Things like other people and nature, we can’t stop. But the one thing we do have control over is ourselves? I’m probably just spewing shit right now. Don’t listen to the cynic guy with the beer in his hand.” A small out of place smile crossed Takumi’s face. “Dude Itsuki was honestly one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, besides you. He could have been a stuck up douchebag, but he wasn’t. He was humble, treated everyone the same, didn’t brag about how much money he had or anything.”

“I-I liked, that, he-he really, lo-loved his family. He was, always sa-saying how he was worried, a-a-about Hina. It re-reminded, m-me of, me and Shouta.”

“You’ll see him again. We’re going to set off in the morning.”

Bunji frowned slightly. “Wh-what if we, can’t?”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

“Di-di-did you hear that old guy, a-at th-the hotel, when we-we first, walked in?”

“Yeah, and?”

“What, i-if, he wa-wa-was right?”

“I don’t think he is. I think everyone’s just been exaggerating everything about the border stuff. I mean I know this is scary, but the defense isn’t going to lock people in here, or at least healthy people. Maybe the border to Hioki, or even if all of Kagoshima is blocked, if you don’t have RALYVI then its fine. The Emperor and Prime Minister wouldn’t just condemn a whole prefecture. Right now everyone’s just scared and jumping to conclusions. Besides, at this point we have two options, stay here till we run out of food and wonder where everyone is, or, work towards getting to your mom and Shouta. If you ask me, and this is just my opinion, I’d rather go find your mom.”

“Yo-you’re right.”

Switching the topic back over to Itsuki and Taniko, Takumi continued before taking one last swig. “Those two could have had fun in any type of situation. Even when we were in that storage closet, they still were affectionate and flirted with each other. One night, I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, but I didn’t say anything, and I just heard them making out.” He then wrapped his arms around himself and imitated a couple in an embrace. “They were like, mmm~ oh yeah. You taste so good~.”

Bunji burred his laugh into his upper arm, playing it off as if it were a cough. “We-well, I mean, I-I don’t blame them.” Takumi became serious once again. “What are ya gettin at?”

“Yo-you remem-memeber, how you sa-said you, wished, we we-were more affectionate like them?”

“Yeah.”

“Well we-we’re all alone...”

Bunji sat looking into Takumi’s eyes. They both took in the moment, filing away a mental snapshot. The way the soft luminescence of the fire framed Takumi’s face. The hum of crickets. The subtle prickly feeling of the blades of grass threatening to poke through the blanket. Bunji felt his own face tense and an overwhelming impulse began to usher him forward. “N-no one, will, be-be-be around to ju-judge.” He then took Takumi’s chin in his fingers and softly guided his boyfriend’s face over to meet his line of sight. “Prom-m-mise.” Takumi leaned in and the taste of crisp bitter beer rushed to Bunji’s lips.

Fireworks.

Thats what Takumi was brought to. The hot humid smothering air of last summer swirling together with puffs of smoke and flashes of shimmering light. Bunji stood beside him, face lit up by an explosion of pink and green. Takumi reached towards the bursts of color, stretching his hand up from the crowd as if he could grab one right as it ignited.

“You’re so warm...”

Bunji with his eyes half open, saw the orange light of the fire catch his partner’s eyelashes in a faint glow. Third cricket, fourth cricket, fifth, sixth. Bunji pulled away and continued to look directly at Takumi.

“Wa-was that, o-okay?”

Instead of a traditional reply, Takumi was still as he felt Bunji’s forehead on his. The two were hushed, glimpsing at one another through the twilight. Takumi leaned in for a longer kiss. For Bunji, this was enough confirmation to keep going. As Takumi became enthralled in the kiss once more, he placed his hands on Bunji’s shoulders. Bunji quickened his pace, guiding Takumi’s hands up to his own face. Takumi could feel his blood rise as he caressed his lover’s face before running his fingers through his hair. Takumi felt oddly at peace. This feeling was a far cry from the kiss he’d had during the late hours of the night in his own kitchen. Even comparing it to their prior kisses seemed wrong. They’d kissed before but not like this. This was different. It was as if this deep urge for intimate contact sprung on from a place of loneliness. As if kissing was an unspoken way of saying, “I’m here, can’t you see me, can’t you feel me? Everyone else might be gone, but you’re not alone. I’m still here, I’m alive.”. And Takumi indeed felt more alive than he had in months; drained by turbulent family affairs. Finding comfort and acceptance in their bleak circumstance that seemed to only allow for tragedy, and held onto it; wrapping himself up in the warmth of the moment. Bunji, with his arms now around Takumi’s neck, began to steadily slide his hands down to his partner’s beltline. Takumi parted, face flushed, and moved Bunji’s hands away from the belt buckle, up to mid-back.

“Aye, don’t be gettin handsy. You gotta work for that.” Takumi’s voice sounded teasing rather than serious. Bunji followed his lead, keeping his hands on Takumi’s back, grasping the white cotton fabric of the uniform shirt, and went about kissing into his neck. Takumi started to sputter, doing his best to hold back laughter. Takumi wanted it to last for as long as it could. Not the kiss itself, but the simple act of feeling another person’s touch, hearing his and Bunji’s shallow breathing interlace with their heartbeats.

“Nah, no-no—Bun-you know I’m tick—” Takumi squirmed out of reflex. “It tickles!” Losing his balance, he tipped over to the right, taking Bunji with him. The two laid facing each other, arms still clasped, although the kiss was broken. Bunji took a few gulps of air to catch his breath.

“S-s-so-sorry.”

“It’s fine. It was great, really. Thank you.”

Bunji smiled. “Be-be-before I, ki-kissed you, my lips, go-got this, tin-tin-tin-tingly feeling. Li-like I needed, to.”

Takumi pulled Bunji closer, nuzzling into his neck. Taking a few sniffs after a couple seconds Bunji backed away slightly. “I-Itsuki, wa-wa-was right, we do smell li-like ass.”

After dumping the water bottle on the fire, the guys retreated to the house to wash up. Takumi went in first, showering in complete darkness, as Bunji tried his best to clean and dry Takumi’s school pants and boxers. Washing them in the kitchen sink, he then wrung them out before grabbing a towel and hand delivering Takumi’s clothes. He knocked briefly before stepping into the bathroom. The yellow light from the candle exaggerating the shadows that casted on the room’s walls.

“I bro-brought, you some stuff.” Bunji then set the lavender scented candle on the side of the sink before plopping down the boxers and towel. “I, pu-put your under-underwear, an-an-and a towel by the sink, fo-for you.” Making his way out with candle and damp pants in hand, Takumi spoke up over the running water.

“Can ya come in here?”

Bunji turned back to look in the direction of the shower room door.

“I need some help getting my back.“

“Ho-how...” Bunji was a little caught off guard. “Do yo-you just wa-wa-want me to come in?”

“Yeah, strip and walk in. its fine, I trust ya.”

Bunji accepted, placed the candle back on the sink, and tossed his dirty uniform off to the side. For a moment he had the idea that Takumi wanted to take things further, especially after the kiss, but that train of thought quickly vanished once he walked in. As Bunji retrieved the candle from the counter and opened the door. He was hit with a wave of steam. Shining the candle in, Takumi sat on the white shower bench as he let the shower head pour over him. On his shoulders and upper back, red splashes of torn scabbed skin and surface level scratches were speckled around. Bunji stood staring for a few seconds, frozen. He wanted to say, “Oh my god!”, or, “Why didn’t you tell me?”, or even just a gasp, but nothing came.

“It kinda burns.”

Bunji frowned as he set the candle on the tub’s inner corner, lighting up the grey-ish blue walls, and picked up a washcloth draped over the faucet. Gently dabbing the cloth on Takumi’s right shoulder, he sighed.

“Taku, li-listen, I-I-I care about you. You, ne-need to stop, the scratching. I ha-hate seeing, yo-you like this.”

“I get it!”

Takumi was shocked by how aggressive his statement was. He sat in silence till he composed his thoughts.

“It’s a habit, I guess. When I get stressed, I just pick and scratch. I didn’t think it was that bad, till I got in the bath and it burned like hell.”

“Yo-you got, to rein, i-i-it in. Be-be a little, kind-kinder, to yourself, th-th-that’s all.”

Bunji then switched shoulders, feeling the warm water run down Takumi’s back.

“I know, yo-you, wa-wa-want to keep things, a-a-all bottled up, but I need you, t-to talk-alk to me. Tell, me-me how, you, feel.”

Takumi was quiet, not saying a word in return. After Bunji finished scrubbing down Takumi’s back, he began to wash his own body, being the first to leave the shower. As Bunji pulled away the button-up shirt from his face, he looked back at the door. Takumi still sat, unmoving, while water rushed. The tiny sting of the hot droplets hitting his skin.

“D-do, yo-you want me, t-to wait for you?”

“No. I’ll be out in a bit. I’m just going to soak for a few minutes.”

“You-you want, the, can-can-candle back I-in there?”

“The dark relaxes me.”

Bunji hesitated slightly as he picked up his dirty clothes, candle, and Takumi’s pants. Stepping out into the hallway and walking across to his room, it seemed like something out of a horror film. He’d expected to see a contorted white figure jump out at him from the blackness. He hurried across the hall and hastily closed the door. Exhaling a breath of relief, Bunji placed the candle on his shelf that housed a collection of Persona 5 figures and EA sports games, before changing into PJs.

As time marched on, Takumi eventually emerged from the bathroom. Walking into Bunji’s room in loose boxers and his towel around his shoulders. As Takumi entered, he could see Bunji staring down at a set of clothes that were draped on a red bean-bag chair near the large shelf placed against the right wall. It consisted of a pair of black jeans, avocado green T-shirt, a small smiling cartoon avocado adorning the front pocket, and a dark navy blue short-sleeve button-up. Takumi eyed Bunji as he set his dirty uniform on the ground. Hearing his other half walk in, Bunji looked up.

“Hey, wa-wa-was your, sho-shower okay? I, se-set yo-yo-your pants, an-and belt on my bed.”

“What are you doing?” Takumi asked as he removed the towel from his shoulders.

“Pi-picking out m-my, clothes fo-fo-fo tomorrow.” Bunji then eyed Takumi’s uniform pants on the bed. “You ne-ne-need some fresh clothes, to-too.”

“Maybe a shirt. Your pants wouldn’t fit me, length wise.”

Bunji, heading into his walk-in-closet, set out to find a suitable shirt. The closet was half his and half Shouta’s, the six-year old’s clothes hung on the right. Grey bins of toys were stacked on the upper shelves above the clothes racks. Going through his assortment of shirts, he pulled out a baggy sea-foam green T with the phrase ‘Same Shit, Different Day’, written on the front in white. “He-here, ya go!” He said as he came out of the closet and tossed Takumi the shirt. Bunji himself wore boxer briefs and a baggy white T shirt as pajamas. A printed stylized picture of a blue sky filled with hot air balloons overlooking a black silhouetted city, took up the majority of the front. Above the picture in red text asked, ‘Did you make it?’. Takumi caught the shirt and put it on, pulling the fabric over his head.

“Gracias.”

Taking to the bed, he then walked over to retrieve his pants, undoing the dark brown leather belt. Bunji cocked an eyebrow.

“Yo-you are-aren’t going, to wear the be-belt tomorrow, are you? I-if we’re riding, th-the bike and wal-walking all, the way to Ku-Ku-Kumamoto, then it’ll st-start to get uncomfortable.”

Takumi sighed. “Yeah I know. It was even starting to hurt when we were in the gym, but I need to wear it or my pants fall down.”

“That’s be-because yo-yo-you’re so freak-freaking skinny!”

Takumi shrugged before pulling the belt out from the pants’ loops and tossing both the belt and the pants over to Bunji. “Set it with your clothes.” Takumi then flopped backwards on the bed, the mattress’s springs squeaking under the sudden weight. While Bunji dropped Takumi’s clothes on the bean bag and went to go get two pairs of socks from the closet, he heard a loud “Fuck!” He quickly stuck his head out the doorway.

“Yo-you okay?”

Takumi propped himself up from the bed and winced. “Yeah I’m fine. I just hit my back on something.” Digging through the orange and white striped sheets, a cherry red Panasonic handheld camcorder emerged.

“S-sorry, I fo-fo-got, it was there.”

Takumi flipped the HC-V180K camcorder open as it sprung to life. The battery symbol at the top of the screen flashing 3%.

“Looks like it still has a charge.”

Bunji took a seat on the bed.

“Gimme.”

Takumi obliged and handed the camera to him. Bunji smiled as he adjusted the camera in his hands, his face appearing almost black as the light from the candle casted at his back. Pressing a small button on the side, there was a faint beep.

“Da-day five of RALYVI li-li-life, and I alre-ready got Taku in my bed.”

“Shut it!” Takumi yelled as he held up his hand to cover the lens. “That’s not what this is!”

Bunji laughed as he stopped the recording. Takumi waddled over on his knees and took the camera from Bunji’s hand. “What else ya got on here? Judging from what you just said you probably got all kinds of gross stuff on this little camcorder.” He said teasingly. Flipping through the videos, Takumi was caught off guard by little snippets of memories captured on video.

June 7th, 2026. The video zoomed in on Shouta sitting on the side yard patio as he ate a Popsicle.

“Sa-sa-say it again.” Bunji’s voice could be heard from behind the camera.

“Why?!”

“So, I-I can show, M-mom and dad.”

Shouta grew a look of embarrassment.

“Come on, wh-where do, babies co-co-come from?”

“It’s like a mom, and a dad, they get married.”

“And?”

“They do stuff.”

“Wha-what, kind of st-stuff?”

“Kissing?...”

“A-and then what?”

“Their kiss makes magic light, and it goes into a ball in the mom’s stomach, and it takes a long time, like maybe a few years or months, and then she poops it out.

April 6th 2026. The camera scanned across the school entrance as students hurried in for the start of the new school year. The camera finally setting on a gappy toothed boy, Yoshi Ogata. He gave the camera a surprised look before covering his face with a paper.

“Sasaki, don’t film me!”

May 15th 2026. Ham laid on the living room floor rolling around in a small pile of catnip, the tiny green bits clinging to the cat’s white and orange fur.

“Da-dad, come see!”

Mr. Sasaki could be heard stepping over from the kitchen, his Stitch printed house-slippers appeared beside Ham. The camera panned up to show Bunji’s dad bending down beside the cat as he fixed his reading glasses.

“I hope you have money.”

“For wha-wha-what?”

“For the cat-cartel. You need to pay them back for Ham’s drugs.”

January 12th, 2026. Bunji slept with his face planted on a white plastic foldout table. He was dressed in the school’s gym uniform, consisting of black jogging pants and white T-shirt; the school’s symbol being printed towards the upper-right on the chest. A larger boy pulled the chair out from under Bunji, sending him to the floor. For a few seconds he sat on the ground till looking up at the camera.

“Morning!” A voice called from the camera director. The other boys in the room seemed to laugh.

“Kono, yo-you took—“

The video ended before Bunji could finish.

January 9th, 2026.

“A-action!”

A short petite girl with long brown hair, Chie Haneishi, pretended to drink the remaining tea from the green tea bottle, before tossing it to another girl wearing a white scarf who sat at a desk. The girl in the scarf then caught the bottle and flung it to the back of the room where it was caught by a messy haired boy. After gripping the bottle, the messy haired boy tossed it out the open door where it landed in a trash can being carried by another student. After the bottle finally went through the chain of events without faulter after nine attempts, the whole group cheered.

December 14th, 2025. Bunji stood amongst a crowd of fellow aged runners, breathing hot air into his hands as he pumped himself up for the annual city marathon. His white and green HOKA trainers standing in stark contrast to the bright blue rubber of the track. Mrs. Sasaki filmed from behind a low fenced barrier.

“I wanna go too.”

Shouta could be heard whining in the background.

The camera tilted towards the left, catching a partial glimpse of the pink blow-up starting archway.

“Shou, hush.”

“I wanna go!”

“Let the camera see how silly you’re being.” His mother then brought the camera to the right. Turning around and panning it near the ground to find the then five year old sitting in the grass, pouting a short distance away from the sidelining crowd.

“You’re too little. You can go next year.”

The boy sat in place, unmoving.

“Stop pouting and come watch Big Bro.”

“Here, I’ll film Bunji. You go talk to him.” Mr. Sasaki said as he gestured for the camera. As the camera switched hands, the video ended on a shot of Mrs. Sasaki’s purple tennis-shoes.

October 30, 2025.

“Go!”

The camera stayed on a set of white school vending machines at the end of a hall. Rounding a corner, a typically masculine and geeky guy, Ichiro Miyake, who was known for his love of gothic fashion, Beserk, and MMA fighting, emerged in the girl’s uniform skirt and purple witch’s hat. Doing a strut down the hall, he posed once he reached Bunji.

“An-and wh-why did you dress up, to-today?”

“Because I wanted to be a sexy bitch!...I mean witch.”

August 17th, 2025. Five-year-old Shouta played Beatsaber to the tune of Megalomania. Bunji making lightsaber sounds as Shouta spun in all directions.

July 3rd, 2025. “I think I got it working.” Mrs. Sasaki said as the camera aimed towards the kitchen floor. She lifted it up to see Bunji eating beef stroganoff. His face was coated in fear once he realized the camera was on him. He motioned for his mother to film in the other direction as he tried to scarf down the noodles he had in his mouth.

“It’s fine, stop being dramatic! Here, I figured out the video—“

The screen went black.

The boys sat there in the stillness till Bunji spoke up.

“I-it died.”

“Yep.”

Takumi then sighed and leaned back with his head on the pillow, setting the camcorder down beside him. Bunji joined him, leaning his head onto Takumi’s shoulder.

“Th-th-that almost, ma-made me, forge-get about, everything go-going on.”

“Yeah, and not a single video of me.” Takumi’s remark was meant to sound playful, but instead he was shocked how bitter it sounded as it came from his own mouth. Bunji’s smile shrank.

“He-hey, that’s no-not fair. Yo-you, you know, I love you.”

Takumi sighed. “I know, I just...” He paused as an image of Bunji walking side by side with a crying Taniko flashed in his mind. “I just keep thinking about what Kiara said. When we were walking to the AZ, she started talking about LGBTQ stuff, cuz I guess she thought Taniko was trans, or queer, or something, and she wouldn’t drop it. It was kinda annoying, but I didn’t say anything because I wanted to be polite. And then she said you and Taniko were a, cute couple. Like what the fuck! Kiara preached on and on about SOGI, how she had LGBTQ friends, and how she was an ally, which she just assumed something about Taniko that wasn’t even true, but it didn’t cross her mind that maybe, just maybe, me and you were a couple! It just makes me so— so angry! It kinda, makes me think, she’s right.”

Bunji lifted his head from Takumi’s shoulder and turned sideways to where he could see his partner’s side profile.

“Ri-right, abo-about what?”

“About you and Taniko being together. If you dated her, or even just another girl, it’d be easier. You wouldn’t get teased, you wouldn’t have to worry about weird looks in public, you’d get to be a normal couple, ya know.”

“Taku, look a-at me.”

Takumi rolled on his side; small buds of tears started to form at the corner of his eyes.

“We-were you, jealous? I did-didn’t like her like th-that, a-and she had Itsu-Itsuki. Is it be-be-because I’m bi? Are you sca-scared I won’t love you, an-anymore?”

Takumi shook his head no. “No, I, I’m just worried that I’m too much of a burden. You have a chance at having a normal life, a normal relationship, and I feel like I’m ruining that for you. My family’s messed up, I’m messed up, you deserve better. I, I don’t know why I can’t just like women and be fucking normal!”

Bunji put his hands on Takumi’s cheeks and stared directly into his eyes.

“Ta-Takumi, Morita, yo-yo-you are normal. It’s okay.”

“I know I shouldn’t care about what other people think, but that stuff gets to me. It’s hard to just ignore the way people look at me. Or if it’s not people being assholes, it’s people being gross. Like what, what about that creepy group, Fukumi and her BL gang, and the other guy, Maeda. If you weren’t dating me, then they wouldn’t have harassed us or taken those pictures.”

“I-I don’t care ab-about th-th-that. It-it’s not, your fa-fault they-they’re jer-jerks and creeps.”

Bunji then slowly got up from the bed and grabbed a necklace from the shelf, before returning.

“Here.”

A silver ring band, the inside being embedded with a fake gold coating, was hung around a thin black chained necklace.

“I do-do-don’t really, get atta-at-attached to stuff like th-this. And I know, it stinks, yo-your’s go-go-got stolen, so, you probably, ne-need this, more th-than I do.”

Unhooking the chain, Bunji slid the ring off and placed it on Takumi’s ring finger.

“I would-wouldn’t give, my pro-prom-promise ring, to just anyone.”

Takumi gave a sort of sad smile.

“So, th-thats why, yo-you were being crabby?”

“No.”

“The-the-then what’s wrong?”

For a moment Takumi was able to keep himself composed, however once he heard the phrase, “What’s wrong?”, it felt like a part of him finally broke. His face contorted as he began to cry.

“I miss my mom!”

He then let himself openly sob.

“I-I miss my dad! And Nagisa, and Saori! I want Itsuki and Taniko here! I want everything to go back to normal!”

Bunji put his arms around Takumi, lifting up the back of Takumi’s shirt and stroking his back as he let Takumi cry into his shoulder.

“I’m scared!”

“I know.”

“And I didn’t mean it! Nagisa wasn’t terrible! I wasn’t jealous of Taniko! Kiara wasn’t annoying! I loved them! I’m sorry, I’m sorry I even said it!”

Bunji, not sure of how to approach the situation, did the only thing he knew best, humor.

“Shh, le-le-let daddy hold yo-you.”

“Don’t be fucking creepy! I’m not a baby!”

Bunji sat up and lifted Takumi still in the embrace.

“Ye-yeah, you are. Come here, bay-be.”

Takumi chuckled through his sobs before letting out a cough.

“You’re a baby too sometimes.”

After a few minutes of play wrestling and coaxing, Bunji managed to guide Takumi out the room, the orange and white blanket rapped around him. As they made it to the living room, Bunji sat his boyfriend down on the sofa and took the candle over to the kitchen. As Takumi sat in the dark, curled up in the blanket, he could hear the sounds of scuffling and something being chopped. About a minute or so, Bunji returned with a plate of sliced cucumber drizzled with honey.

“We-we did-didn’t have, any melon, but th-this tastes, pr-pretty close.”

Taking a seat on the sofa, he placed the candle on the coffee table and gestured the plate to Takumi. As Takumi bit into the cucumber slice he seemed to relax, however a few strands of tears still made their way down his face.

“Le-let me he-help.”

Bunji used the bottom of the blanket as a tissue, wiping Takumi’s cheeks.

“Eat-eating, something, us-us-usually makes me, feel better.”

Once all the cucumbers were gone, Bunji set the plate beside the candle and put an arm around his friend.

“Ya really are too good to me.”

“Nah~.”

The couple talked into the night till they inevitably fell asleep. Bunji’s mind slipping into bizarre amalgamation of thoughts.

Finding himself in a cave clinging onto a rope, across from him, a set of strangers. Bunji didn’t seem to recognize them, only seeming to notice that they were a boy and girl around middle school age, their arms tied up as they dangled from a similar rope. An opening in the cave’s roof allowed moon light to shine on the pair like a spotlight. Below them was a pit of frenzied rats. Bunji closed his eyes as the girl and boy began to be lowered closer and closer to their end fate, however once he opened them, Bunji found himself in the body of the little boy. He braced himself as the rope was lowered further, the rats piling on top of each other to reach the two children. A few rats took hold of the boy’s, or more precisely, Bunji’s shoe, and scurried up his body, perching itself on his shoulder, and biting down on his ear. The girl began to screech as the rats flocked to her. Over time they both were submerged in the rat pit, tiny teeth and claws tearing away. The girl let out a gurgled, “Goodbye my friend.” Before the only sound that met Bunji’s ears was the sound of squealing rats.

Bunji’s eyes shot open. Looking around, the morning sun peered in through the windows. He could feel his heart race in his chest. Taking a moment, he could hear a repetitive shrill meow come in the direction of the side patio. Carefully removing his arm from around Takumi, Bunji left the sofa and walked over to the sliding glass door. There he was, Ham, the usually bright and energetic Turkish Van, was now disheveled and disoriented as he pawed at the glass and subsequently fell over. His face was scratched up and a chunk of his left ear missing. Bunji pressed his face against the glass, as if the meowing from his beloved family pet begged him to be let in.

“Ham...”

He’d thought about opening the door and scooping the little cat in his arms but judging by the looks of things Bunji didn’t want to take any chances. Racing through Shouta’s room and into his own bedroom, Bunji picked up a pair of long socks. He then proceeded to walk down the hall and into the kitchen. Reaching in the cabinet under the sink, he took out a small can of wet cat food, being quiet not to wake Takumi. After getting the can open, he returned back to the sliding door. Placing the can on the floor, Bunji slid the socks over his arms and hands like sock puppets. He slid the door open gently before picking up the can and nudging it over to Ham. Ham continued to shrill till the whiff of cat food reached his nose. To Bunji’s delight, Ham took to the food, gulping down in small bites. This reassured Bunji that all was well.

“Yo-you just, go-got a bit, beat up, huh?”

He then stretched out his hand. Ham bunted his head into his owner’s hand and began to purr.

“You mi-missed me?”

Picking up Ham with both hands, Bunji began to bring the cat inside, however as he went to go hold Ham with one arm and slide the door closed, a low growl omitted from the cat. Before Bunji could even set down the now agitated pet, Ham snapped, as if he was a firecracker that had just been lit, biting and scratching at Bunji’s left arm. “St-stop!” Bunji screamed as he flung the cat off and against the wall before landing on the wooden floor. To his shock the familiar bedspread was tossed over the now crazed feline. Looking up, he locked eyes with Takumi who had a look of pure terror. It didn’t take him long to spring back into action. Turning in the direction of the kitchen, Takumi grabbed the knife Bunji had left on the counter from the night prior. Rushing back over to Ham, he got to his knees and held the knife over the blanket.

“Don’t look!”

Bunji quickly covered his eyes with his hands. It took only a few seconds. There was a high-pitched animalistic screech, a faint popping sound, and yet the meowing still continued for another two stabs before all was silent.

“O-okay, you can look now.”

Bunji took his hands away, tears now streaking down his face. Takumi sat on the ground shaking; the blade of the kitchen knife drenched in blood. The blanket laid motionless, now blotched wine red.

“I-I-I-I th-thought...”

Bunji could feel his legs go numb. His hands shook as he went to slowly take off the sock. He already knew what was coming. As he pulled the white fabric up, his skin became more visible. A scratch here, a scratch there. The sound of the sock hitting the ground followed as he prodded at a set of teeth marks. He couldn’t say anything as he slumped to the floor. Takumi looked over with disbelief.

“Bunny, please don’t tell me you’re...”

。 。 。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOREIGN WORD GLOSSARY 
> 
> Hana Kappa — Hana Kappa (aka Flower Kappa) is an animated kids television show that follows the story of the misadventures of a young unique Kappa (mythical frog creature) called Hanna Kappa. Unlike other flower Kappa's who only have one flower, Hanna Kappa's flower won't stop changing. Through friends and his own abilities Hanna Kappa is able to thwart the villain, Garizoo's, attempts, and make each day more fun than the last. The show began broadcast in 2010, and airs on Cartoon Network and (NHK) a public TV station. 
> 
> Tatami — Tatami is a rush-covered straw mat forming a traditional Japanese floor covering.
> 
> Bonito — Bonito is a popular fish in Japan that is typically not consumed as often fresh for a meal as it is in a dried form. Often bonito is used as flakes to top off rice, dried shavings that are sliced from aged pieces of bonito.
> 
> Tanabata — Tanabata (たなばた or 七夕), meaning "Evening of the seventh"), also known as the Star Festival (星祭り), is a Japanese festival originating from the Chinese Qixi Festival. It celebrates the meeting of the deities Orihime and Hikoboshi (represented by the stars Vega and Altair respectively). According to legend, the Milky Way separates these lovers, and they are allowed to meet only once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the lunisolar calendar. The date of Tanabata varies by region of the country, but the first festivities begin on 7 July of the Gregorian calendar. The celebration is held at various days between July and August. A  
> popular custom relating to the festival is asking for desires to be granted by writing wishes on strips of paper.
> 
> Ashikita — Ashikita (芦北町) is a town located in Ashikita District (葦北郡), Kumamoto, Japan. Ashikita is situated on the south west coast of the island of Kyushu in Southern Japan, and it is known for its attractive coastlines, beaches and its production of citrus fruit.
> 
> Chicken Nanban — Chicken Nanban is deep-fried chicken with tartar sauce, a dish from Miyazaki prefecture in Kyusyu, the southern big island of Japan. “Nanban” means “foreign,” specifically indicating Portugal and Spain, coming from a period back in the 17th century when Japan often traded with these countries.
> 
> TeruTeru Bozu — A teru teru bōzu (てるてる坊主 or 照る照る坊主), literally "shine shine monk") is a small traditional handmade doll made of white paper or cloth that Japanese farmers began hanging outside of their window by a string. In shape and construction they are essentially identical to ghost dolls, such as those made at Halloween. This talisman is supposed to have magical powers to bring good weather and to stop or prevent a rainy day. Teru is a Japanese verb which describes sunshine, and a bōzu is a Buddhist monk (compare the word bonze), or in modern slang, "bald-headed"; bōzu is also used as a term of endearment for addressing little boys.
> 
> Animal Samurai — “Sessha” Animal Samurai (拙者「せっしゃ」アニマル柄) is a children’s song produced by Takashi Deguchi / Morinoki Childrens’ Choir in 2019, and posted under the ColumbiaMusicJP channel in 2020. The song can mainly be found on websites like NikoNiko or YouTube.


	5. The Last Azalea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Standing in a field of Azaleas, pick a few petals from what remains and walk forward into peace.

**Chapter 5**

“You ready?”

Takumi stood in the doorway, bag in right hand, a note in the left. Bunji couldn’t help but reread his wish as he propped himself on the kitchen island.

Please let me be a cat in my next life, things will be simpler then.

A mental image of Takumi rolling the wine stained sheet into a hole pierced his mind. Only a few minutes ago had he been made to say goodbye to his little buddy. He could feel himself be hit with a wave of nausea as he tossed the slip of paper into the garbage.

“Ye-yeah.”

Takumi exited first, and once out the door Bunji began to put on his sneakers, giving one last goodbye to the house he’d called home.

“I-I, I’m off.”

His usual and routine phrase gave him comfort that he’d return eventually. And although not reality, he could faintly hear the familiar, “Have a good day!” from his dad in the recesses of his memory. Finding the fact that his own mind could act to sooth him, Bunji felt it both therapeutic and heartbreaking. The action of leaving was only made more saddening by the sight of the left behind third pair of sneakers and metal baseball bat.

After departing from the house, Bunji saw his partner walk up the neighbor’s front walkway. Stealing the white framed bike with a rear seat made for a small child, which was leaned against the side of the house. Takumi left behind the note.

Sorry, needed bike for emergency.

Will return as soon as possible.

:)

As he walked the bike down the walkway, he caught sight of Bunji already set on his bike as he brushed his fingers over the medical gauze wrapped around his arm. Takumi placed the messenger bag in the rear child’s seat before hopping aboard the bike. He wasn’t exactly sure what to say. He knew the inevitability of the situation, that only one of them would survive the hellish nightmare that was this new reality, Takumi having to bare the weight of that realization on his shoulders. He could picture four flowers in a field, bright azaleas. One by one they’d wither, their leaves wilted, dried up in the sun, eaten away by insects, gone. Except one. One still stood amongst its fallen kin. A woman reaches down and plucks it. The one survivor will die too eventually, such as all flowers do. The only difference being that it will simply die at a different place, a different time, a different way, but it too will join the dead. And after he pondered his own fragile mortality, Takumi had no words to say, instead he let his actions speak for themselves. He peddled. He peddled as fast as he could, until he saw a black figure caught in power lines. It was a chimpanzee, its dead body tangled amongst the wires. Seeing that, Takumi felt a cocktail of emotions. Sadness, anger, pity. He wanted to get off his bike and scream, curse up towards the chimp’s body and damn it for all the pain and loss, for all the horrible things he’d seen. He wanted to grab down the body and shred it to pieces with the kitchen knife tucked away in the bag. He wanted to cry out about how unfair it all was, but he kept peddling.

For them, that was a sign, a reminder their days were a countdown timer. A need and drive to reach a goal before the third flower died, so they peddled, that’s all they could do. As the morning sun turned to evening, clouds hung overcast, shielding the sky like a thick blanket of dark smoke. Takumi huffed as he took the lead. Up ahead he could see a street sign reading ‘Welcome to Satsumasendai’. As the two rode under the high-raised green sign and off the highway, Takumi could hear Bunji’s panting turn to deep labored breaths. Bunji took the sign as a stopping point, pulling off to the side and dismounting. As his feet touched the ground, he felt an instant acidic burning in the back of his throat. Clutching the break, Takumi came to a halt once he realized Bunji was no longer following him. He turned to look back, seeing Bunji hunched over with his wrist and upper arm held to his mouth. “Hey, you okay?!” Takumi yelled as he rushed over with his bike beside him. Bunji, still looking down, held out his left arm and backed away slightly to remind him to keep his distance.

“I-I, I’m f-fine.”

A small burp followed. Bunji quickly covered his mouth tightly with his hand.

“Do you need to puke?”

After Takumi’s question left his mouth, he felt a few raindrops fall onto his shoulders. He looked up towards the sky.

“Shit.”

Looking back over to his friend, he could see Bunji nod in reply to the question.

“Okay just hang on. I need to find somewhere for us to wait the rain.”

Scanning across the highway, Takumi’s eyes spotted a green metallic mist colored Honda Freed Plus left abandoned on the left side of the road. Tossing his bike to the ground, Takumi ran over to the car and took hold of the driver’s door-handle. To his utter dismay the door didn’t budge.

“Aaahh open!”

He pulled at the door again, this time till his knuckles turned white, but still no give. He could feel the rain begin to come down harder, wetting his hair and face.

“Please!”

Takumi now grew desperate as he rammed into the window with his shoulder.

“Please, just...”

Not even a dent. “Fuck!” He slammed his fists against the glass before putting his back to the car and sinking to the ground. As he sat on the concrete, he could smell the scent of petrichor. He watched his foam green shirt become darker with every falling drop as he heard Bunji run off into the grass. Takumi covered his right ear and focused on the sound of falling rain. He couldn’t help but be brought back to his childhood.

He stared out the living room window as he watched the rain pour.

“Yes....yeah, we’re canceling the party...I know, Takumi’s really sad about it too! Alrighty, thank you.”

Takumi sighed as he heard his mother in the kitchen. As far as he was concerned his eighth birthday was now ruined. He sniffled and wiped his face with the sleeve of his penguin onesie, as a fifteen-year-old Nagisa crouched beside him.

“Saori’s really bummed about it too. She was really looking forward going to the zoo.”

“It’s not fair. Why did it have to rain now?” Takumi pouted. “Well that’s what ya get for being born in the rainy season.” Nagisa teased. Takumi was unamused. Nagisa sighed with defeat at the blunder of her attempt at humor. “It’s not all bad.” She reassured her little brother. “We can still have cake and ice-cream. Don’t let a little rain ruin your big day.”

“I wish the rain would go die. This is, bleep shit.”

“You mean bull bleep!” His sister corrected through her laughter. “Ya say that now, but what will you do when the world’s all dried up and there’s no more water?”

The little boy said nothing in response as he continued to look sourly out the window.

“Hey, I made you somethin you’ll probably like.” Nagisa then drew her hands from behind her back and presented a penguin crown made from construction paper and glue. “Made it just for you.”

Takumi smiled as he turned to face his sister, his gaze meeting the drawn dot eyes of the penguin. Raising the crown above her little brother’s head, Nagisa beamed.

“I now dub thee Emperor Penguin Takumi!”

The sound of rain came back into focus. Takumi blinked as his line of sight focused in on the white and black object that laid on the pavement. It was a key fob. He sprung forward as if pouncing on it, clenching the fob in his hand. The white letters HONDA jumping out from the ink colored background. Standing up, Takumi placed a hand on the car’s door handle.

“Please work, please work, please, please, please!”

The door popped open. An unknowing smile plastered itself across Takumi’s face as he took in the sight of the car’s grey interior.

“Bunji!”

Takumi called over as he turned to his right to look at his friend, but Bunji was no longer by the bikes. As he had expected, Bunji stood in the grass, hands on his knees as he dry heaved. Takumi walked over to retrieve the bag from his fallen bike, still keeping an eye on Bunji.

“Aw man, Bun.”

Feeling like there was nothing he could do, Takumi walked back over to the car and climbed in, taking refuge from the rain. Removing his basketball shoes and white open school button up that clung to his T-shirt, he tossed them in the left-front passenger seat along with Itsuki’s bag, as he made himself comfortable. While he sat alone in the empty car he could feel his skin begin to itch. Rolling up his short sleeve to reveal his bare shoulder, Takumi brought his left hand up to his upper arm, although as he began to dig his fingernails into his skin Bunji’s words bursted into mind.

“Be-be a little, kind-kinder, to yourself.”

Takumi obeyed the words and yanked his hand away causing a long accidental scratch down his arm. Taking in a few breaths, he leaned and reclined back in his seat for a few minutes, feet resting on the dashboard and steering wheel, at least until the right passenger side door slid open. Bunji was soaked head to foot, rain dripping from his hair. He covered a cough with his arm before crawling his way in the van and closing the door behind him. After sliding the door, he slumped back-first, sprawling himself across the three passenger seats.

“M-my, ch-ch-chest, hurts.”

Takumi slid his seat forward, keeping some distance. “Maybe thirty kilometers was too much.”

“N-no.” Bunji’s voice was dry and airy. “We-we ha-have, to ge-ge-get, to my mom, be-before...” He didn’t want to finish, there was no need to. They both knew how the sentence would end. Takumi unzipped the bag and tossed a Clear Water branded water bottle to the back seat.

“Try to drink something. You’re probably dehydrated.”

Bunji picked up the bottle and swished around the little that was left inside. “Th-th-there’s, only one, s-sip left.”

“You need it more than me. And you already touched it so it’s all yours.”

Bunji sighed and placed the water bottle on his stomach, feeling like his body couldn’t yet hold anything down, not even water. The rain whipped against the glass as the wind thrashed outside.

“Do yo-yo-you think they, did-didn’t get, to see each other th-th-this year?”

“Who’s they?” Takumi asked, taking off his wet socks.

“Hi-Hi-Hikoboshi, and Ore-hi-me-me.”

Takumi smiled faintly. “I thought you said that stuff was for kids.”

Bunji was quiet, not giving back any sort of reply. After waiting a considerable amount of time for an answer, Takumi decided to think about the hypothetical question.

“I don’t know. When it rains Orehime can’t cross the river. So, I guess, the two of them can’t even have a good Tanabata. But then again, it’s not night yet so there’s a chance they could still meet, maybe. Doubt it though, looks pretty bad.”

“Tha-that’s so, sad.” Bunji was quiet as he tried to think of a way to spin the conversation in a positive direction. “Wha-what if, th-th-they did me-meet, and it-it-its hap-hap, happy tears?” Takumi didn’t reply. Bunji was still as he tried to think of something else to brighten the mood. “Hey, but a-at least my wi-wi-wish came true!”

“What ya mean?”

Bunji’s voice was oddly cheerful. “I wan-wanted to be a-a cat, in my ne-ne-next life.” As his own words sank in, his voice softened. “It, just, ha-happened a-a-a lot sooner, than i th-thought.” Takumi kept facing forward, still not making eye contact with Bunji. He could feel his eyes burn as he kept them wide open to avoid crying.

“Oh god...”

Those were the only words that came to mind as Takumi brought his hands slowly up and buried his face into them.

“I, I’m so-sorry. I sho-shouldn’t ha-ha-have said that.” Bunji then laid his upper arm over his eyes. “I-I-I, feel like, I ne-need to, cry.”

“You don’t have to.” Takumi raised his face from his hands. “Taniko might not be here, but, just look outside. We can let Hikoboshi and Orehime cry for us.” So with that the boys were quiet as they listened to the rain and slipped into sleep.

The dream was vivid, although dream would have been the wrong word to use, a mild nightmare perhaps. Takumi stood naked amongst an open field. Pairs of large anthropomorphic white rabbits dressed in frilly dresses and bright jinbeis, river-danced to a jig being played over a pianica. Their hind paws rhythmically stomping to the beat as they hit the dry soil. As the song came to an end, Takumi clapped as the rabbits took a bow. All their beady eyes turned on him. “It’s a human!” A buck from the crowd yelled. The herd began to circle around him, baring teeth and claws. “Skin him! Skin him! Skin him!” They chanted. A man wearing a suit, hiding his face behind a rabbit mask, nudged his way through the crowd with pianica in hand.

“Bunny...”

Takumi wasn’t sure how he knew the rabbit impersonator was in fact Bunji, but there was just this feeling in his gut, a feeling that clicked in his head once the masked man stood directly in front of him. And with a stiff push of the shoulders, Takumi found himself stumble backwards, plummeting off a cliff and into cold water. He could see the silhouette of the rabbit’s faces as he looked up at the water’s surface, sun shimmering down.

The sun pierced Takumi’s eyes as he took in the reality around him. Green trees and shrubbery stood against a blue morning sky. He stretched his arms forward and yawned, however as he leaned back into the seat, he heard faint moaning from the back of the car. Takumi glanced his eyes over to the left but didn’t dare turn his head. He cupped his mouth in between his thumb and pointer finger, unsure of what to say or do in the awkward situation he now found himself in. “Of all the times, you do it now?!” He thought. Takumi tried his best to focus out the window, counting the mountains in the distance. One, two, three. A small White Eye landed on the hood of the car, ruffling its chartreuse feathers as another companion came to accompany it. He tried to focus in on the bird’s twittering, but he couldn’t tune out Bunji’s short bouts of panting. Takumi felt his face beam hot red, wether due to excitement, uneasiness, or frustration he didn’t know, but eventually he cracked under the pressure, jokingly blurting out, “You want me to come back there and help ya finish!?”

The birds flew off.

“Je-Jesus, Taku!” Bunji quickly covered himself even though Takumi continued to stay facing forward.

Takumi burst into laughter.

“It-it’s no-not funny!”

“Yes it is! Man, I never heard you moan before! What were you thinking about?”

Bunji zipped up his pants and burred his face into his knees. “I-I-I wouldn’t ha-ha-have done it, i-if I kne-knew you, were, awake.”

“Aw nah, Bun, its fine. It’s normal, chill. If it makes you feel better I stared out the window the whole time, didn’t see anything. Besides, I think seeing you puke yesterday was worse.”

“Yo-you saw!?”

“I’m kidding! Relax.”

Bunji was quiet for a brief second, trying to swallow his pride. “I-I’m sorry. I do-dont, know, why I-I did it. Every-everything just, hurts. I-I can’t, think.”

Takumi put back on his socks, shoes, and slightly wet school button up over his T-shirt, before taking the messenger bag in his hand. “Try to clean yourself up. We need to get a move on, we’ll stop somewhere to eat real food in a bit.” He said as he retrieved a protein granola bar from the bag and tossed it to the back.

After a few minutes Bunji exited the car, pouring the remaining water from the bottle on his hands, threw the empty bottle back in the car, and wiped his hands off on his pants before walking over to the bikes. Takumi looked up from tapping on the handlebars.

“Bun, you sure you’re okay? You look, pale. I can go grab something for breakfast, then come back. You don’t have to come with me if you want to stay and rest.”

Bunji shook his head no. “We-we need, t-to keep, going and ge-ge-get to Ashikita-ta. I-I can, keep, go-go-going.”

So the boys carried on. Riding their bikes along the highway. Passing empty buildings and long strips of trees. Bringing life to the quiet city. The fact that it wasn’t only Hioki affected, but other cities as well, weighed on Takumi’s heart; the feeling of kenopsia bearing down, but Bunji was by his side to keep the mood up. Picking up speed he sped past Takumi, popping a wheelie in the process.

“You’re such a showoff!”

Bunji kept a smile firmly on his face the entire time, at least until he found himself standing alone in a convenient store bathroom thirty minutes later, staring at his own reflection in the sink’s mirror. He looked unlike himself. Dark bags hung under his eyes, as he pulled back his bangs to wash his face of sweat, he’d noticed his already darker skin now more tanned with patches of acne plastered on his forehead, along with slightly sunken cheeks. His loss in weight didn’t seem to register till Bunji realized he hadn’t eaten full consistent meals in six days.

“Is this what dying feels like?”

As he pondered in the question, Takumi walked up and down the rows of store goods. Picking up a bag of shrimp flavored chips, there was a sound of a rocking shelf from behind him. Takumi quickly turned around with the collection of assorted snacks bunched in his hands and bag strap dangling from his arm and froze.

“Hello?”

Everything was still.

“H-hi.”

“Aaaaahhhhh!”

Takumi faced to the right to find Bunji, who’d just exited the bathroom, standing with his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. “You scared me!” Takumi exclaimed as he set down the snacks and messenger bag on the ground.

“So-sorry.”

“It’s fine. Did you puke again?”

“I, uh, a-a little, bu-but I-I-I’m fine.”

“Here.”

Takumi then tossed a bottle of Pocari Sweat and chips over to his other half. Bunji swiftly caught the bottle, although missing the bag of chips entirely, the bag landing by his feet.

“Try to eat and drink. Don’t want ya getting dehydrated.”

He then began to stuff the remaining snacks into the bag.

“I’m gonna go check out the display case up front and see if any of the food is still eatable.”

As Takumi walked off, Bunji stood with his back against a shelf. Taking a sip of the sports drink, he could feel his body relax, finally being able to take the awful taste of bile out his mouth. After a few sips, as he went to place the cap back on the bottle, there was an odd tingling sensation in his face, and then nothing, a complete feeling of numbness. Bunji brought his free hand up to his jaw as his mouth hung slightly open, feeling the water trickle down the sides of his mouth. The tingling then engulfed his hands as they twitched. Taking the left hand away from his face and dropping the Pocari Sweat, he then held them out in front of him and attempted to move his fingers. The feeling was almost comparable to as if his hands were asleep, being wrapped up in a feeling of weightlessness and disorder. And before he knew it, he was face first on the white tile.

“Aaaaaahhh!”

Bunji let out a guttural, dry, muffled scream. Takumi turned his gaze up from a display case of usually hot and fresh fried chicken that sat near the ring-up counter, now grey-ish and carrying an off putting odor.

“Bunny?”

Rushing back over to the isle, Takumi found Bunji sprawled flat across the ground, hands twitching.

“Fuck, Bunny! I don’t, I don’t know...”

Takumi, knowing that he couldn’t even lay a hand on him, sank to the ground and tugged at his own hair.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“Stay calm.” A man’s voice said from the opposite end of the isle. Takumi looked up to see a middle-aged man wearing a white face mask and lemonade pink Hawaiian shirt printed with green palm trees. He walked over to Bunji, got to his knees, and set down a white plastic bag filled with varying medicines, heat packs, face masks, and gloves.

“Don’t touch him!”

The man snapped his neck and looked over to Takumi.

“He’s sick, with RALYVI."

The savior, taking heed of Takumi’s words, then dug in the bag for a box of latex medical gloves, opened the box, pulled out a pair, and slipped them on. He then rolled Bunji over on his back, placing Bunji’s head on the man’s own lap.

“What’s his name?”

“Um.” Takumi was panicked. “Sasaki.”

“And yours?”

“Morita.”

“Alright Morita, I need you to take a few deep breaths. He’s going to be fine, it’s just a seizure. The best thing you can do for him in this situation is to stay calm and let it pass.” The man said as he took note of Bunji’s moving eyes, and then glanced at his brown leather wristwatch. After mentally noting the time he turned his attention back to Bunji.

“Sasaki, Mr. Sasaki, can hear you me?”

With still twitching hands, Bunji blinked and tried to speak, but his numb jaw restricted him.

“It’s alright. I’m Dr. Murayama, I’m going to help.”

The doctor then pulled Bunji’s dark navy blue over shirt slightly off to loosen it.

“Has this happened before? Is he epileptic?”

“No, no I don’t think so.”

Bunji’s whole body began to jerk as his arms and legs stiffened, before finally becoming unresponsive. “Secondarily generalized.” Dr. Murayama mumbled as he looked back at his watch.

“I, I don’t get it. The W-H-O didn’t say seizers were a symptom.”

“Well RALYVI-26 is still new. WHO isn’t going to know every possible symptom. They say the most common. But even in regular rabies cases there are some people who have seizers like this.”

Takumi went from a crouching position, to kneeling on the ground, setting the bag beside him. “How’d you get here? I didn’t hear the door open.”

“I was here before the two of you. Me and my wife work for the City Hospital, so I came here looking for a few minor supplies. When I heard you two come in, I hid. I’ve dealt with some pretty hostile people the last few days.”

“Well, thanks for being here when you were. I seriously don’t know what I would’ve done without you. And, It’s honestly been a pretty rough couple of days for me, us, too. Me and him have been through a lot, and we’ve been biking for two days now, more or less.”

“Where are the two of you coming from?”

“We’re students from Ijuin High, in Hioki.”

The man sounded slightly shocked. “So you kids road your bikes all the way here by yourselves from Hioki, through all this? Where’s your parents?”

Takumi hesitated. “His mom, and little brother are in Kumamoto.”

“And your parents?”

“I don’t know. My parents weren’t home. One of my older sisters, died. And my other sister’s in Tokyo.”

“Morita, I’m so, so sorry. That’s terrible.”

“It’s okay. Just the way things are, right?” He whispered.

Bunji’s seizing eased and the doctor looked at his watch one last time before rolling him on his side in the recovery position to where Takumi could see Bunji’s face.

“Here Morita, walk around here. You don’t want to see him spit up.” The doctor said motioning his hand around Bunji. Takumi got up and walked his way around his now somewhat conscious partner and took a seat behind the doctor. He could hear Bunji cough and gag. “Is he on any medications?” Mr. Murayama asked as he took off his gloves.

“Actually, yeah.”

Takumi then took out a white pill bottle from the bag and handed it over to the doctor.

“Concerta?”

“It’s his ADHD meds.”

Dr. Murayama gave the bottle back to Takumi. “And he hasn’t been salivating, like drooling or foaming from the mouth?”

Takumi shook his head no as he placed the bottle back in the bag. The doctor distanced himself as Bunji started to stir.

“He’s probably going to be a bit disoriented, but he’ll be okay.”

Bunji pushed himself up and leaned against the shelf behind him, eyes dazed.

“Sasaki, do you know your name.”

“N-n-no. I-I’m, fine.”

“Do you know where you are?”

Bunji paused for a minute as he closed his eyes. “Se-Seven, Eleven.”

“Do you know your name?”

“Da-dad, na-named me Bu-Bunji, after grandpa.”

The doctor looked to Takumi for confirmation on the name. “First.” Takumi whispered in reassurance. Looking back to Bunji, Mr. Murayama waved his hand near Bunji’s face. Bunji’s eyes opened and darted left in response.

“Just checking. Bunji, do you remember what happened?”

“I-I go-go-got scared, an-and fell. Ta-Taku, is prob-probably ma-ma-mad a-at me. An-and I wan-wan-wanted to, find...I-I’m so-so, scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

“I-I-I’m scared, o-of death. An-an-an-and...m-my fe-feet, feel, we-weird. Fe-fe-feels like, sa-sand.”

“Do you feel tired? Do you want to rest for a while? Maybe after you rest you’ll be back up and moving. Morita and I will stay with you the whole time.”

Bunji nodded before he rested his face in his knees. The doctor relaxed, pulled down his mask, and continued the conversation between him and Takumi, still keeping an eye on his patient.

“He doesn’t mean it. A lot of people are really confused or act off after having a seizure, especially having two back to back like that.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like that happen to anyone. That was fucking terrifying.”

“Longest three minutes of your life?”

“It was only three minutes!?”

The doctor nodded sympathetically. “I know, it feels like it goes on forever. But three minutes is about the average length believe it or not. I’ve worked with a few patients with epilepsy so I know a thing or two.”

“How was that?”

“Little scary at first, but seizures aren’t the same for everyone. It really depends on where in the brain the seizure happens. Like for example, I had an older man, when he had a seizure attack they were mild. He’d do this thing with his arm.” Mr. Murayama then mimicked taking off a pair of pretend glasses. “Just like this, over and over again, and smacked his lips. And there was this really really young girl, super young, around five. All her seizures were, were staring spells, where’d she’d just stare off into space for a little.”

“That’s so weird! That probably sounds really douchie. Interesting, is interesting the right word?”

“If you’re that curious about it, once you get somewhere safe you can crack open a book or google it. There’s many different types so it’ll take you a while before you get bored.”

Ten minutes passed and Bunji gradually became fully conscious.

“Bunji, put this on for me.” The doctor coaxed as he gently tossed a disposable face mask in Bunji’s lap. Bunji complied and put on the mask without hesitation.

“While you were asleep, Morita and I were talking about maybe, going to the hospital for a while. It’s been converted into a shelter. My wife and I work there, and we’ll make sure the both of you are taken good ca—“

Bunji’s face was blank as he stood and went to go retrieve his water. Pulling the mask slightly down and taking a swig, he capped the bottle and proceeded to walk towards the door.

“Bunny please! It’s our best choice!”

“Listen to your friend Bunji. He really cares about you. Neither one of us want to see you hurt.”

“Th-there’s n-n-no point!”

“You just had a seizure. You can still hardly talk.”

“Actually...” Takumi spoke up. “He always talks like that.”

The doctor sighed. “As a doctor it’s my job to help as many people as I can. I can’t just let two kids, or, err, young men go off, little food, little drink. How are you ever going to make it to Kumamoto in the shape you’re in?”

“Be-be-because I have to!” Bunji screamed. “Go-going to a-a-a hospital, will just, wa-waste time! Yo-yo-you can’t cu-cure me, or he-he-help me! Either wa-way I’m, go-go-going to die, so I-I-I’d rather die, with-th my mom!”

As Bunji turned away, the doctor spoke in a last stitch effort to get him to stay. “But they’re not letting anyone out of Kagoshima anymore, the whole prefecture’s under quarantine! They want to race through the epidemic and let it kill itself out, don’t you understand?”

“We-we’ll, take, our cha-cha-chances. Come o-on Taku.”

Bunji walked out, leaving Takumi standing with the bag.

“Go with him. He needs you.”

As Takumi walked for the door, he paused and turned around, giving a short polite bow. “Thank you Doctor.” And with that he left.

The boys did eventually decide to swing by the hospital as they rode past. Two lines formed outside the four floored white main building, a red tent on the side was set up to hand out food. A person in a Saigo Tsun costume, a large round white and ginger cartoon dog mascot with pink rosy cheeks and matching flower pinned to her left ear, that was usually used to advertise tourism, stood outside the hospital’s doors to bring the young children who waited in line comfort. Seeing the boys ride past, Tsun gave a quick wave. Takumi returned the greeting, however Bunji did not, staring stone cold ahead as he took the lead.

“Tsun’s a lot better than our stupid mascot. Ours looks like the love child of a samurai and Pikachu.” Takumi said in reference to their own city mascot, Hiokichi-Kun, in an attempt to get Bunji to laugh.

Nothing.

Bunji looked forward, not saying a word for hours. Even as Takumi stopped to take a break along a shore line and put his feet in the water, Bunji stayed by the bikes. There seemed to be no life in him, as if all the boundless energy he had vanished. This was only made worse by the fact Takumi couldn’t even read his face due to the mask, only being able to see his dark eyes that held fractals of brown when they were caught by the setting sun.

An outline of a woman ran up the road carrying what looked like a blanket in her arms. Bunji hit his breaks abruptly. As the woman drew nearer, it became more apparent she was carrying a young boy.

“Help, help please!”

Takumi too stopped in the middle of the road and the pair jumped off their bikes, walking briskly toward the frantic mother.

“My little boy, I think his leg is broken!”

Takumi approached the woman as Bunji stood a few meters away observing the situation. The woman looked paniced, her long knotted chestnut dyed hair plastered against her back as her boy nuzzled in her arms. He looked to be no older than five. Bunji couldn’t help but be reminded of Shouta. “What happened?” Takumi asked.

“He-he was running, and I told him not to go off too far...He tripped and fell down the slope! Isn’t that right Hayato, you fell?”

The boy began to whale as if on cue.

“Hey don’t...it’ll be okay.” Takumi reassured as he went to go remove the blanket from the boy’s torso to take a look at his leg. “Me and my friend have a few supplies in our bag that could maybe help.”

As Takumi played doctor, Bunji could see the woman look up and over towards the bikes, mouthing something as she did so, accentuating her mild overbite.

“His leg looks okay I think. Probably just a spra—“

“Aye!” Bunji yelled as he turned his attention to the bikes. A man, in his 40’s wearing a worn out baseball cap, had rummaged through the bag, kitchen knife held firmly in his hand. The man looked up to meet Bunji’s sharp eyes. He picked up the bag and bolted. Takumi stood stunned for a moment, completely caught off guard, till chasing after the man.

“Drop it! Drop it you fucking bastard!”

Takumi then jumped on the thief’s back, wrapping his arms tightly around the man’s neck. The man, wether by accident or on purpose cut Takumi’s upper arm with the blade of the knife before losing his grip. The knife hit the ground with a thud before the man fell backwards, crushing Takumi under his weight. The two began to roll. Going right, they descended down a steep incline off the side of the road, ending in a shallow stream. As they rolled the man’s hat flew off, followed by a faint quick popping sound. As they reached the bottom, just barely avoiding the water. Takumi could feel his heart pound in his ears as he tossed the now motionless man off himself. The man now laid face first to the ground. Takumi expected him to get back up and continue the fight, but he didn’t.

“Sir?...”

Takumi starred at the dark green polyester fabric of the man’s shirt.

“Gramps?”

He went to go put a hand on the man’s neck to check for a pulse when a trickle of blood ran its way down his arm to his hand, stopping at the promise ring. Takumi brought his arm up and saw the short gash. Taking his left pointer and middle finger, he caught some of the dripping blood, watching the evening light shimmer off his fingertips before bringing them to his mouth. As he tasted the metallic saltiness of iron, looking past the man, there was Itsuki’s bag, contents spilled out. Taniko’s glasses, an empty bag of chips, Itsuki’s phone, wallet, school books, and empty bento, his bottle of peach flavored water, a photo of two girls holding a spider, Bunji’s pills, a few protein bars, all of it. Everything he’d held onto for so long, everything he had left of some semblance of normalcy, now laid on the ground like trash.

“Nothing matters anymore.”

This thought raced through his head as he ripped off a strip of fabric from the bottom of his white button up, tying it around his arm, tearing off the excess, and shoving the majority of his belongings back into the bag. He stormed up the slope, bag over shoulder, filled to the brim with adrenaline. Bunji sat in the grass a meter away from the incline, body tense with uncertainty, staring up as his eyes locked on Takumi.

“Yo-yo-you’re ble—“

“I know!” Takumi said retrieving the knife and putting it in his belt’s side. He then walked over to Bunji’s bike, bending down to pick up the bottle of Pocari Sweat Bunji had set down by the front wheel. Gripping it with the piece of excess fabric, Takumi marched to the woman and now standing little boy.

“Your mother’s a con artist, I hope ya know that!” Takumi yelled before narrowing his eyes at the lady, “Thieves, liars! Stooping so low to rob a couple of kids, and for what, water!?” He jabbed the bottle towards the woman’s stomach. “Here’s some fucking water!” He then moved in closer to the woman’s face as she placed her fingers around the bottle’s plastic grip. “Listen, and listen real good! Me and my boyfriend are going to get on our bikes and leave. If you follow us — if I see your face again I’ll kill you just like I did your partner down there, understand?”

The woman nodded.

“Good.”

Takumi backed away slowly, going back over to his bike He pulled the knife from his belt and placed it in the bag, before setting said bag in the carseat and hopping on the bike. Bunji stood speechless, shocked and unsure of what to do.

“Let’s go Bun.”

Bunji boarded his orange bike and let Takumi take front as he rode past, and the guys were off. After a few minutes and the mother and boy no longer in view Bunji finally felt it was alright to talk.

“Di-di-did yo-you really, kill hi-hi-him?”

“I think so. I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what happen.” Takumi tried to think as the bike became progressively harder to peddle. “Before we rolled down the slope, he was alive. When we got to the bottom, he wasn’t. That’s all I know.”

“Ta-Taku?” Bunji’s voice sounded concerned.

“Yeah?”

“Yo-yo-yo-your tire.”

Takumi screeched his breaks and got off to observe the wheels. The rubber on the back tire had been punctured, presumably with the knife.

“Bastards.”

The two sat in stillness for a while till Bunji spoke his mind.

“An-an-and you, ga-gave them our, wa-water.”

Takumi stared intently at the torn rubber before a slight wicked grin crossed his lips, having the expression of a child who knew they just did wrong. “Don’t worry, they’ll get what’s coming. It was your water.” He then hopped back on and continued north. As Bunji stood in place watching Takumi’s back, he was hit with a dizzy spell, his body acting on autopilot. He got on the bike, followed his partner, and didn’t say a word. He could imagine it. An image of the little boy’s face burning and branding a hole into his mind before configuring into the familiar presence of his little brother. The boy would go to take a sip, unknowing that the Grim Reaper stood near ready to take him by the hand and whisk him away from earthly existence.

“How could you?...How could you do something like that?” Words that came from Bunji’s most earnest emotionally driven thoughts, but he dare not speak them. If he did then that would only make one of the people he loved most, and now the only person he had, slip further into apathetic brutality. And understood that it would exacerbate Takumi’s already brewing regret and self-hatred, so no words ever left his mouth.

They both said nothing until turning into a Salato gas station. The faint glimmer of twilight still hung in the air. The only sign of life being an abandoned tricked-out truck and a little girl’s pink velcro-strap sneaker. Parking the bikes out front, the two went in the main building to use the restroom and see if they could find a tire repair kit. As Takumi walked in, there was the strong smell of urine. Slumped against the help desk was a young woman dressed in the grey gas attendant uniform. Dried spit coated the bottom of her now blue-ish face, eyes closed, as she sat in a puddle of her own pee. Takumi focused in on the body before stopping just in front of the doorway. He was shocked, not by the dead woman, but by the lack of any other emotion. No sadness, or anger, or disgust, or even fear. He just kept staring. He stood in-place fraught with the hard to describe emotion of depersonalization, feeling as if his own physical being would fade away into fragments if someone dared to lay a hand on him, as if he never existed at all. The usual soothing phrase replayed in his head on repeat.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Bunji approached slowly and went to go put a hand on Takumi’s back before quickly yanking it back and backing himself away. Takumi turned his head slowly to the right to look at Bunji. Bunji wanted to say something that would ease his partner, in fact he wanted to say the phrase, “it’ll be alright.”, he could even imagine himself saying it, but the words that slipped from his mouth were what neither of them expected to hear.

“Ho-ho-how do yo-you feel?”

It took a brief second for Takumi to form a response but eventually he offered up a soft whisper. “I don’t feel anything...and it scares me.”

Bunji was at a loss for words, and after taking a few deep breaths, Takumi began to press further, carrying on with the task at hand. However, to the couple’s dismay, they came up empty handed, resulting in having to fix the bike tire with Power Tape. As Takumi took to sealing the holes on the back tire, Bunji removed his mask and laid down on a blue tarp they’d found around the back of the gas station, unfolding it and spreading it out under the canopy. Once the repair was done, Takumi sat down the roll of tape and walked the bike over to the tarp, standing it up in the middle to act as a barrier between them. As he took a seat, he could feel the pain in his arm begin to catch up to him and throb. Putting his left hand on his right upper arm, Takumi gritted his teeth trying not to wince. “Ho-how’s yo-yo-your arm?” Bunji asked, peering through the wheel’s metal spokes like jail bars.

“It stopped bleeding I think, hurts like hell though.”

Takumi’s mind than reminisced to a little over half a decade ago, back to when he was eleven years old. He sat on the sofa, two dinosaur bandaids crossing over his scrapped knee, inthralled in an episode of the animated television show, Darwin’s Game. His sister, Saori, stood in the kitchen with a group of girlfriends, consisting of nearby neighbor kids. A cartoon depiction of a teenaged boy rapidly firing a machine-gun in a church played as a notification reading ‘Now Loading...’ appeared on screen. The Netflix app then opened and an episode of a Korean drama began playing.

“Saori, I was watching something!”

The girls walked in from the kitchen holding glass bowls of strawberry ice cream. “It’s seven, and seven’s my time.” Saori stated a matter of factly as she stuffed her cell phone into the front pocket of her hoodie.

“But I wasn’t done!”

“But we wanna watch Love Alarm!” Saori attempted to mimic her little brother’s whiny tone of voice. “Plus dad said he didn’t want you watching Darkness Game.”

“Darwin’s Game!”

“Whatever! It’s the four of us against one of you, Love Alarm wins. Now scooch.”

‘They’re not even supposed to be here!”

Saori then took a seat next to Takumi on the sofa as two of her friends joined her, and third remaining friend took the floor.

“Why are you being so mean?” Takumi asked as the girls focused on the TV. “Are you on your period?”

The girl sitting on the floor was so caught off guard she laughed, spewing ice cream out her nose.

“I know she’s on her period cuz—“

Saori quickly cupped her hand over her brother’s mouth. All three friends were trying not to laugh.

“Guess who just got a message from the school!” Mrs. Morita said in a sing-song voice as she came down the stairs, phone in hand. Saori turned around to look at her mother. “What’d they say?!”

Mrs. Morita paused as she took note of the three unexpected girls in the living room. “The closure was extended till after spring break, so you go back on April sixth. You too Takumi.”

“Yes!” The girls cheered with relief. “Freedom!” Saori then took a bite of ice cream.

Mrs. Morita continued to eye the girls before commenting. “Do your parents know you’re all here? You’re supposed to be staying home.”

The girls glanced at one another expecting someone to conjure up an answer.

“It’s just the three of them. Pleeeaase, for one night!” Saori begged.

“Sa—“

Her mother’s statement was cut off by the sound of a ringing cellphone. Mrs. Morita brought her phone to her ear and answered.

”Yes? Mrs. Baba?…Yes I know....No they’re fine. I came down and saw everyone made themselves right at home.” After a few brief seconds she held the phone out towards the group.

”It’s for you.”

The girl on the floor, being the oldest of the bunch, sat down the bowl and wiped her nose with her arm as she stood. The girl apprehensively took the phone from the woman’s grasp.

”Hey, mom...” The girl said nervously as she separated herself from the group and headed back into the kitchen. “Please don’t....We’re just by Saori’s.”

”Return it once you’re done.” Mrs. Morita finished off as she headed upstairs.

“Why are you so happy? I thought you loved school.” Takumi questioned.

“No, I hate it.” Saori’s statement was blunt.

“Yeah it’s a lot of pressure.” one of the girls on the sofa interjected.

“But Saori’s always up in her room studying!”

“First of all, I stay in my room because I wanna be away from you and Nagisa as much as possible, mostly Nagisa, it’s bad enough I share a room with her, she always steals my stuff.” She took another bite of ice cream. “Second, I study really hard so I can get good grades, so I can get good marks on my entrance exams for high school next year, so then I can go to a good college, and a good college means a good job, and a good jo—“

“School’s not like that for me.”

“Because you’re still in elementary, come back to us in one or two years.”

“You guys take school way too seriously.”

Looking back on it now, he found it ironic that he felt more bothered by his sister and her friends than he was about a worldwide pandemic. Even in the midst of chaos, Takumi’s life remained relatively normal despite the brief cancelation of school and government encouraged quarantine. No one he knew personally passed away, and there were very few cases of COVID in Hioki. He could even remember watching the worst of the floods in the July of that year cripple places like Ashikita, yet his city was mostly unscathed. Or how he saw Tomohiro Iwakura, a man who’d committed five murders in 2018, be put on trial. Those were tragedies for many. For the people who fell ill, or to those who lost their homes and livelihoods to rushing water and mud, or to the five victims whose lives were cut short, but for Takumi, his life was unchanged, untouched. It was something he’d never taken note of before. It was experiences like Taniko’s which made him feel grateful. And dwelling on the thankfulness made him feel like what he was going through now, all the pain, blood, sweat, and tears, justified. He never got to face the brutal reality of tragedy six years ago like much the majority did. Instead he was seeing it now.

Takumi laid his head back on the tarp, looking up at the unlit lights.

“It’s so quiet.”

They went hushed as the crickets chirped. Takumi could hear the crackling of the tarp as Bunji rolled on his side and used his navy button up as a small blanket. The tune to Somewhere Only We Know by Keane began to sound in Takumi’s head. He smiled faintly at the soothing melody.

“I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet. Sat by the river, and it made me complete.” Takumi sang softly. Bunji closed his eyes as he felt himself begin to drift away to the lullaby.

“Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in. I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin.”

As Takumi continued on, Bunji felt a tingling feeling run up his arms and then a sharp pain followed shortly after.

“I came across a fallen tree. I felt the branches of it looking at me. Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?”

Peering through the darkness, Bunji looked down at his arms. At first there were small bumps. And then the bumps became larger, forming into whelps. He could feel something tear away at his skin from beneath the surface. Eventually the whelps burst as large beetles dug their way up from his flesh. Bunji looked down towards his legs, there too was beetles crawling up his legs and torso.

“Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in. I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin.”

Bunji’s eyes were wide with horror as he tried to scratch off the bugs. “Takumi!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. Takumi perked up instantly and turned in the direction of the bike.

“What!? What’s wrong?”

Bunji began to shriek. “Bu-bugs! They-they-they’re o-o-on me!”

Takumi stood and frantically unzipped the bag, pulling out the pink lighter. He flicked it open, igniting the flame. As the light from the flame shined down on Bunji, Takumi could see him kick and scratch, digging his fingernails into his skin, but nothing was there.

“Bunny, it’s okay! Nothing’s there, you’re fine!”

“The-they’re un-un-under my skin!” Bunji said now on the verge of hyperventilating. Takumi slumped back down to the tarp, reaching face level with his partner as he shinned the flame to give Bunji something to focus on.

“Bunny, Bunny please, I need you to look at me!”

Bunji looked over to Takumi, petrified as tears poured down his face. “It-it hurts. Ma-ma-make it, go, away!”

Those words broke Takumi’s heart.

“I don’t know how. There’s nothing there Bun.”

“Ye-yes there is! The-the-they’re on me! Ta-Takumi help me!”

“I can’t.”

“Please!” Bunji begged through his sobs.

“Look look look, look at the lighter. Focus on the fire. It’s real. The bugs aren’t real. Right now, in this moment, I’m with you, you’re safe. No one, nothing is going to hurt you.”

As Bunji stared into the flame he could feel the beetles crawl their way to his neck. Out of desperation and not knowing what else to do to calm his friend from his hallucination, Takumi tried his best to keep his voice calm enough to sing.

“And if you have a minute, why don’t we go. Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go, somewhere only we know?”

Bunji’s focus on the candle became increasingly distant as the bugs scurried to his face, burring themselves in every whole they could find. Ears, nose, mouth. He wanted to scream and cry but it was as if his own being wouldn’t let him, a prisoner within his own mind and body.

“Somewhere only we know...”

And eventually the flame faded from view, swallowed by darkness.

In the morning when reality came back into focus, Bunji looked over his now scratch ridden arms as he fixed the white gauze. “Bottoms up.” Takumi said as he tossed him a white tablet and peach flavored water. “But it’s yours.” Bunji said referring to the bottle.

“Just drink it.”

As Bunji sat taking his morning pill, Takumi added a few more pieces of tape to the tire. Bunji popped the pill in mouth and went to lean his head back to wash it down, but once the water hit his mouth his body rejected it, water dribbling down his face and neck. He let out a gurgled, “Ta-Taku!”. Takumi looked up from the bike. As soon as he saw Bunji’s face he instantly assumed it was a seizure.

“Bun, nod if you can hear me.”

Bunji nodded. He felt completely normal, no tingling, no wlightlessness. This wasn’t a seizure. Bunji attempted to take another sip, trying to force himself to gulp it down, but his body refused to swallow. He coughed and leaned to Takumi’s left, spitting out both the gulps of water and the pill.

“What’s wrong? Do you feel dizzy? Do you need to puke? “

“I-I-can’t, swa-swallow.”

“Are, are you drooling?”

Bunji shook his head no.

The boys locked eyes, not needing any words to communicate. They knew the flower was wilting. And wether out of a state of denial, stoicness, or an unfading drive for perseverance, Takumi boarded the bike.

“Do you feel sad, or scared, or...angry?”

“Ye-yes.”

“Can you feel the tarp under you?”

“Yes.”

“Can you hear the birds chirping? Can you hear me?”

Bunji nodded.

“Then there’s still life in you....You’re alive, and as long as you are, I have to get you to Ashikita. Think about your mom. Think about Shouta, they’re waiting for you. We just need to get there, no matter what.”

And he did.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!”

Bunji could hear his aunt say as he walked in through the door. The scent of overly used floor cleaners and oranges mixed together as they met Bunji’s nose. His father ate a piece of dekopon orange jelly desserts from a plate, as Aunt Iroka made tempura. His mother sat at the table in the living room working on her laptop. Shouta played nearby, dangling a fuzzy cat toy in front of Ham. The sounds of Shouta’s laughter and the weekly weather report flocking from the TV meshed together. Mrs. Sasaki sighed, clearly overwhelmed by the noise as she reached for the remote on the table.

“Neh, don’t touch the clicker! Let me hear it.” Iroka barked over from the kitchen. The statement residing from a place of left over mental scars due to losing her last home to flooding.

“It was a one-time thing—record breaking rain. Sometimes things flood. You can’t keep dwelling on the past. If you’re that so gosh-darn paranoid about it, why’d you move back?!” Mrs. Sasaki’s voice was direct and somewhat bitter.

“Sachi don’t even put that suggestion out into the world, I don’t wanna hear it! Mom and Pops were brought up here, we were brought up here. Ashikita’s our home regardless. I’m not leavin.”

The conversation was reminiscent of the sisterly quarrels Bunji witnessed while Aunt Iroka took refuge on the Sasaki’s couch for a year during city damage repairs to Ashikita. Aunt Iroka boldly stating she’d happily return to the city once her house was re-made, rather than stay in Hioki, to her little sister’s dismay.

“Ladies, ladies, don’t jump at each other’s throats.”

Mr. Sasaki made himself the neutral party and walked over from the kitchen to the living room. He wiped his hands clean of crystallized sugar before getting to his wife’s level and wrapping his arms around her back.

“Come on honey-bunch, enough working. Come eat.”

Mr. Sasaki then focused on his youngest son still playing with the cat.

“Be careful or he’ll swat ya.”

“No he won’t!”

Bunji walked into the room as the realization at the impossibleness of this idealized scenario clicked into place. He felt detached, disconnected. No one acknowledged his presence further. The feeling only being heightened by his lingering outdoor shoes. Standing in contrast to the sock-bared feet of his family. Like a foreign phantom wondering its way to a place it didn’t belong; unnoticed.

As his parents got up and walked towards the kitchen, Shouta continued to play with Ham. Bunji took his mother’s place at the low living room table. She’d left her laptop on. Next to the computer sat his father’s reading glasses and remote, along with something unexpected. Itsuki’s salmon orange history textbook. He took hold of it and flipped open to a torn out page. He ran his fingers down the rigid edge.

“I heard another ambulance.”

Bunji looked up from the book. He was back in the storage room. Taniko sat on the opposite side of the room, sitting on the floor underneath the window. Itsuki and Takumi sat in between them, filling in the empty space. Takumi turned his head in Bunji’s direction.

“Yo, did you just, tear the page out?”

Bunji looked back down to find that he indeed ripped a page out the textbook. He hesitated before nodding.

“Bunji why the fu—“

“Relax, its fine.” Itsuki reassured. “He’s probably just bored. Plus it’s not like I need it anymore, right?” He then scooted his way closer to Bunji. “Did you want to do origami or something?”

Bunji set the book down and proceeded to crease the freed paper. Once done, he held up a finished paper airplane.

“Oh uh, sure, paper plane counts as origami I guess.”

“Hand me a piece. I can make a butterfly.” Takumi gestured for the textbook as Bunji tore out a new page.

Itsuki tried to lighten Taniko’s spirits.

“Taniko, come here and fold some origami with us.”

“I can’t remember how to make anything.”

“Not even one?! Like an animal?” Takumi asked.

“Na’da.”

“No excuses!”

Itsuki then took back the textbook that was rightfully his and tore a third piece. He folded the page into a boat shaped hat while Takumi was occupied with his butterfly. Itsuki walked over and placed the hat on Taniko’s head.

“Now you look like a cute little sailor.”

Bunji looked to the window, the white sunlight beaming in. He aimed the paper airplane, held his breath, and then released. As the plane soared straight ahead toward the glass, the natural light merged together with the artificial lights of a basketball court.

“Sasaki, pass it!”

His teammates whooshed around him like vague white blobs as he dribbled the ball. Number two, Wataru Iwasaki, signaled for the pass.

“Pass it!”

Instead of complying, Bunji looked up with the basket in sight. The opposing team dawned in red began to close in. Bunji jumped as he sent the ball through the air. The sound of the net making a swish as the ball connected. The Ijuin Team roared and cheered while the ball came down.

Cheers that mixed with cicadas and the heat of a summer past.

‘I think…I like you.”

The two boys laid in the grass of Bunji’s backyard. The remnants of a water balloon fight scattered around the ground.

“Li-li-like me, or li-like-like me?”

Bunji felt he had to ask for clarification so he could be absolutely sure he understood what Takumi was implying.

‘Like, mo-more th-th-than just friend-friends?”

“Yeah.”

Memories mixed together with dreams of the future that could never be. Letting his mind wander gave him some relief from the fatigue and aching in his feet. But doing so only made things more emotionally painful. Taniko and Itsuki were gone. He’d never see his basketball teammates again. He had to burry Ham in the backyard. And he couldn’t even have those intimate moments. All of it was gone. But there was a hope, a faint sliver of hope that lied ahead.

They’d reached Izumi, the last city before the prefectural border. They stood at a crossroads. To the left was a road leading up to a monastery, while going straight continued their rout. Behind them, off to the side, stood a tiny three-floored white building with brown shingled roof that was used for wood manufacturing. Takumi walked the bike past the large white Route 504 painted on the asphalt, he’d given up riding it an hour prior once the almost flat back wheel got too hard to push. Bunji watched Takumi’s back, his white over shirt torn, bloodied, covered with dirt, his hair tangled and wet with grease. Bunji didn’t even want to imagine what he himself looked like. And finally after a few more steps, crossing the intersection, he pulled down his mask, dropped the orange bike to the ground, and collapsed to his knees. Takumi looked back and dropped his bike.

“Bun?”

Bunji turned his face up to the sky, eyes closed tightly, as he let out a sorrowful ear-bleeding scream. Takumi gawked for a second before putting his hands up to his mouth and joining in the whale. Their screams were their message to the powers that be as it pierced the hot air. “What did we do to deserve this!? Have we been punished enough!? You’ve stripped us of everything, home, family, friends, compassion, life, humanity! Isn’t that enough? Isn’t it?” Their message said. And as Bunji’s yelling quieted he opened his eyes to see a faint black speck.

“Ta-Taku!”

Takumi turned in the direction his partner was staring in. The speck grew closer, the sound of propeller blades cutting through the stillness. It was a helicopter. Takumi clambered to the ground, picking up the messenger bag and unzipping it. He held up Itsuki’s phone, reflecting the sun’s rays off the black screen.

“HELP! HELP WE’RE HERE!”

A few popping sounds omitted from the helicopter. For a moment the guys stood in confusion. Why weren’t they stopping? A few more pops. This time Takumi realized the small holes in the road just up ahead.

“Run!”

Takumi bolted back for the small building off to the side, Bunji followed quickly behind, pulling his mask back up to his face. The boys sat backs slumped against the wall of the building near a pile of cut boards as the helicopter flew overhead, eventually disappearing into a speck once again. “They were shooting at us! Why would they shoot at us!? They-they’re supposed to...” Takumi couldn’t finish his sentence. One part due to his panting, and two parts due to his deep rooted feelings of heartbroken betrayal. For him, the defense was to serve the people, protect their home. Not aim gunfire at their own citizens they vowed to protect. He’d held faith in them all this time, and with a single act, it was crushed.

“Taku.” Bunji said as he gave Takumi a look that said, “We both know why.”. Takumi could feel his face tense with anger as he stood up and looked down at his other half still seated on the ground.

“Get up!”

Bunji looked up at him, a look of exhaustion in his eyes.

“Get up now! What happened to seeing your mom again?! Ya can’t just give up! We’re almost— we’re almost there! Please!” Takumi felt his eyes burn as if on the verge of tears, but he was now so dehydrated that he couldn’t cry.

“Please don’t leave me alone!”

“Wha-wha-what do you, think i-i-is go-going to happen, whe-whe-when I ge-ge-get to the, boarder?”

“I don’t know! The...they’ll let us pass and we’ll go see your mom!”

In a wordless response, Bunji untied his Converse’s laces and pulled off his right shoe. Removing his pastel yellow sock, the damage became more apparent. The bottom of his feet were blistered and swollen. Blood trickled from an open blister on his heel and a few of his nails were a blue-ish black.

“I-I’m so, tired. My fe-fe-feet hurt. An-an-and we, both kno-kno-know wha-what will, ha-happen when, I try to-to leave. I’m go-go, going to di-die, an-anyway.”

“Bun, I can’t—“

“Yo-you have to-to le-le-leave me. I-I dont ha-ha-have a chance, bu-bu-bu-but you, you do.”

“Bunny!”

“LISTEN!” Bunji snapped. He took a deep breath as he put his wrists together before continuing. “I-I need, yo-yo-you to ti-tie my-my, hands so-so I don’t, hurt, any-anyone, or my, myself. A-an-and then, do-don’t look, ba-back.”

Takumi stared wide-eyed before his expression softened, bringing the palms of his hands up to his face, taking in the cries of the cicadas.

“Okay.”

Takumi removed his belt carefully, bending down and wrapping the leather strap around Bunji’s held out wrists, making an improvised pair of handcuffs. “I’ll meet ya half way.” Takumi then took a seat next to his partner, scooting apart, a meter separating them. “I’ll support you till the end. I won’t leave you, promise.”

Bunji sighed and yanked off his sweat drenched mask completely, holding it firmly in hand knowing that he would inevitably have to put it back on once the drooling started. “Yo-yo-you’re so st-stu-stubborn.”

“I’d say you’re pretty stubborn too, never giving up. You’re a fighter for getting this far. You did, your absolute best.”

“Ye-yeah, I gu-guess, I did.” Bunji smiled sadly. “You kno-know, th-th-this is, go-going to suck, bu-but at le-le-least it’s a-a nice, day.” He joked to lighten the mood. Takumi found himself blindsided by the out of nowhere melancholic comment and laughed out of a mix of surprise and nervousness at the truth the statement held. “How can you say stuff like that right now?”

“Be-because, I-I-I like, look-looking on th-th-the bright side, duh.”

After their laughter dissipated silence hung in the air. Takumi put his left hand on the hot pavement, feeling the heat of the sun. “I’d feel like a monster if I left you. I’ve already done so many messed up things, killed so many people. Leaving Itsuki, not stopping Taniko, not being there for Nagisa, that man at the slope, the mother and son. What I did to Ham. All of them.”

All went quiet again. Bunji placed his hands in his lap and said the only words that came to mind.

“I lo-love you, an-an-and every-everyone, so much.”

Takumi smiled and his chest felt tight, as if it physically pained him to reply.

“I love ya too.”

In that moment it felt as if the whole world stood still. Nothing but the sound of an orchestra of cicadas.

“Look at the sky above me as I’m walking. So that the tears in my eyes won’t start falling. Thinking of those days back in the spring.—”

Bunji’s singing was interjected by Takumi. “But I’m alone again tonight.”

“Look at the sky above me as I’m walking. Counting the stars shining bright though my eyes are blurring. Think of summer days, shining with rays. But I’m alone again tonight.” As Bunji finished the verse he turned and gave Takumi a smile, ushering him to join in again.

“Happiness is found far beyond all the clouds.”

“Happiness above lying far from the ground.”

The two then joined in a swan song.

“Look at the sky above me as I’m walking. So that the tears in my eyes won’t start falling. Tears filling my eyes starting to cry.”

“For I’m alone again tonight.”

Takumi did as the song told, trying his best to hold back his tears.

“For I’m alone again tonight...”

。

。

。

**EPILOGUE**

It’s nice here...

You’re all with me.

Mom, Dad, Saori, Nagisa, Bunji, Shouta, Mr and Mrs. Sasaki, Taniko, Itsuki, Kiara, Doctor Murayama, that trio from the slope.

Everyone.

You’re all here.

You’re all here in this room, happy as can be.

How can you all be so happy?

I let you down. I left you. I hurt you.

But you’re still smiling at me.

Bunji’s screams snaps me to reality. I can hear him choke and gag on his own spit through the mask. His face is to the ground. I can’t look at him. I can’t take it anymore.

I raise the knife above my head.

And then you’re all staring at me.

Back in the room you place a gift box in my hands.

Looking inside, a palette of red paint.

“You’re a good artist, paint us something.”

So I do.

What better to paint than a red azalea.

I look down at my hands.

They’re shaking.

Why am I shaking?

Whose blood is it?

Bunji’s gone quiet now.

Let me scream.

I want to scream!

I want to...

I...

I want to stay.

I want to stay with all of you.

But there’s a voice screaming I can’t.

It’s screaming for me to leave.

To find out what lies beyond the room’s border.

When I go to open the door, you all beg for me to stay.

I don’t want to leave.

But I know I have to.

And as I step forward I want to make a promise.

A promise that I’ll keep going.

Are you looking?

Just up ahead I can see the men in green beyond the border.

Are you watching?

I stretch out my arms to embrace victory, and I smile.

Can you see me?

I finally made it...

。 。 。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pocari Sweat — Pocari Sweat (ポカリスエット) is a Japanese sports drink, manufactured by Otsuka Pharmaceutical.
> 
> Dekopon orange — Dekopon (デコポン) is a seedless and sweet variety of mandarin orange. It is a hybrid between Kiyomi and ponkan, developed in Japan in 1972. Dekopon is distinctive due to its sweet taste, large size, and the large protruding bump on the top of the fruit.
> 
> Ue Wo Muite Arukou — Ue Wo Muite Arukou (上を向いて歩こう) Walk With My Head High is a Japanese song made in 1961. Preformed by Kyu Sakamoto and written by lyricist Rokusuke Ei and composer Hachidai Nakamura. Mr. Ei’s lyrics tell the story of a man who looks up and whistles while he is walking so that his tears will not fall. The verses of the song describe his memories and feelings. Rokusuke Ei wrote this song while coming back from a protest against the Treaty of Mutual Cooperation and Security Between the United States and Japan and feeling dejected about the failure of the protest movement, but the lyrics were rendered purposefully generic so that they might refer to any lost love.
> 
> Somewhere Only We Know — "Somewhere Only We Know" is a song composed and performed by English alternative rock band Keane, officially released as the first single from their debut album, Hopes and Fears in 2004. The real meaning of the song's video and lyrics remain unknown; however, there is speculation that the meaning refers to "Manser's Shaw", a place in Battle where Keane members used to visit in their childhood days and the site of the Battle of Hastings, fought on 14 October 1066. Richard Hughes, Keane's drummer, offered the following explanation of the song on Chris Flynn's fansite: “We've been asked whether "Somewhere Only We Know" is about a specific place, and Tim has been saying that, for him, or us as individuals, it might be about a geographical space, or a feeling; it can mean something individual to each person, and they can interpret it to a memory of theirs... It's perhaps more of a theme rather than a specific message... Feelings that may be universal, without necessarily being totally specific to us, or a place, or a time...”.


End file.
